But so far, they've only had 1 billion applicants (the luckiest man on the planet)

According to sources, White House chief of staff John Kelly is frustrated with Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner, and questions what they do during the day. I'm going to say "nothing" and "homework." --Seth Meyers

NASA is currently recruiting people for their rest studies program in which participants will be paid $18,000 to spend 70 days in bed and smoke different types of marijuana. But so far, they've only had 1 billion applicants. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I’ve looked into it and nothing’s ever gone wrong with a guy named Jared (for some reason I just completely lost interest)

Since January 1st, Texas is allowing gun owners to carry their guns openly in most public places. However, you still have to conceal your science book. –Conan O’Brien

A new study came out that found the more porn a man watches, the less motivation he has. I was going to read more about the study, but for some reason I just completely lost interest. –Conan O’Brien

Donald Trump is making his son-in-law Jared Kushner a senior adviser to the Presidency. Today, Trump said, "I’ve looked into it and nothing’s ever gone wrong with a guy named Jared." –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Donald Trump Jr. is the only guy who claims himself as a dependent (Can you subpoena a mannequin?)

February 2023

“We are looking ahead to possible indictments from a Georgia grand jury over Donald Trump’s attempted election interference in Georgia. Probably the most that will happen is Trump’s lawyers will have another opportunity to file nuisance objections and delay the verdict, which is basically Trump’s strategy for everything. He’s almost 80 – if he can keep delaying long enough, he can get the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“In other Trump legal news, the special counsel looking into the events of January 6th issued subpoenas for Ivanka Trump and her husband, Jared Kushner. I don’t know what the point of subpoenaing Ivanka is – you know she is just going to plead the Saks Fifth. And serving Jared raises some important and interesting legal questions like, can you subpoena a mannequin?” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Meanwhile, the former president is trying to exploit the disaster in East Palestine. On Wednesday, he dropped off crates of Trump-branded bottled water, and faced tough questions for his administration’s rollback in 2018 of a rule that would have required better braking systems on trains carrying hazardous materials. So now, dummy who could’ve stayed out of this whole thing, is being held responsible for making safety last. But fortunately for him, he’s got an ardent defender in one Donald J. Jr. Appearing virtually on Fox News, the Trump’s eldest son complained about Pete Buttigieg: ‘There is no accountability. There’s not even expectation of these guys doing their jobs.’ And what is your job exactly?” I mean, seriously, besides yelling at your laptop, what is it that you do for a living? What do you write on your tax returns? ‘Son’? Donald Trump Jr. is the only guy who claims himself as a dependent.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

That dude needs to chill out and smoke some marijuana (by any standard that’s a promotion)

At the Grammys, Alessia Cara won the award for best new artist. She was up against Khalid, Julia Michaels, Lil Uzi Vert and SZA. Or as your mom knows them: who, who, who, who and SZA. --James Corden

In other White House news, according to a recent article, President Trump's son-in-law, Jared Kushner, has been asked to turn his focus to prison reform. And based on the way the Russia investigation is going, I assume he wants to make prisons way harder to get into.  --James Corden

In other news, former Trump staffer and one-time “Apprentice” contestant Omarosa took a new gig this week. It was announced she will be joining the cast of “Celebrity Big Brother.” From Trump’s White House to CBS’s “Big Brother” house — by any standard that’s a promotion. --James Corden

Today on Capitol Hill, Trump’s pick for attorney general, Jeff Sessions, was grilled by senators during the first confirmation hearing of the Trump administration. Sessions is a controversial pick. For instance, in the past, he’s been a vocal opponent of marijuana legalization. At one point he said, “Good people don’t smoke marijuana.” That dude needs to chill out and smoke some marijuana. –James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Barkeep, give me a shot of whole milk. Just leave the whole carton. (The student has become the master)

December 2022

“According to a survey, during the holidays, most dog owners buy a gift for their pet. Yeah. And then there's the people that are too lazy to shop and just give their dog cash.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Buying a gift for a dog is stressful. I mean, seriously, there's nothing more depressing than watching your dog open a present then fake wagging his tail.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Today President Biden hosted a ceremony on the South Lawn to sign a bill that mandates federal recognition for same-sex marriages. When he heard the news, Mike Pence was like, ‘Barkeep, give me a shot of whole milk. Just leave the whole carton.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“I read that Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner cut ties with former president Trump because he's ‘losing value’ and they don't need him anymore. Trump’s not even upset. He's like, ‘The student has become the master.’” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's because you are here to help create a new one (Number 343)

