He doesn’t say any more until we have a deal (next in line to take over)

Asked on the flight back from Scotland if the workers Epstein hired away from Trump were young women, the president responded: “Well, I don’t want to say, but everyone knows the people who were taken. And the concept of taking people who work for me is bad.” 

He then confirmed that they were indeed young women who worked at the spa – “a great spa, one of the best spas in the world”. If this were a Law & Order episode, right about here is where Trump’s attorney would turn to Jack McCoy and say, ‘He doesn’t say any more until we have a deal.’ —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You are being conditioned to view your freedom as selfish (HW’s Wok and Bowl and Top-Secret Document Warehouse)

October 2022

“Did Trump basically admit that he knew it was illegal to take top-secret documents to Mar-a-Lago? Any normal person in that situation might stay out of the spotlight, or at the very least, avoid talking about the case in public. But Trump, as we all know, is not normal. And during that rally in Arizona Trump, decided just essentially to confess. Trump said he had a small number of boxes in storage at Mar-a-Lago ‘guarded by Secret Service and my people and everybody. I mean, it’s safe,’ and also claimed ‘it’s not a crime,’ calling the documents ‘mine’ The key quote there is when he says it’s ‘mine’. That shows you it’s not a misunderstanding. He didn’t take the classified documents by accident; he took them on purpose because he thinks they belong to him. And when you’re proving a crime, criminal intent is key. I know that because I watch a show called Law & Order: Criminal Intent – it’s right there in the title. There was never a Law & Order spinoff called Law & Order: Oops, My Bad.” —Seth Meyers

“Trump also claimed without evidence that former president George H.W. Bush took ‘millions’ of top-secret documents to a former bowling alley and former Chinese restaurant in Texas, where he ‘combined them’. And that is why, to this day, if you’re in Texas, you can stop by HW’s Wok and Bowl and Top-Secret Document Warehouse.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Oh, this guy’s got an amp … well, that could come in really handy (developing a weed habit in quarantine)

“There is a BuzzFeed News report that New York state, on the direct recommendation of the White House coronavirus task force, paid $69.1 Million to a mobile-phone engineer in California who simply tweeted at Trump that he could supply ventilators. That’s three times the retail price of high-end ventilators to someone without medical device experience; not a single ventilator has been delivered on the contract. This is insane. I mean, we’re talking about a guy who’s the most powerful person on Earth – there’s literally a law that allows him to compel companies to make ventilators – and he’s combing through his Twitter replies like he’s putting a band together – ‘Oh, this guy’s got an amp … well, that could come in really handy.’” —Seth Meyers

“Trump claims that no one could have seen a pandemic coming, or that the White House has handled coronavirus well. Trump had the chance to act early, to prevent both the public health crisis and the economic one, and instead he chose to ignore and downplay the threat. And part of that failure is Trump’s ‘spectral son-in-law’ Jared Kushner, who on Wednesday told Fox and Friends that the government’s response to the virus was a ‘great success story.’ A great success story? You’re not even a great success story. You’re only in the White House because Ivanka lost Tom Brady’s phone number in one of her sweatshop handbags. You shouldn’t be anywhere near the White House; you should be confessing to Christopher Meloni at the end of an episode of Law & Order. Seriously, we have one million cases, 60,000 deaths and 30 million out of work. If this is a success, what would failure look like? The Statue of Liberty getting laid off and developing a weed habit in quarantine?” —Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

it's the only form of birth control her insurance would cover (sweet chocolate buns)

The website Refinery29 recently posted a list of possible wedding gifts for lesbian brides. A lesbian bride is like a straight bride except she's experienced orgasm. --Late Night with Seth Meyers

After a seven-year absence, NBC announced they're bringing back their genealogy series "Who Do You Think You Are?" But this time they're calling it "Surprise: You're Related to Slave Owners." --Late Night with Seth Meyers

NBC ordered has a new "Law and Order" spin-off called "Law and Order: Hate Crimes." It's just body-cam footage. Just kidding. They turn the body cams off for that stuff. --Late Night with Seth Meyers

Officials in Florida yesterday pulled over a woman who was hiding a foot-long alligator in her yoga pants. To be fair, it's the only form of birth control her insurance would cover. --Late Night with Seth Meyers

An ice-cream chain in New York City has created a so-called gelato burger, which is two scoops of gelato sandwiched between sweet chocolate buns. And if you want to know what sweet chocolate buns look like, marry me. --Amber Ruffin

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

He looks like every dad finding out their daughter was cast on The Bachelor (She must have been good)

If you saw Michael Cohen on an episode of Law & Order you'd be like, he did it. --Jimmy Fallon

I saw that today in court an artist did a sketch of Michael Cohen. Can we see that? Oh, my gosh. Oh, man. He looks like every dad finding out their daughter was cast on "The Bachelor." --Jimmy Fallon

And get this, Michael Cohen also had to pay more than $1 million in restitution. When Trump heard that he was like, “$1 million for restitution? She must have been good.” --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

It was the judge this whole time! (National Punctuation Day)

At a campaign rally on Friday, President Trump defended Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, saying, "He was born for the position." What position — surprise villain in a "Law & Order" episode? "It was the judge this whole time!" --Seth Meyers

