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Friday, March 18, 2022

1001 Ways to Make America Great and Other Random Thoughts (poem)




https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 


Awards:
International Poet of Merit
Shakespeare Trophy of Excellence


1001 Ways to Make America Great

and Other Random Thoughts 


1-535. Have every member of congress Democrat,

Republican, Independent and extraterrestrial

(I’m looking at you Marjorie Taylor Greene) resign

immediately.

536. F*** the military industrial complex. (According

to Tuli this is NOT a pacifist act. I apologize.)

537. Stop trying to overthrow the government

of Iran.

538. Stop trying to overthrow the government

of Guatemala.

539. Stop trying to overthrow the government

of Chile.

540. Stop trying to overthrow the government

of Syria.

541. Stop trying to overthrow the government

of Cuba.

542. Stop trying to overthrow the government

of the Dominican Republic.

543. Stop trying to overthrow the government

of Libya.

 544. Stop trying to overthrow the government

of Honduras.

545. Stop trying to overthrow the government

of Venezuela.

546. Stop trying…

547. Pardon Edward Snowden.

548. Pardon Steven Donziger.

549. Pardon Julian Assange.

550. The fact that after 58 years exactly, we still

don’t know the truth about who killed our president

John F. Kennedy.

551. Prosecute the war criminal George W. Bush.

552. Prosecute the war criminal Dick Cheney.

553. Bring back the guillotine.

554. Legalize drugs everywhere.

555. Free healthcare.

556. Free college.

557. Free trade schools.

558. Free cable.

559. Never unite behind the lesser evil.

560. Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers.

561. Eat Elon Musk.

562. Eat Bill Gates.

563. Eat Jeff Bezos.

564. Eat the rich.

565. Tax the Cayman Islands.

566. Abolish the draft (again) by abolishing poverty.

567. Actually abolish poverty.

568. Feed the hungry.

569. Starve the rich.

570. Change Columbus Day to Sorry We Stole

YOUR Country and Murdered Your Children Day.

571. Abolish slavery (Again).

572. #corporatemediatoiletflush

573. Stop watching CNN.

574. Stop watching MSNBC.

575. Stop watching Fox.

576. Stop drilling for oil on sacred burial grounds.

577. No more democrats.

578. No more republicans.

579. Fly all flags at half mast until God forgives us.

580. A spoonful of sugar.

581. Early morning blow-jobs.

582. Early afternoon cunnilingus.

583. To call you a goddess is an understatement.

584. Paying a livable wage.

585. Every other Wednesday. Free pie.

586. Invent grass that cuts itself.

587. Scooby-Doo, where are you?

588. Dig up Uncle Walt and ask him to read to us.

589. Dig up Ginsberg so he can Howl for us.

590. Dig up Kerouac and ask him to drive us to

the five and dime.

591. Learn to talk with your penis.

592. Learn to talk with your vagina.

593. Get thee to a nunnery.

594. Stop bombing Iraq.

595. Stop bombing Syria.

596. Stop bombing Somalia.

597. Stop bombing Afghanistan

598. Stop bombing Pakistan.

599. Stop bombing Libya.

600. Stop bombing Yemen.

601. Stop building bombs and use the extra

money to buy Girl Scout cookies.

602. Donate bomb money to the Salvation

Army.

603. Start asking the question: Are We Next?

604. At least once a day, stop and give thanks

to the veterans of the 500 year war against

colonialism, like Sitting Bull, Geronimo

and Crazy Horse.

605. Educate the children on critical race theory

and the films of Red Skelton.

606. Make Anderson, Indiana the new capital

of America.

607. More LSD, less gunpowder.

608. Start each new day with a song.

609. Laugh more than 17 times a day.

610. Be multi-orgasmic.

611. Be a gentleman, not a prude.

612. Learn to play a musical instrument.

613. Mother earth is dying and calls for an

ambulance and is put on hold.

614. Dig up Bukowski and ask him who he likes

for the sixth race at Santa Anita.

615. Take the Pentagon budget, and go

to Las Vegas and place it all on Red.

616. Take the Pentagon budget, and go

to Atlantic City and place it all on Black.

617. Let’s Go Brandon!

618. Prosecute the war criminal Condoleezza Rice.

619. Prosecute the war criminal Colin Powell.

620. Prosecute the war criminal Donald Rumsfeld.

621. Rent from a landlord whose really into anal.

622. Eat Wal-Mart.

623. Build your own penis-shaped rocket

and fly it to Baltimore.