September 2022

“Excerpts from a new book on the Trump presidency from the New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman are being leaked. According to Confidence Man, Trump was having dinner with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer when he turned to their non-white staffers and said ‘why don’t you get the food?’ That is just awful, but to be fair, that’s what he says in every situation.” —Stephen Colbert

“Haberman also revealed that Trump nearly fired his daughter Ivanka and her husband, Jared Kushner, via tweet. That would be an awful way to find out they lost their jobs as … handbag blondeface? Haunted scarecrow? His and hers towel racks? I don’t know what they did. In the end, the ex-president did what he has done his whole life: he avoided his children. He never fired them, and as we all know, Jared went on to achieve Middle East peace.” —Stephen Colbert

“A new Forbes 400 list listed Elon Musk as the richest man in America, with a net worth of $251 Billion. The Tesla CEO beat out Jeff Bezos, who ceded his spot at No 1 in a show of solidarity with employees who aren’t allowed to go No 1 on the job. Trump is also back on the list, coming in at No 343, which hopefully will soon be his inmate number as well.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“There is a report in Maggie Haberman’s book that the former Trump chief of staff John Kelly convinced him not to fire Jared and Ivanka via tweet by waving a KFC drumstick in front of him and tossing it across the room. According to this book, everyone who worked at the White House, including his family, thought Trump was a dangerous, unpredictable child. And on behalf of all of us, I just want to say thank you to those brave men and women who kept that information to themselves and away from the American people who could have removed him from office.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I've always heard that if you pardon yourself too much you’ll go blind (When did 'Love It, or Leave It' become racist?)

Today Donald Trump tweeted: “As has been stated by numerous legal scholars, I have the absolute right to pardon myself, but why would I do that when I have done nothing wrong?” If you’re asking a bunch of legal scholars if you can pardon yourself in the event you’re found guilty of something, I’m going to say, you are probably guilty. Also, if he does this, this would definitely be the first time that Trump has ever used the phrase “Pardon me.” But he needs to be careful, because I’m no legal scholar, but I've always heard that if you pardon yourself too much you’ll go blind. --James Corden

A new restaurant has opened in Boston where all the food is cooked by robots. The restaurant was started by a group of engineers from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. A robot that can cook a meal. Is this a new thing? Isn't this just a microwave? I’m pretty sure I had a robot make me a frozen burrito last night. --James Corden

Government officials confirmed this afternoon that a person of interest in the FBI's Russia investigation is Trump's son-in-law, Jared Kushner. This comes at a bad time, because the Trump administration has just released its budget. Now they must be like, “Oh, we forgot to set aside bail money.” –James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This proves definitively that Mark Meadows is a gossipy little b*tch (no one should pay retail prices for quality yoga pants)

April 2022

“There have been a trove of damning text messages handed over to the House January 6th committee by former Trump White House chief of staff Mark Meadows – more than 2,319 text messages with numerous Trump allies and GOP lawmakers. More than 2,000 text messages! This proves definitively that Mark Meadows is a gossipy little bitch.” —Samantha Bee

“Some of the most damning texts came on election day, like when Fox News host Sean Hannity promised Meadows he would push his listeners to get Trump elected. When Meadows pressed Hannity to ‘stress every vote matter’, the host replied: ‘Yes sir. On it.’ You know, it’s actually kind of nice to know that inside Sean Hannity’s soft, weak exterior rests an even softer, weaker man.” —Samantha Bee

“In the days after the election, Mark Meadows’ phone kept blowing up in a group text that included villains such as Ivanka Trump, Hope Hicks, Jared Kushner and Jason Miller. In other words, they were basically only missing Jafar and Ursula the Sea Witch.” —Samantha Bee

“Though messages show some Trump aides, including Kushner, sent evidence countering Trump’s baseless election fraud claims, the White House continued peddling the big lie. Despite mounting worries, a total lack of fraud evidence and a warning about potential violence on January 6th, Meadows and company went full speed ahead anyways. Of course, when it did turn violent, it wasn’t enough for true believers like Marjorie Taylor Greene, who texted Meadows days later to suggest they stop Biden from taking office by having Trump declare ‘Marshall Law’. And if you’re thinking, ‘that’s not how you spell martial law,’ you are very correct,” ‘Marshall’s Law’, as everyone knows, is that no one should pay retail prices for quality yoga pants.” —Samantha Bee

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Did someone lose public trust after decades of selling lies for the ruling class? (his annual vegetable)

This afternoon, Trump got his annual physical, which will be followed by his annual vegetable. --Stephen Colbert