Today was National Punctuation Day, and hopefully Bill Cosby is celebrating with a really long sentence. --Seth Meyers

According to reports, rapper Cardi B is in talks to perform with Maroon 5 at this year's Super Bowl halftime show. So if you like Cardi B and you also like Maroon 5, you're trying way too hard to connect with your kids. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

By Republican standards, that would make him the family values candidate (this could escalate from concerned to severely frowned upon)

"We're now finding out where all the candidates met their spouses. Barack Obama met his wife at a law firm. John McCain met his wife at a Naval officers' dance. And Rudy Giuliani met his third wife when he was cheating on his first wife with his second wife." --Jay Leno

"Actor and former U.S. Senator Fred Thompson, the guy from "Law and Order," is thinking of running. He's only been married twice. By Republican standards, that would make him the family values candidate." --Jay Leno

"The U.N. Security Council expressed concern over Iran capturing those 15 British soldiers. Concerned? With the U.N. involved, this could escalate from concerned to severely frowned upon." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Imagine if you go to Hell and it's for that (The moral crisis of our age)

But Mueller told Trump that, while he is not a criminal target, he still needs to ask him some questions. Basically he's treating the president like the guy who used to work with the woman who turned up dead on this week's "Law & Order." --Jimmy Kimmel

Some people think he could be saying this to bait Trump into sitting down at an interview. If you want to bait Trump, you leave a trail of cheeseburgers. That's how you bait him. --Jimmy Kimmel

A kid wrote in and asked Pat Robertson if the Bible said it was OK to play with mermaid toys. Good news, it is. Imagine if you go to Hell and it's for that. --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

Call it 'Los Elephantes.' (I Want a Parade)

"Scooter Libby received a ludicrous 30 months in prison. 30 months? He only obstructed justice for a couple of hours. Now Scooter, I do have some advice for you when you check into the graybar hotel. The second you arrive, punch the first guy you see, then stand over that sucker and shout, 'You've been scootered.' Next, find Duke Cunningham and start your own prison gang. Call it 'Los Elephantes.' In the next few months, you're going to get a lot more members." --Stephen Colbert

"Vice President Dick Cheney said today the surge policy is working. In fact, gas prices have surged almost $4 a minute." --Jay Leno

"Actor and former Senator Fred Thompson, who left the TV show 'Law & Order,' has yet to announce he's running for president but he's already third in the polls among Republicans. Isn't that amazing? He leaves NBC, and his ratings automatically go up." --Jay Leno

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Every time someone says G8, Bush yells out, 'Bingo!' (Groucho Marxism, pt. 5)

"They say it's just a matter of time before former senator and 'Law & Order' actor Fred Thompson gets into the Republican race. Apparently, 10 rich white guys doesn't offer enough choices to the voters. They need 11 rich white guys." --Jay Leno

"In a forum for Democratic candidates, Hillary Clinton said her faith in God got her through her husband's infidelity. She didn't say which one, but it got her through. She said faith and prayers kept her in her marriage. That and her ambition to be senator and president." --Jay Leno

"Leaders from the eight wealthiest countries in the world are gathering in Germany for what they call the G8 Summit. The G8 was created in 1975 to give Europeans who aren't into soccer something to riot about.  President Bush is there. See, I don't think President Bush really understands the G8. Every time someone says G8, he yells out, 'Bingo.'" --Jay Leno

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

young stud pool boy/he did it for 40 minutes (Look, a car!)

"Fred Thompson's on the show tonight. After leaving the Senate, Fred was a regular for years on 'Law & Order.' That's typical Hollywood typecasting. He's a Republican so Hollywood automatically puts him on 'Law & Order.' See, if he was a Democrat, he would have been the young stud pool boy on 'Desperate Housewives.'" --Jay Leno

"This weekend,  President Bush visited Albania and everywhere his motorcade drove, he was greeted with cheers and applause. The Albanians were really excited, and kept saying, 'Look, a car!'" --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday, President Bush talked about his immigration bill and said, 'The political process is two steps forward, one step back.' Then Bush said, 'It's just like the Hokey Pokey.' Then he did it for 40 minutes." --Conan O'Brien

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-

collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Afterwards, he promised to solve the crisis in Iraq by the end of the episode

"What is it with all these gay Republican sex scandals? Remember the old days when a politician would just put his hand in your pockets to get your money." --Jay Leno

"Earlier today, Fred Thompson who is a former star of Law & Order, confirmed with his supporters that he is running for president. Afterwards, Thompson promised to solve the crisis in Iraq by the end of the episode." --Conan O'Brien

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

The president's popularity continues to fall (Special Victims Unit)

"Fred Thompson just unveiled his campaign slogan, his campaign slogan is: 'United in our core beliefs.' Yeah, if the slogan's a hit, Thompson plans to unveil another one: 'United in our core beliefs: Special Victims Unit." --Conan O'Brien

"This week President Bush met with Chinese President Hu Jintao, and Hu invited Bush to attend the 2008 summer Olympics in China. Yeah, Bush told the Chinese president 'I'm busy next year, but pencil me in for the 2009 summer Olympics.'" --Conan O'Brien

