Thursday, November 30, 2017

It’s part of their “They Deserve Each Other” tour (tastes like plumber)

Former White House adviser Steve Bannon is heading to Alabama to campaign for embattled candidate Roy Moore. It’s part of their “They Deserve Each Other” tour. –Conan O’Brien

Nintendo has teamed with Kellogg's to make a Mario Brothers cereal. Kellogg's promises that the Super Mario cereal will “taste like plumber.” –Conan O’Brien

A new study finds that men with thick biceps are more likely to live longer. The study also found that I died 10 years ago. –Conan O’Brien #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

He issued an apology to his three living fans (it wasn’t such a great idea after all)

Former Prairie Home Companion host Garrison Keillor has been fired by Minnesota Public Radio over allegations of sexually inappropriate behavior. Keillor issued an apology to his three living fans. –Conan O’Brien

Longtime “Today” show anchor Matt Lauer was fired because he was caught engaging in sexually inappropriate behavior. Afterwards, Lauer said, “Maybe having all those people looking through the windows wasn’t such a great idea after all.” –Conan O’Brien #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Jimmy Dore: News Media Pretends Bad Things Started With Trump  #JohnHulse #CollectedPoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans 

It’s the first time he’s connected a crime to a white guy (Sound Familiar?)

Two properties associated with Donald Trump have decided to remove his name from their building. Sadly, neither one is the White House. –Conan O’Brien

In a tweet this morning, Donald Trump suggested that Joe Scarborough is a murderer. This is a big step up for Trump. It’s the first time he’s connected a crime to a white guy. –Conan O’Brien #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Zombie Speaker Paul Ryan (or having to WATCH the Giants)

Actually, President Trump tweeted about Matt Lauer being fired and went on to attack NBC News executives and Joe Scarborough. Then Kim Jong Un was like, “Uh, did you guys not see that missile yesterday, orrrr…?” –Jimmy Fallon

Let’s get to some sports here. The Giants announced that they are benching Eli Manning this weekend. Eli’s not sure what’s worse – not getting to play for the Giants, or having to WATCH the Giants. –Jimmy Fallon

Instead of Eli, the Giants will start former Jets quarterback Geno Smith. You know things are bad when your solution is, “Let’s try the guy who was cut by the Jets!” –Jimmy Fallon #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Just a minute. I'm in the middle of rolling a joint (HR Rep Blues)

The Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree was lit tonight! Also getting lit tonight – the HR rep over at the "Today" show. –Jimmy Fallon

That’s the big story today. NBC has fired Matt Lauer from the “Today” show after he was accused of inappropriate sexual behavior. So if you were wondering “Where in the World is Matt Lauer?” – he’s probably at a bar with Charlie Rose. –Jimmy Fallon #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

The Beatles This Boy #JohnHulse
#Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Joe Tex - The Love You Save #JohnHulse
#Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

But on the plus side, she covered the whole industrial age in one period (while he's out of the country)

Vice President Mike Pence announced today that he will travel to Israel next month to address its legislative body. And this is scary, while he's out of the country, Trump will be in charge. –Seth Meyers

A teacher in Indiana was arrested this week for allegedly snorting cocaine in her classroom. But on the plus side, she covered the whole industrial age in one period. –Seth Meyers #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

I think they are getting Bernie confused with republican president Dwight D. Eisenhower (Cleveland Browns)

President Trump tweeted this morning that NFL stadiums are having a very hard time filling up due to recent national anthem protests. "Yes, that's why," said the Cleveland Browns. –Seth Meyers

The top-selling items of Cyber Monday this year included the Nintendo Switch, Apple AirPods and the popular children's toy Hatchimals, while this year's least popular toy is Tickle Me Harvey. –Seth Meyers #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Queen Elizabeth finally gave the couple her blessing (got drunk and bought too many wings)

Genealogy experts say that Prince Harry and his fiancée Meghan Markle are actually distant cousins. After hearing they were related, Queen Elizabeth finally gave the couple her blessing. –Conan O’Brien

Arby’s has acquired Buffalo Wild Wings for $2.4 billion. They didn’t mean to, but like a lot of us, Arby’s got drunk and bought too many wings. –Conan O’Brien

MTV announced it's bringing back the original cast of “Jersey Shore.” Can you believe it? Every single cast member was available! –Conan O’Brien #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

These guys want to send your kid to Iran (They haven’t paid me in months)

This week, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson said that Russia isn’t acting like a “responsible nation.” President Trump agreed, saying, “They haven’t paid me in months.” –Conan O’Brien

People are mad at President Trump for meeting with Native American leaders in front of a portrait of anti-Native American president Andrew Jackson. Even worse, today President Trump met with Hispanic leaders in front of a portrait of President Trump. –Conan O’Brien #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Just what this country needs – MORE loud, orange people on TV (class warfare, pt.7)