“So where do these fictional space lasers come from? Well, according to Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene, it could have been a beam from ‘space solar generators.’ A ‘space solar generator.’ So, the sun?” —Stephen Colbert

“But claims like these require proof, right? Well, here’s Margie’s evidence: ‘Oddly, there are all these people who have said they saw what looked like lasers or blue beams of light causing the fires.’ That’s an embarrassing way to admit you’ve never heard of lightning.” —Stephen Colbert

“Of course, all the experts agree that the only way out of this pandemic is to increase, in any way possible, widely available, reliable testing. So, naturally, it was announced yesterday that the White House will end federal support for coronavirus testing sites on Friday. Why is Trump opposed to the testing? Someone tell him they are coronavirus tests, not paternity tests!” —Stephen Colbert

So far, Jared Kushner is in charge of brokering Mideast peace, negotiating the wall with Mexico, tackling America’s opioid epidemic, fixing the Department of Veterans Affairs, handling diplomacy with China, and dyeing the eggs for the White House Easter egg hunt. –Stephen Colbert​​

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The Little Engine That Could, Thanks to His High-Fiber Diet (I’m sure there’s a perfectly treasonable explanation)

President Trump’s son-in-law and adviser Jared Kushner reportedly met with executives from a Russian bank that was under U.S. sanctions during the 2016 presidential election. But I’m sure there’s a perfectly treasonable explanation. –Seth Meyers

"The official presidential candidate for the Ukrainian Internet Party is a man in a Darth Vader costume. Not to be confused with the president of Russia, who is Darth Vader in a man costume." –Seth Meyers

"The Department of Agriculture is encouraging grandparents to read their grandchildren bedtime stories about nutrition. Stories like 'Goodnight Kale,' 'James and the Giant Organic Peach,' and 'The Little Engine That Could, Thanks to His High-Fiber Diet.'" –Seth Meyers

A new alarm-clock app has launched that wakes users up with unconventional sounds like shattering glass, gunshots, and women screaming. Unfortunately, everyone in New York has learned to sleep through it. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Trump was like, ‘Please be Eric, please be Eric!’ (Doesn’t seem fair. We’re both family)

June 2021

“Speaking of the former president, his daughter and son-in-law don’t want to, because reports say that Ivanka and Jared Kushner have distanced themselves from the former president and his constant complaints. That complaint? [imitating Trump] ‘Why does he get to date my daughter? Doesn’t seem fair. We’re both family.’” —Stephen Colbert

“Trump has become so distant from Ivanka that he started to call her ‘Eric.’” —Jimmy Kimmel

“When he heard that one of his kids wanted distance, Trump was like, ‘Please be Eric, please be Eric!’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Apparently the feeling is somewhat mutual, because insiders say there is jealousy from the former president about Kushner’s ‘seven-figure book deal.’ Early reports are that Jared’s book is going to be a lot like Jared: glossy and no spine.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

What did me say to me? Me heard me. (who selfishly married the love of Trump’s life)

August 2020

“President Trump’s called Kamala Harris ‘nasty’ several times after Biden announced her as his running mate. In some cases, Trump referred to her as having been ‘horrible’ to Biden in a primary debate. I mean of all people, Donald Trump should totally understand how you can be with a woman who publicly humiliated you. He also shouldn’t be surprised that past enemies can become your friends. I mean, look who he has been working with: Ted Cruz, who called him a pathological liar and a narcissist. Lindsey Graham, who said he was a bigot and a nut job who was destroying the Republican Party. Marco Rubio, who called him a con artist and said he had a small [expletive]. And, of course, Jared Kushner, who selfishly married the love of Trump’s life.” —Trevor Noah

“Like, is Trump attacking or defending Joe Biden? I can’t tell. You know, I thought this election would be Trump versus Joe Biden. Now I think we could just lock Trump in a room and let him hash it out by himself. [As Trump] ‘What did me say to me? Me heard me.’” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This is turning into the worst year of Ted Nugent’s life (Oh, I Kushed it)

August 2020

“New York’s attorney general, Letitia James, sued to shut down the National Rifle Association. Wow, the NRA as we know it could be gone – aww, thoughts and prayers. We’ll work on helping but not right now, it’s just too soon. Right now the NRA is in so much trouble even Trump is afraid to wish them well. The lawsuit alleges that senior leaders used the formidable gun lobby group as their personal piggy bank and illegally diverted millions from its charitable work toward executive excess such as a family trips and private jets. The case could derail the 5-million-member group, which is why the Senate majority leader, Mitch McConnell, a frequent recipient of NRA funding, was seen breathing into his neck like it was a paper bag. —Jimmy Fallon

“That’s right, no more N.R.A., no more Confederate flags. This is turning into the worst year of Ted Nugent’s life.” —Jimmy Fallon

“And to make sure it dissolves, she’s going to put Jared Kushner in charge of the NRA. [Imitating Jared Kushner] ‘You can count on me — oh, no. Oh, you guys, bad news. Oh, I Kushed it.” —Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It’s a perfect plan – as long as no one from New York ever goes to Florida (Were you aware of that, detective?)