624. Be kinder.

625. Be gentler.

626. Blow kisses at butterflies.

627. Raise a good man.

628. Raise a good woman.

629. Raise a good self.

630. Do all you can to avoid a zombie apocalypse.

631. Leap tall buildings in a single bound.

632. If Jesus did indeed take a whip to the

exploiters in the temple, it had to be because

that was the only language they understood.

633. Believe in justice.

634. Write a poem.

635. Read a poem.

636. Remember that acquiescence to injustice

is moral, intellectual and spiritual death.

637. Televise the revolution.

638. Shine like the moon and the stars and the sun.

639. Realize that capitalism was born of theft

and cruelty, including $15 Trillion of “free capital”

created by enslaving generations upon generations

of the African race. 

640. Realize you’ve been lied to.

641. Have you tried voting?

642. Start a third political party.

643. Start a fourth political party.

644. Start a fifth political party.

645. Do not stay pacified.

646. Obedience is not a virtue. 

647. "Behold, I give unto you power to tread

on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power

of the enemy." -Luke 10:19

648. Just say NO to global dominance.

649. Just say NO to military occupations.

650. Never write or read or listen to what they

tell you.

651. Tell the senate Parliamentarian that they can

go FUCK themselves.

652. The easiest book to read on planet Earth is

a book called Ethical Capitalism because it has

no pages.

653. Never try to hide your weirdness.

654. Create spice rubs to put on the rich

to add flavor.

655. Have delusions of grandeur.

656. Start with believing better is possible.

657. Realize that capitalists are quickly and

unashamedly destroying all life on our planet

in their orgasms of greed.

658. The means of production aren’t going

to seize themselves.

659. The rich don’t work hard. You do.

660. Drink 9 beers and tell them what you really

think.

661. Realizing that your family is four missed

meals away from Revolution.

662. Workers deserve it all! ...every fucking thing.

663. Make billionaires hold their breath

while they count their money.

664. Lose your fear.

665. Vote Third Party.

666.

667. Don’t let the oligarchs feed on you

or those you love.

668. Enemies arrive by limousine.

669. Put an end to 9 year olds having to set up

lemonade stands to cure their brain cancer.

670. Be kinder to animals.

671. Elton John puns.

672. Tell censorship to go fuck itself.

673. Throwing a perfect spiral.

674. A vigorous and thorough understanding

of the care and maintenance of a guillotine.

675. The most basic form of mind control

is repetition.

676. Turning the whip on your oppressors. 

677. After we burn the planet to the ground,

maybe some rich folks can survive

in outer space.

678. Say NO to the Thought Police.

679. What fault of mine most nearly resembles

the one I am about to criticize? --Marcus Aurelius

680. Finally realize that freedom

is the greater good.

681. Has a billionaire told you lately that you

are poor because you are lazy and that you

just don’t work hard enough?

682. Realize that the interest of billionaires

and your interests are NOT the same. Take as

long as you need to think about this.

683. Make sure that there is always a joint within

reach.

684. Make sure that you are never the smartest

person in the room.

685. Start every prayer with the words, Thank You,

and fucking mean it.

686. Soylent Green Is People!

687. Create a world where the people command

and the government obeys. 

688. Avoid their slaughterhouses.

689. I was told that there would be No Math.

690. Wake Up!

691. Pay Attention. For fuck’s sake, it’s the least

you can do.

692. Make sure that you never lack female

supervision.

693. Realize that you are being controlled by

a smiley-faced serial killer who drops 500 pound

bombs on women and children.

694. Never try to change the system from the

inside. It NEVER fucking works.

695. Take your comedians seriously for they are

the real truth-tellers.

696. Be able to learn, unlearn and relearn.

697. Realize that the media’s sole purpose is to

lie to you on behalf of the ruling class.

698. If you vote for the lesser of two evils, you are

still left with evil after the votes are counted.

699. If it can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves

to be destroyed by the truth.

700. The Tramp may have been right all along.

Love is enough to get everything done.

701. It’s all been about keeping you in line.

702. Always remember that we outnumber

the oligarchs 100,000 to 1.

703. A bi-sexual Superman.

704. Never go gentle into that good night.

705. Make Oligarch compost. It makes for

some really juicy tomatoes. Perfect for stew.

706. Follow me for more recipes.

707. Epstein did NOT kill himself.

708. Try for War Crimes the man who dropped

100,000 bombs, including depleted uranium

and white phosphorus, killing thousands of

innocent women and children in eight different

countries. The man is Barack Obama.