The White House just unveiled its holiday display, and it has a nativity scene, marking the first time all year there’s been Wise Men at the White House. –Jimmy Fallon

Another big story is that Prince Harry is engaged to Meghan Markle. And it was announced that they’ll marry at Windsor Castle this May. Right now, every bride is asking, “Wow – how’d they get a venue so quick?!” –Jimmy Fallon
Some big TV news. MTV is bringing back "Jersey Shore" next year with the original cast. Just what this country needs – MORE loud, orange people on TV. –Jimmy Fallon #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Does this mean I can stay in my pajamas? (episode of Dora)

A little drama out of Washington today. Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi canceled their meeting with President Trump, after he attacked them on Twitter. Then Trump was like, “Does this mean I can stay in my pajamas?" –Jimmy Fallon

After he referred to her as Pocahontas yesterday, Elizabeth Warren said it’s unfortunate Trump can’t make it through a ceremony without using a racial slur. Then his aides said “Seriously? He can’t make it through an episode of ‘Dora’ without using a racial slur.” –Jimmy Fallon #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Jamarl Thomas: Tasteless Hack Joy Anne Reid Attacks Bernie & Jane Sanders; Jane Nails Her w/ Class  #JohnHulse #CollectedPoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans 

Jimmy Dore: Russia Hacks Wisconsin Teachers Union  #JohnHulse #CollectedPoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans 

Buck Owens - Gonna Have Love #JohnHulse
#Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

the rolling stones - it's all over now #JohnHulse
#Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

The Beatles - This Boy (Live Ed Sullivan February 16th,1964, CBS) #JohnHulse
#Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Jefferson Airplane - Somebody to Love (Dick Cavett Show) #JohnHulse
#Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Jimmy Dore: CNN Employee Defends CNN - FAILS Miserably  #JohnHulse #CollectedPoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans 

Majority Report: CRINGE: James O'Keefe CAUGHT Trying to Set Up Washington Post #JohnHulse
#Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

The Toys - Lovers Concerto #JohnHulse
#Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

The Beatles - Hey Jude (sessions) FULL available 24 mins #JohnHulse
#Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

The Beatles - Let it be : Rehearsal/Practice. #JohnHulse
#Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

The Beatles - Dig a pony : outtake. #JohnHulse
#Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

The Beatles FIRST EVER live radio performance from Manchester W/John, Paul, George & Pete Best.1962 #JohnHulse
#Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

The Beatles - The Evolution of Strawberry Fields Forever #JohnHulse
#Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Jimmy Dore: More Republicans Denounce Republican Tax Plan  #JohnHulse #CollectedPoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans 

Hey Girl, I hear you like revolutions (hard to export this type of government)

"So why did this all-night session happen? Because while Democrats have a majority in the Senate, they don't have the 60-vote supermajority needed to bring bills like this to a vote, thus forcing the Democrats to stay up all night to prevent the Republicans from staging an all-night, vote-blocking filibuster. You can see why we're fighting so hard to export this type of government to Iraq." --Jon Stewart

"If by stunt they mean an incredible display of valor, then yes, last night was an awesome stunt. Last night, the brave men and women -- well, mosty men -- of the 110th stood up and said, 'We are mad as hell, and we are not going to sleep as much as we would normally sleep tonight.'" --Daily Show correspodnent Aasif Mandvi, on the Senate's all-nighter being dismissed as a stunt #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Well hell, chaos would be an improvement (DC madam's slowest night ever)

"Last night, down in Washington, DC, they had the all-night Senate session. The senators were there all night. It was the DC madam's slowest night ever." --David Letterman

"But it was a pretty eventful session. Listen to this ... Barack Obama dozed off for 15 minutes and raised another $10 million." --David Letterman

"The Republicans were saying, 'Pulling out the troops in 120 days would lead to chaos in Iraq.' And I'm thinking, 'Well hell, chaos would be an improvement.'" --David Letterman #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Unfortunately, his best friend is someone named Thumper (endangered species)

"David Vitter's wife was by his side when he made the announcement. She called the senator her 'best friend.' Unfortunately, his best friend is someone named Thumper." --Jay Leno

"John McCain has a new campaign slogan, 'An Army Of One.' I don't want to say McCain's campaign is broke, but today he held a rally at the 99-cent store." --Jay Leno

"Al Gore's lovely daughter Sarah got married over the weekend. Critics are now bashing Al Gore for serving Chilean sea bass at his daughter's wedding, because it is an endangered species. In his defense, whenever Al Gore picks up a knife and fork, any species is endangered" --Jay Leno #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Are you supposed to take the word of a politician over a hooker? (a leader who touches just the right amount)

"In Manchester, New Hampshire, former President Bill Clinton bashed President Bush as a leader that is out of touch. See, why can't we combine President Bush and President Clinton, and get a leader who touches just the right amount." --Jay Leno