August 2020

“More dismal coronavirus news: it is still, in August, taking more than two weeks to receive testing results in some states, which is insane. The whole point of testing is to find cases, isolate them, then trace their contacts. If it takes two weeks, it’s pointless. 

We could’ve avoided this with a coordinated testing strategy from the beginning, and the US almost had one until Jared Kushner slithered out of his Westworld milk bath and fucked it up. According to a damning report by Vanity Fair last week, Kushner secretly spearheaded a plan for an aggressive national testing strategy in March and April that went poof into thin air after it met with a ‘changing sentiment’ by the administration. 

Senior advisers reportedly believed the virus was subsiding and primarily affecting ‘blue states’, and thus sought to push the blame for testing failures on Democratic governors. I guess it’s not surprising to learn that Jared Kushner is a sociopath. 

I mean, look at him. He looks like Hannibal Lecter in a CW reboot of Silence of the Lambs. ‘Did you hear about the new kid? I heard he ate someone’s liver with fava beans and a Capri Sun.’ 

Kushner is the guy who takes his gloves off before dousing you with kerosene. Imagine the president’s son-in-law in action: ‘Gasoline is such a tricky smell to get out of leather. Were you aware of that, detective?’ 

So they had a national testing plan then scrapped it so they could blame the whole thing on Democratic governors. Given that it’s the Trump administration, he joked that it was likely their testing plan was simply: 1. Have one. But not only is that evil, it’s stupid. 

This is an infectious disease. This virus has traveled all over the world. Did they not realize it could travel to red states too? Imagine the mindset of a Trump official: ‘It’s a perfect plan – as long as no one from New York ever goes to Florida.’” —Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

it’s like a whole restaurant full of Jared Kushners (even the guy made out of plastic was able to get a date)

“There’s a fine dining establishment in Virginia, a very fancy restaurant called The Inn at Little Washington that has a plan for reopening. You know, social distancing will probably mean a lot of empty tables, which isn’t great ambience wise, so the owner of this restaurant is putting mannequins in the empty seats to make it feel full. For real — it’s like a whole restaurant full of Jared Kushners.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“If eating in a half empty restaurant makes you uncomfortable, now you have the option of eating in the final scene of a horror movie, much more relaxing. Also, how bad would you feel if you’re eating alone and then you look over and you see that even the guy made out of plastic was able to get a date?” —Trevor Noah

“The international drug trade has also collapsed on several levels, from supply to manufacturing, and in its place, several former drug networks have become supply chains for families in need, at least according to news from my native South Africa, where gang members were delivering food to families in need. I don’t know, man – these gangs might want to be careful delivering groceries and hand sanitizer, ’cause that’s Amazon’s turf. You guys think you’re tough? Wait until you meet Jeff Bezos. A month from now, the Sinaloa cartel is gonna be the Sinaloa Amazon fulfillment center – and there’s no benefits!” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Seriously, get out of there. You’re doing a terrible job (the incubation room)

“The White House ordered West Wing staff members to wear masks on Monday after a military valet and Katie Miller, a spokeswoman for Mike Pence and the wife of the presidential adviser Stephen Miller, tested positive for Covid-19. Although Trump, Pence, and senior members of their administration have declined to isolate themselves, Dr. Anthony Fauci and two other top administration health officials decided to self-quarantine for the next two weeks. Mr. President, the virus is calling from inside the house — get out of there! Seriously, get out of there. You’re doing a terrible job.” —Stephen Colbert

“No, Dr. Fauci, don’t self-quarantine, we need you. If you’re not around, all the health decisions are going to be made by Jared Kushner, the MyPillow guy, and William Barr in a sexy nurse costume.” —Stephen Colbert

“This is super serious. Katie Miller has attended nearly all of the White House coronavirus task force meetings in the situation room, which they’ve now temporarily rechristened ‘the incubation room.’” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Oh, this guy’s got an amp … well, that could come in really handy (developing a weed habit in quarantine)