709. The longer you comply, the worse it’s going

to get.

710. Democrats and Republicans. A plague

on both their houses.

711. Is there a war on drugs or a war against

the competition?

712. Realize that it’s NOT normal for 10 people

to own the entire world and do something about it.

713. Make yourself a revolutionary.

They will hate that.

714. Babe Ruth slept here.

715. Realize that being poor destroys you on

a molecular level and demand your fair share. 

716. The feeling you have when you realize that

politicians give the War Machine $10 Trillion for

bombs and another $10 Trillion to help their rich

friends on Wall Street, but they have NOTHING

for your child’s life saving medicine.

717. Realizing that the taxes they take from your

paychecks are being used to murder children all

over the world and that sometimes the children

don’t die right away. They may receive third degree

burns over 80% of their bodies, or have their legs

and arms blown off, and it may take them days

or even weeks to die. And when those children

do finally die, they die SCREAMING. Can you

hear them? I can.

718. The realization that while you slept, the rich

spent the entire night thinking about how to fuck

over you and fuck over everyone you LOVE.

And before you have had your morning coffee,

they have put their ideas into practice. Can you

feel it? I can.

719. Make worker compensation and wages

match worker productivity.

720. Your SOUL is telling you that something

is terribly wrong with what they are doing to you.

Right? Do you feel it? I’m feeling it.

721. Glory holes.

722. I’m trying to help you.

723. My street address.

724. Apes together strong.

725. The Panama Papers.

726. Don’t panic. Organize!

727. I fucking told you so.

728. Realizing that all BIG PHARMA had to do to

make BILLIONS in profits is to let a few thousand

children die and bribe a few hundred politicians.

729. Imagine yourself as David picking up a stone

against Goliath.

730. Thousands line up for food banks as the

Stock Market hits an all-time high.

731. Realizing that the only thing your government

is generous with, is the amount of bombs it drops

on the defenseless.

732. New Game Show: We hang the rich by their

feet from the closest tree and beat them with sticks

until their wealth is redistributed.

733. Corporations telling you that Unions will do

nothing to help you, while spending millions to

discourage you from joining their ranks. Get

the picture?

734. For every dollar you make, the boss makes

365. Let that sink in.

735. Remember you give your literal blood,

sweat and tears, and sometimes your very life

at your job. In return your boss pays you as little

as they can get away with. Let that sink in.

736. Mr. Hill says, “Workers of the world awaken.

Break your chains. Demand your rights.”

737. “Shall you kneel in deep submission from

your cradle to your grave?”

738. “Is the height of your ambition to be a

good and willing slave?”

739. I need you to be serious for a minute.

740. If you worked 50 hours a week at minimum

wage, guess where you could afford to live in the

United States of America? The answer is nowhere.

How does that make you feel?

741. A middle class existence was stolen from you

and they did it in broad daylight. 

742. Be careful of isms. They determine who gets

paid and who starves to death.

743. Peace takes brains and a well armed

proletariat.

744. Think of Jesus with a bull-whip, beating the

ever-loving shit out of the temple’s most greedy

little bastards. I bet it was joyous to see.

745. A picture of a frog walking up to a guillotine

with a billionaire in chains and saying,

“Hippity Hoppity. It’s time for Chippity Choppity.”

746. The most basic form of mind control

is repetition.

747. 50 years of tax cuts for the rich never trickled

down to us peasants. Are you surprised?

They aren’t.

748. We met at a very strange time in our lives.

749. Our rulers laugh in our faces as we start a

civil war instead of a revolution.

750. They want you demoralized, desperate and full

of anxiety, hypnotized by television and numbed

by drugs and alcohol. And if you dare get out of line,

men armed to the teeth and at their command,

will be at your door to set you straight.

751. You have more in common with Iraqi civilians

than with American billionaires.

752. The US military spent $2 Trillion on a fighter jet

that couldn’t fly, meanwhile 1 in 6 American children

live in poverty.

753. If an Amazon worker takes 45 seconds to

empty his piss bottle, Jeff Bezos feels a massive

disturbance in The Force.

754. If you are a worker and wonder if the glass

is half empty or half full, you can be sure that

what’s actually in the glass is piss.

755. Remember that 2,995 Americans died on

9/11/2001 and that 1,497,223 innocent Iraqis died

for something they didn’t do. 

756. Why is no one talking about shutting down

non-essential wars?