"Louisiana Senator David Vitter held a press conference this week, where he admitted yes, he was a client of the DC madam, but he said those stories of hookers dressing him in diapers were not true. Boy, what do you do there? Are you supposed to take the word of a politician over a hooker? It's a tough decision for people." --Jay Leno #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Fighting over the last diaper (fighting fire with fire)

"Things got a little testy at about four o'clock in the morning when a fight broke out between Senator David Vitter and 89-year-old Senator Robert Byrd over the last diaper." --Jay Leno

"A report card on Iraq shows progress on only eight of 18 areas. Eight out of 18. And, of course, President Bush is thrilled. That's the best report card he's ever got in his life." --Jay Leno

"Fox News is now reporting that there are people in the CIA who are working against President Bush's policy by using incompetence. So apparently, they are fighting fire with fire." --Jay Leno #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Secular Talk: Amazon Offered State Government Control In Cryptic Fascíst Takeover  #JohnHulse #CollectedPoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans 

Young Turks: Project Veritas Scam EXPOSED  #JohnHulse #CollectedPoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans 

Bernie on ISIS (I think we can do it by 2010. USA! USA!)

"But even if the administration is suggesting that the current resurgence of al Qaeda in Pakistan and Iraq is proof that we were right to go into Iraq, how can they deny it was the removal of our troops from Afghanistan to go to Iraq that caused the chaos allowing al Qaeda to come back in the first place? [on screen: WH Homeland Security Adviser Fran Townsend saying the administration is not able to judge if al Qaeda has increased its numbers in Iraq from pre-war levels]. So that's how they can deny it? They can play retarded. How could we know how much al Qaeda was in Iraq before the invasion when we didn't know s--- about Iraq when we went in?" --Jon Stewart

"Researchers at Johns Hopkins University are predicting that 75% of Americans will be overweight by the year 2015. But my fellow Americans, with a little team work, I think we can do it by 2010. USA! USA!" --Conan O'Brien #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

what exactly do you have to do to people to lose your colloquial status as 'folks'? (Roy Moore's hat)

"Many people have criticized the Bush administration's strategy in the global war on terror. Their plan has always been to take the fight to al Qaeda and slowly, but surely destroy them. So, Mr. President, if you had to sum up your strategy? [on screen: Bush saying al Qaeda has been weakened]. 

Well, Tuesday saw the release of the latest war on terror progress report, a new National Intelligence Estimate on the terrorist threat to the homeland. It says al Qaeda has re-established its central organization, gained a safe haven in Pakistan, and rather than being hurt by the war in Iraq, has been instead 'energized' by it and helped Osama bin Laden to recruit and raise funds. 

But most important about the NIE? It proves once and for all why we must stay in Iraq [on screen: Bush saying, 'The same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq were the ones who attacked us in America on September 11th']. The same folks? First of all, what exactly do you have to do to people to lose your colloquial status as 'folks'?" --Jon Stewart #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

It is literally the Christian thing to do (wife named Roxanne)

"As you may have heard, John McCain's Straight Talk Express has hit some bumps in the road lately, and many of those bumps turned out to be former passengers. Last week, McCain's strategists Terry Nelson and John Weaver left the campaign. Then, on Monday, the senator lost communications director Brian Jones and deputies Matt Paul and Danny Diaz. I believe the McCain campaign now consists of the senator, his wife, and this guy they picked up hitch-hiking. Which is why, regrettably, I must formally announce that I, too, am leaving the McCain campaign.  This is a decision made all the more difficult by the fact I never worked for the McCain campaign." --Stephen Colbert

"John McCain isn't the only candidate out there who is suffering. Over the weekend, former Virginia Governor Jim Gilmore announced he was dropping out of the race for the Republican nomination for president. His departure strikes a severe blow to his party's diversity. Of the nine white Christian men running, Gilmore was the only one with a wife named Roxanne. We no longer have that choice." --Stephen Colbert #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Jimmy Dore: Comedian Subpoenaed Over RussiaGate: "I Won't Talk" #JohnHulse
#Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Led Zeppelin done right by Russian Cutie

We're looking at a $1,500 haircut (Scooter Libby has gone too far)

"Just 24 hours until the new 'Harry Potter' book comes out. The ending has already been leaked. You know, that Scooter Libby has gone too far." --Jay Leno

"Next month, right here in Los Angeles, the leading Democratic presidential candidates will hold a gay debate. It will be a televised debate to discuss just gay issues. Well, how much is John Edwards going to spend on his hair for that one? We're looking at a $1,500 haircut." --Jay Leno #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Kings Of Leon cover Robyn's Dancing On My Own #JohnHulse
#Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