“There is a BuzzFeed News report that New York state, on the direct recommendation of the White House coronavirus task force, paid $69.1 Million to a mobile-phone engineer in California who simply tweeted at Trump that he could supply ventilators. That’s three times the retail price of high-end ventilators to someone without medical device experience; not a single ventilator has been delivered on the contract. This is insane. I mean, we’re talking about a guy who’s the most powerful person on Earth – there’s literally a law that allows him to compel companies to make ventilators – and he’s combing through his Twitter replies like he’s putting a band together – ‘Oh, this guy’s got an amp … well, that could come in really handy.’” —Seth Meyers

“Trump claims that no one could have seen a pandemic coming, or that the White House has handled coronavirus well. Trump had the chance to act early, to prevent both the public health crisis and the economic one, and instead he chose to ignore and downplay the threat. And part of that failure is Trump’s ‘spectral son-in-law’ Jared Kushner, who on Wednesday told Fox and Friends that the government’s response to the virus was a ‘great success story.’ A great success story? You’re not even a great success story. You’re only in the White House because Ivanka lost Tom Brady’s phone number in one of her sweatshop handbags. You shouldn’t be anywhere near the White House; you should be confessing to Christopher Meloni at the end of an episode of Law & Order. Seriously, we have one million cases, 60,000 deaths and 30 million out of work. If this is a success, what would failure look like? The Statue of Liberty getting laid off and developing a weed habit in quarantine?” —Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

the president calls him Melania (Preventable Apocalypse Now)

“I love the idea that he’s watching late-night television to see if we make jokes about him. Jared, in case you are, here are a few I think you’ll like. Jared Kushner is so dead inside, the president calls him Melania. Jared Kushner looks like if white privilege had a baby with raw cookie dough. Jared Kushner looks like a Pez dispenser of ‘Young Sheldon.’ Even Jared from Subway is like, ‘This Jared gives me the creeps.’” — Jimmy Kimmel

“[imitating Jared Kushner] Yes, it’s a great story. More people dying under this administration in 100 days than died in 20 years of the Vietnam War. That’s a story that needs to be told. Perhaps in the blockbuster movie, ‘Preventable Apocalypse Now.’” — Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

the security guards believed your fake ID (This is Sweden)

“We have a situation where states are begging for life-saving ventilators and the Trump team is in disarray. Governors are literally outbidding each other on the open market, and dealing with shady middlemen and price gouging to buy ventilators wherever they can get them. New York’s governor, Andrew Cuomo, compared the experience to eBay; Connecticut’s governor, Ned Lamont, said it was like Uber surge pricing, except “at the last moment, the car drives away because somebody has outbid you.” —Seth Meyers

“That’s right, governors are comparing buying life-saving ventilators for a pandemic to surge pricing. This is capitalism at its absolute worst. While Trump waits for the market to decide, people are literally going to die, and states are getting ripped off like they’re trying to call an Uber in the rain in midtown after a Broadway show. And you’ll never guess who’s in charge of this shitshow. The guy Slenderman has nightmares about: Jared Kushner. Kushner reportedly pushed back on Cuomo’s request for 30,000 ventilators; he called Cuomo an alarmist and said in a White House meeting: ‘I have all this data about ICU capacity. I’m doing my own projections, and I’ve gotten a lot smarter about this. New York doesn’t need all the ventilators.’ Oh, you’re doing your own projections? Did your parents just buy you a TI-84 [graphing calculator]? You’re not qualified to do anything, let alone tell New York how many ventilators they need. You’re a nepotism case, and you only got the White House job because you married into the family, and because the security guards believed your fake ID.” —Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

It's like making Jared Kushner ambassador to Funkytown (I mean, Oh F*ck!)

It's an exciting day tomorrow, a rare event. Leap Day is tomorrow and the way the stock market is going there's gonna be a lot of leaping. —Bill Maher

The Stock Market lost six trillion dollars because of the Coronavirus. Billionaires have lost so much money Michael Bloomberg is not even sure anymore he buy the country. —Bill Maher

Is the Coronavirus serious? Yes it is. The CDC is now calling the virus Covid-19. And you know a disease is serious when they give it a rap name. —Bill Maher

We have to take more precautions now. I mean just assume everyone is infectious. The same warning they give contestants on The Bachelor. —Bill Maher

Fortunately Donald Trump is in charge and by fortunately I mean, Oh F*ck! —Bill Maher

We have a president who thinks this coronavirus is a minor annoyance like the common cold or the Constitution of the United States. —Bill Maher

Who did Trump appoint as the person to head up this massive medical emergency, Mike Pence. Who doesn't even believe in evolution. Really? It's like making Jared Kushner ambassador to Funkytown. —Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”