757. Go figure. Despite having 5,000 nuclear

missiles, 323 battleships and submarines and

12,000 military aircraft the United States still

suffers from penis envy.

758. A man who owns a yacht that fits inside

another yacht tries his best to convince you

that someone working in a bean field in

100 degree heat for $24 a day is stealing

your job and is the reason that you can’t

afford nice things or a better life. 

759. There is so much to unlearn.

760. Are you going to believe your lying eyes?

761. In the last 40 years CEO pay has increased

1,000% while worker pay has increased 12%.

No, I’m NOT kidding.

762. I am changing the things I cannot accept.

763. Tired of my only two choices being RED

warmongering corporatist or BLUE warmongering

corporatist.

764. Wondering why it’s OK for a talk show host

to dance with a War Criminal who killed a million

innocent women and children? It WAS quite a

performance. Everyone in the audience who

recently had a lobotomy cheered.

765. After being elected the politician slaps you

across the face and tells you he’s altering the

deal he made for your vote. He thinks that

you’ll take nothing and like it. Will you?

766. Cat lovers against white supremacy.

767. Are we the shithole country?

768. Workers rejoice when their boss rides a rocket

into space and they can finally go to the bathroom.

769. Declare a mistrial and give the whole country

a Big Giant Do-over.

770. Consult Magic 8 Ball: Ask if the USA will ever

truly respect its workers? Turn the Ball Over.

Answer: Outlook is Bah-LEAK!

771. Find a place where free thinking isn’t strictly

forbidden and stay there.

772. Avoid divide & conquer mechanisms.

773. Find the true enemy and fight him.

774. Being content that evil, greedy, soulless

oligarchs are dropping bombs on helpless people

is no way to go through life, son.

775. Everything told you by the Ruling Predator

Class is a LIE.

776. Realizing that when you have 6 year olds

selling lemonade on the street corner to help pay

for their mom’s breast cancer surgery that you are

living in a FAILED state.

777. Realizing that when your government sends

journalists to prison for reporting government

criminal activity that you are being ruled

by criminals.

778. Tuition-free public universities and colleges

were free up until the Vietnam War.

779. Teach Peace.

780. Dolly Parton for President.

781. Choices. The world’s 3 richest men spending

10 minutes in space instead of ending

homelessness. 

782. Realizing that when the elites tell you to use

proper channels when you want to change things,

that they own all the channels. Every fucking

single one.

783. Remember to keep your

lizard overlords happy.

784. Always leave a big tip at all Marxist pizzerias.

785. Democrats and Republicans are the enemies

of peace and enemies of the working class.

786. Train horses and cows to Unionize.

787. Vote blue no matter who, Fuck You.

788. Realizing that when you get a one dollar an

hour raise it is not a Blessing from The Lord!

789. If you cut open a tomato and inside the tomato

you see the face of Satan, just pour Holy Water

over it. You’ll be fine.

790. Seeing Ted Cruz on TV and choking back

a vomit.

791. How do you feel when during a deadly

pandemic that killed nearly a million people,

your rulers crunched the numbers and decided

that keeping you alive was a poor return on

their investment.

792. Realizing that when a Great Dane sniffs

another Great Dane’s asshole, that the dog

gets more truth than if a human watches ten

years of Rachel Maddow, Chris Cuomo

or Sean Hannity.

793. Did you ever notice that a CEO can make

3,000 times more than their average employee,

yet no one ever blames the high cost of food on

the CEO’s obscene salary? They instead blame

the workers who make 9 bucks an hour.

794. When you realize that, to a capitalist, trees

have no value until they are destroyed.

795. When billionaires wonder who is responsible

for children going hungry, hand them a mirror.

796. The richest man on earth makes more than

$2,000 every single second.

797. Imagine if climate change is a Giant Hoax

and we end up creating a Better World for Nothing? 

798.  Realizing that the USA has around 900

military bases in 70 countries.

799. Since the year 2000 the USA has spent more

than $30 million an hour on war. Not on educating

our children and grandchildren, Not on building

roads and bridges, Not on healthcare. 

800. The mainstream media spent as much time

in one day reporting on Jeff Bezos’ four minute

space flight, than they did reporting on the climate

crisis in the entire year of 2020.

801. When it comes to the War on Drugs, I am

on the side of drugs.

802. Comparing democrats and republicans is like

trying to tell the difference between trash

and garbage.

803. A Vietnamese rice farmer rolls his eyes and

laughs while our military industrial complex builds

a $2 Trillion fighter plane that won’t fly.

804. I only leave my friends behind if they don’t

dance and if they don’t dance, well they’re

no friends of mine.

805. Keep calm and blame Russian Bots.

806. Find a drug that’s against Wars. And take it.

Often.

807. Don’t eat the food prepared in the Wall Street

kitchen.

808. Debs was right. Don’t be a deserter of your

class and your own worst enemy.

809. The lessons learned from Vietnam, Iraq and

Afghanistan have been ignored. 

810. It’s a big club and you ain’t in it. Translation.

They don’t give a Fuck about you. Never did.

Never will.

811. Mr. Zinn was correct. Civil obedience is

THE problem.

812. Nothing to see here. The president’s son sells

a painting to an anonymous man for $800,000.

813. Remember Gary Webb.

814. How did billionaires become billionaires?

By the merciless, cold-blooded and vicious

exploitation of the working class. 

815. Native Americans lived and thrived in this

country for thousands of years. It took 300 years

for us to burn it to the ground.

816. This is the opposite of progress.

CEO-to-worker pay ratio in 1960: 20-1.

CEO-to-worker pay ratio in 1990: 65-1.

CEO-to-worker pay ratio in 2020: 350-1.

817. Realizing that when the elites rig the

system so people need to work so many

hours till their bodies and minds are destroyed,

that they have committed an act of violence

on you.

818. Realizing that both the red and blue

candidates have the exact same policy on China,

Russia, Iran, Iraq, Israel, Palestine, for-profit

healthcare, selling weapons to Saudi Arabia,

Wall Street criminals, Venezuela, the military

industrial complex and militarizing the police.

819. Einstein, in one of his brighter moments,

came to the realization that capitalism was the

real source of evil in this world.

820. End corporate welfare.

821. Send Seal Team 6 to collect unpaid taxes

from the rich.

822. Strip naked and beg almighty God for

forgiveness for staging military coups in Latin

American countries that resulted in the deaths

of more than a million human beings including

women and children, with special attention to

Guatemala, Haiti (twice), Honduras,

El Salvador, Nicaragua, Panama, the

Dominican Republic, Venezuela, Bolivia (twice),

Chile, Brazil and Argentina.

823. When you “steal baby formula” it is not theft.

It’s feeding a baby.

824. You have the power to bring them to their

knees.

825. Wild card, bitches!

826. In several schools in America there are

no desks or books for some students, no running

water to wash your hands or flush the toilets while

a pandemic rages all around us. Oh, and no school

nurse. Add shitty pay to the mix, and we see just

how much we appreciate our teachers. Oh, and

those school supplies that you need for today’s

lesson, those come out of your own pocket.

Have a wonderful day. Oh, there will be an

active shooter drill in 45 minutes. Be sure to

remember to lock those doors.

827. Instead of raising your wages they decide that

working you to death is preferable.

828. Will you free my Palestine?

829. The rich are only rich because of your

HARD work.

830. Capitalism is when the health insurance

“providers” say you don’t really need the medicine

your doctor says that you really need.

831. Country ham, 2 eggs over medium,

hash browns with tomato and onion, jalapeno

peppers on the side, coffee with cream, large

tomato juice.

832. If the minimum wage had increased at the

rate of productivity since 1960, it would be $23

an hour instead of $7.25. I’m not a math surgeon,

but I figure in a 40 year career it means that

politicians and the elite stole more than

$1.2 Million right out of your pocket. Can you hear

them laughing at you? By the way, they stole that

money from everyone you love too.

833. The paradise of the rich is made out of the

hell of the poor. --Victor Hugo

834. They’re too busy to care about you. They’ve

got bombs to drop and your children to enslave.

835. Make your philosophy, kindness. Simple

kindness.

836. The most basic form of mind control

is repetition.

837. Imagine if the three richest men on the planet

decided to feed hungry children rather than build

penis-shaped rockets to go into space.

838. You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not

the only one.

839. Hunter Biden sells a “painting” for $500,000.

How much is it without the frame?

840. The elites are starting to fear us. It is a

good thing.

841. Realizing the lesson of capitalism is how to

screw over your fellow man and smile while

you're doing it.

842. Texas freezes over and their governor says

that Texans would rather freeze to death than

have the government run their ‘lectricity.

843. A billionaire offered a $100 Million prize

for whoever invents the best carbon capture

technology. God waits impatiently for a check

for her invention of forests.