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

His scented candle tipped over and lit his massage oils on fire (War Is Swell)

"This was Fred Thompson's first debate. Remember  Fred Thompson from the show 'Law & Order'? Also, Rudy Giuliani, remember him from the TV show 'Cheaters'?" -Jay Leno

"It was a big night for Fred. His wife wanted to watch, but you know Fred's rules -- no TV on a school night." -Jay Leno

"They finally revealed the cause of those fires in the bathroom of the Senate office building last week. Turns out, Idaho Senator Larry Craig's scented candle tipped over and lit his massage oils on fire." -Jay Leno

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern #repealreplacerepublicans

And at the beginning, they found a hooker in a dumpster (stealing the show)

   

"The big news yesterday was the CNBC Republican presidential debate on the economy, including the one candidate everyone's been waiting for [on screen: news reports on Fred Thompson]. Can he? Will he? Does he? Are he? 

The world is watching former senator and actor Frederick Thompson. And ... go [on screen: Thompson struggling for words]. Adding, 'Line.' ... Turns out Fred Thompson, though skilled actor, ugh ... not so hot at improv, despite his many years in the Uptight Citizens Brigade. 

Thompson's rivals tried to keep him from stealing the show 

[on screen: Mitt Romney saying the GOP WH '08 race is like 'Law & Order' because 'it has a huge cast, the series seems to go on forever, and Fred Thompson shows up at the end']. 

And at the beginning, they found a hooker in a dumpster." --Jon Stewart

      

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern #repealreplacerepublicans

the only way it could be worse is if his name was George W. Huckabee (War Sheep)

"Former 'Law & Order' star Fred Thompson appeared in his first presidential debate last night. Political experts called him uneven, flat and dull. In other words, Thompson was the highlight of the debate." --Conan O'Brien

"One of  President Bush's closest advisers said that Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee is going to have trouble getting elected 'cause his last name is Huckabee. He said the only way it could be worse is if his name was George W. Huckabee." --Conan O'Brien

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern #repealreplacerepublicans

his early lead evaporated quicker than those wedding vows (that gloomy hang dog look)

"In South Carolina, former 'Law & Order' star Fred Thompson has dropped out of the presidential race. He also came in a distant third. Came in third! Which would be great if he was still on NBC. He'd be a hero. Hey, we'll take third place." --Jay Leno

"I was sad to see Fred Thompson drop out. I just hope this doesn't give his face that gloomy hang dog look." --Jay Leno

"It looks like Rudy Giuliani is having a rough time in Florida. Man, I tell you, his early lead evaporated quicker than those wedding vows." --Jay Leno

 "As if this field isn't crowded enough,  Ralph Nader says he will decide in a month whether he'll run for president again. Ralph Nader. Hey, he's ready to go. Luckily, his suit is still unpressed from the last time." --Jay Leno

First you click on “Features,” and then select “Living Nightmare.”

Yesterday, Donald Trump officially became the president-elect after 538 electors from the Electoral College cast their votes — and immediately after, Donald Trump claimed that 3 million of them voted illegally. –Jimmy Fallon

I want to say happy birthday to “Law & Order” creator Dick Wolf, who turned 70 today. And if you missed his party, don’t worry. It will repeat several times tonight and all day Sunday on the USA Network. –Jimmy Fallon

Facebook is testing a new group phone call feature that will let you talk on the phone with up to 50 friends at once. If you want to try it, you go to Facebook, you click on “Features,” and then select “Living Nightmare.” –Jimmy Fallon

Jeb did the entire interview with the lens cap on (Law & Order suspects)

Bernie Sanders endorsed Hillary Clinton this afternoon and told his supporters that while he lost the primary, the revolution continues. Though I don't think he should have ended by saying, "Seize her!" –Seth Meyers

Jeb Bush yesterday said in an interview that Donald Trump is a master at understanding how the media works. Whereas Jeb did the entire interview with the lens cap on. –Seth Meyers

Donald Trump has begun referring to himself as the "law and order" candidate, while his sons look more like "Law & Order" suspects. –Seth Meyers

Donald Trump has begun referring to himself as the "law and order" candidate, though I think that title should go to Hillary, since she's also been running for the last 25 years. –Seth Meyers

Hey, we'll take third place

"Mitt Romney was in Jacksonville, Florida, and they had the big Martin Luther King Day parade there. You have to hand it to him. Even though he didn't fit in at all, he made himself right at home there. Take a look [on screen: Romney asking a group of black children 'Who let the dogs out, whoo whoo!']. Did you hear that question he asked? In fairness, that was his first time ever meeting black people." --Jimmy Kimmel

"A Nevada brothel is encouraging its customers to give their tips to the Ron Paul campaign. How did this endorsement deal slip by Bill Clinton? He must be getting old." --Jay Leno

"In South Carolina, former 'Law & Order' star Fred Thompson has dropped out of the presidential race. He also came in a distant third. Came in third! Which would be great if he was still on NBC. He'd be a hero. Hey, we'll take third place." --Jay Leno