London Grammar Wicked Game #JohnHulse
#Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Thirty Seconds To Mars - Stay (Rihanna) in the Live Lounge #JohnHulse
#Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Monday, November 27, 2017

David Sirota: Trump's HHS Pick: Alex Azar, a Big Pharma Insider Who Pushed Drug Price Increases For a Decade #JohnHulse
#Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Secular Talk: Trump Is Wall Street's Errand Boy  #JohnHulse #CollectedPoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans 

Young Turks: The New GOP Tax Bill Is Worse Than You Think... #JohnHulse
#Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Secular Talk: Angry Neoliberals Lambast Susan Sarandon After Thoughtful Comments  #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans 

Jimmy Dore: What CNN Wont Tell You About War  #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans 

Jimmy Dore: Progressive Crowd Boos Bill Maher  #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans 

Noam Chomsky with Edward Snowden & Glenn Greenwald  #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans 

Noam Chomsky - Mikhail Bakunin’s Predictions  #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans 

that's just the hookers that work for the DC madam (Zogby poll)

"According to a new Zogby poll, the new Congress has hit another historic low. Only 14% of people approve of Congress. 14%! And that's just the hookers that work for the DC madam." --Jay Leno

"A lot of conservatives on radio and TV are now claiming Republican Senator David Vitter is not a hypocrite for talking about the sanctity of marriage while cheating on his wife with prostitutes. So exactly what would you have to do -- have sex with the hooker while apologizing to your wife on TV?" --Jay Leno #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Jamarl Thomas: D.N.C. CHAIR PURGES DISSENTERS IN SURPRISE SHAKE-UP  #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans 

Bill Murray knows it's Monday but... (You're Awesome)  #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Humanist Report: Bernie Sanders Exposes the Corruption Behind GOP’s Tax Reform Push  #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans 

Sunday, November 26, 2017

Jamarl Thomas: Google Is Writing Software to 'De Rank' RT Stories, Attacking the Very Notion of Reality  #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans 

Jamarl Thomas: Jermey Corbyn Supporting Group 'Momentum' Advances Loyalty Contract to Labour MPs  #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans 

I guess the doctors are going into the president's colon because... (accomplishments, pt. 8)

"The spokesman for the White House, Tony Snow, told the press corps today that Dick Cheney is going to president for two hours tomorrow. President Bush will be unconscious because he's having a colonoscopy. I guess the doctors are going into the president's colon because they suspect that's where his head has been all of this time." --Jimmy Kimmel

"As you know, the Democrats want to pull the troops out of Iraq in 120 days, 'cause the Iraqi government has only met eight of the 18 benchmarks we have set. They've had eight accomplishments. You know something? That's more than our Congress has had." --Jay Leno #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Jamarl Thomas: Newsweek's Jeffrey Bloodworth is Wrong! Democrats Survival Is Going "Hard Left"  #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans 

on the day that millions will be reading the new Harry Potter book, Voldemort will be running the country (New York City cabs)

"Tomorrow, President Bush is undergoing a colonoscopy, so he's going to temporarily transfer his presidential power to Vice President Dick Cheney. That's right, on the day that millions will be reading the new Harry Potter book, Voldemort will be running the country." --Conan O'Brien

"In a speech about foreign policy yesterday, Rudy Giuliani said that America needs to focus more on Pakistan. Giuliani says he knows more about Pakistan than the other candidates because he spent so much time in New York City cabs." --Conan O'Brien #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Secular Talk: Tech Giants Slowly Strangling Independent Media & Free Speech  #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans 

Jimmy Dore: Proof: Democrats Bought & Controlled By Millionaire Donors  #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans 

Humanist Report: The DNC is Still Struggling to Raise Money  #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans 

Young Turks: Hilarious "F*ck Trump" Bumper Sticker Story Update
#Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Young Turks: Republican Women Turning On Roy Moore
#Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Charles Pierce: Mitch McConnell Can’t Make Roy Moore Go Away
#Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

he shampoos his hair and then skips conditioner completely (Plan A)

"The U.S. Ambassador to Iraq said today he was not aware of any plan B strategy by our government for Iraq. Of course there's no plan B. We don't have a plan A." --Jay Leno

"John Edwards has a new TV commercial touting him as a tough guy. His wife says he has unbelievable toughness. And he is tough. Like in the ad, sometimes it says he shampoos his hair and then skips conditioner completely." --Jay Leno #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

You know what they found the last time Bush had a colonoscopy? (His Head)

"Tomorrow, President Bush will undergo a routine colonoscopy. You know what they found the last time Bush had a colonoscopy? His head." --Jay Leno

"While he is under, they will temporarily transfer power to Dick Cheney. Well, good luck getting that power back. By noon tomorrow, he will have invaded Iran, Syria and Malibu." --Jay Leno #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans