“Excerpts from a new book on the Trump presidency from the New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman are being leaked. According to Confidence Man, Trump was having dinner with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer when he turned to their non-white staffers and said ‘why don’t you get the food?’ That is just awful, but to be fair, that’s what he says in every situation.” —Stephen Colbert
“Haberman also revealed that Trump nearly fired his daughter Ivanka and her husband, Jared Kushner, via tweet. That would be an awful way to find out they lost their jobs as … handbag blondeface? Haunted scarecrow? His and hers towel racks? I don’t know what they did. In the end, the ex-president did what he has done his whole life: he avoided his children. He never fired them, and as we all know, Jared went on to achieve Middle East peace.” —Stephen Colbert
“A new Forbes 400 list listed Elon Musk as the richest man in America, with a net worth of $251 Billion. The Tesla CEO beat out Jeff Bezos, who ceded his spot at No 1 in a show of solidarity with employees who aren’t allowed to go No 1 on the job. Trump is also back on the list, coming in at No 343, which hopefully will soon be his inmate number as well.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“There is a report in Maggie Haberman’s book that the former Trump chief of staff John Kelly convinced him not to fire Jared and Ivanka via tweet by waving a KFC drumstick in front of him and tossing it across the room. According to this book, everyone who worked at the White House, including his family, thought Trump was a dangerous, unpredictable child. And on behalf of all of us, I just want to say thank you to those brave men and women who kept that information to themselves and away from the American people who could have removed him from office.” —Jimmy Kimmel
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
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