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Monday, August 20, 2018

"Don't make the same mistake my parents made," said Pornhub Collins (side of mayo/a little bit gay)



Democrats and some Republicans are voicing concerns about President Trump's proposed military parade and feel the event may come off as totalitarian. You think? That's like someone being worried that the Pride Parade is going to come off as a little bit gay. --Seth Meyers
President Trump had lunch with Vice President Mike Pence today. He didn't mean to. He just asked a waiter for a side of mayo and they brought Pence over. --Seth Meyers
President Trump tweeted today that there is nothing that he would want more for the country than true freedom of the press. And then even the Twitter bird rolled its eyes. --Seth Meyers
According to a new study, roughly 20 percent of millennial parents have changed or seriously considered changing their baby's name based on what internet domain names were available at the time. "Don't make the same mistake my parents made," said Pornhub Collins. --Seth Meyers
http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Omarosa hid the microphone somewhere Trump would never find it (Irack Intellijuns)



Best Buy just purchased a company that provides emergency response services. So, next time you're having a heart attack, don't worry, the Geek Squad will be over tomorrow between 2:00 and 4:00 to save your life. --Jimmy Fallon
Former White House aide Omarosa Manigault released a fourth secret recording today. Apparently she hid the microphone somewhere Trump would never find it — in a salad. --Seth Meyers
http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Honesty is the best policy (Fake News, Franklin!)


Today Omarosa released another secret recording. On this one, Eric Trump's wife, Lara, offers Omarosa $180,000 so she won't say anything negative about the White House. Then Melania said, "Hey, that's WAY more than I'm getting." --Jimmy Fallon
Lara offered Omarosa 180 grand to keep quiet about her time in the administration. Listen to this: [Audio of Lara Trump] "I think we can work something out where we keep you right along those lines. We're talking about, like, 15k a month." $180,000. Does that sound like a fair deal for you? In response, Lara said, "I am so embarrassed about this tape. Now everyone will know that I'm married to Eric Trump." --Jimmy Fallon
In her book "Unhinged," Omarosa says the White House staff has immediate access to any prescription drugs they need. Americans heard that and were like, "Yeah, we all did. It was called Obamacare." --Jimmy Fallon
http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

My sources tell me Trump wants to have bin Laden brought back to life so he can kill him himself (Enemies List)



Trump found a new way to suppress those who dare criticize him. He took the rare and unusual step of revoking the security clearance held by former CIA Director John Brennan. Trump said he revoked Brennan's clearance because of risks posed by his "erratic behavior, for making unfounded, outrageous allegations and wild outbursts on the internet." In other words, he literally described himself. --Jimmy Kimmel
John Brennan was the point person for the operation that killed Osama bin Laden. But that was under the Obama administration. Trump really wants to undo anything Obama did. My sources tell me he wants to have bin Laden brought back to life so he can kill him himself. --Jimmy Kimmel
http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Who was the Nitwit who hired Omarosa in the first place (we all know the enemy of the people is gluten)


President Trump is busy planning a parade around Veterans Day in Washington, D.C. And remember last month they said this parade would cost $12 million? Turns out the estimate was a little bit off — it was off by about $80 million. According to a Defense official, the parade is now expected to cost $92 million. But don't worry, I'm sure he'll get Mexico to pay for this one, too. --Jimmy Kimmel
According to a new poll, a majority of Republicans believe the news media is the "enemy of the people." Which is — we all know the enemy of the people is gluten. --Jimmy Kimmel
http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Sunday, August 19, 2018