844. Some folks think that Green Energy is fragile?

Solar Panels have been in Outer Fucking Space

for 20 years where the temperature is just north

of 500 degrees below zero. Do we have frozen

men and women on the International Space

Station and no one told me?

845. Politicians are not now, nor have ever

been your friend.

846. You are legally allowed to get high in

any bathroom that requires a key to enter.

847. No brunch until socialism.

848. Colin Kaepernick was right.

849. Kitty won’t follow your fucking orders.

850. How does a General Strike sound?

851. Please wait patiently for the failure

of the system.

852. Which do you fear more? Being attacked

by a terrorist or the insurance man turning you

down for a life saving operation?

853. Selling points of military recruiters: guaranteed

housing, free education, a job guarantee and free

healthcare. Now if we can only find a way to provide

these things for the people without the guns and

bombs and stuff.

854. Become ungovernable.

855. Been waiting a fuck long time for Joe Biden

to make America socialist like the republicans

said he would. Still waiting. Still waiting. Fucking

liars.

856. Rising poverty and homelessness.

Politicians don’t care. Income inequality.

Politicians don’t care. No healthcare, families

go bankrupt. Politicians don’t care. The planet

burns. Politicians don’t care. Corporate

“donations.” Politicians. Now you’re talking!

857. Germany is ashamed of the Swastika.

Americans are not ashamed of the confederacy.

858. Immigrants don’t keep your wages low.

Your bosses do.

859. The perfect amount of Nazi friends to have

is ZERO.

860. Ten years later the water in Flint, Michigan

is still full of poison. Three presidents did

NOTHING to Help.

Absolutely Nothing.

861. She bought a stripper pole with her stimulus

check. God, I love that woman.

862. No more meth at this location.

863. A 78 year old man with dementia manages

to fall up the stairs to Air Force One.

864. President fires staffers because they smoked

a joint in college while his son takes another hit

off his panther-shaped crack pipe.

865. The Assange prosecution relied on false

testimony from a diagnosed sociopath and

convicted child molestor.

866. Self-made billionaires don’t exist and I’m tired

of pretending that they do.

867. The richest 1% will exploit you into extinction.

868. Burn, Baby Burn.

869. The abyss isn’t staring at you, it’s staring

at the hot chick in the tank top.

870. Do you reject Satan and all his evils?

871. Lick the back of it like a stamp.

872. If funding wars were strip clubs, congress

would never stop “making it rain.”

873. Joe Biden gives Kurt Cobain’s hair a good

long sniff to see if it does indeed smell like teen

spirit.

874. The police in Florida just arrested a 90 year

old man. The charge. He was feeding the hungry.

875. How long will this peyote last? No really?

How long?

876. We are ready to take the whip from

the billionaires.

877. When your life and everything you stand for,

believe in, love and worship goes against

community standards.

878. The law requires that I answer No

to that question.

879. Time for porn.

880.

881. Your government is doing this on purpose.

882. It isn’t low-skilled labor. It’s low-waged labor.

883. Do you actually want to live in a society where

human life has value?

884. 17 days of sunshine contain the same amount

of energy as exist in all the planet’s reserves of oil,

coal and natural gas.

885. Socialism will NOT take your hard-earned

money. That belongs to your boss.

886. This is the coldest summer of the rest

of your life.

887. If your water tastes like dirt, just add lemon.

888. More porn.

889. The ocean is on fire again.

890. A family watches a loved one in serious

agony, but instead of immediately calling an

ambulance to try and get them to a hospital,

they ask permission to make the call because

ambulances are expensive.

891. You need coolin’, baby I’m not foolin’.

892. Dear young folks, sorry for destroying

the environment.

893. The real horror movie is your own fucking

government. If you don’t believe me ask the people

we are dropping bombs on right fucking now.

894. In between changing his panty hose,

J. Edgar Hoover believed Martin Luther King

to be a communist. Hoover was so racist he

wouldn’t even wear a black bra.

895. Years of Academy training wasted!

896. Even robots refuse to work for

minimum wage.

897. On May 1, 1886, 300,000 workers in 15,000

businesses across the USA walked off their jobs,

demanding an 8 hour work day.

898. Are you strong enough to withstand

the storm?

899. Fuck You. Fuck Me. Fuck Washington, D.C.

900. A human being remains conscious for

20 seconds after being decapitated. 

901. Miles read my stuff and called me a real

motherfucker. I hope he meant it.

902. Now would be a good time to take the day

off work and brush up on your apocalypse skills.

903. I dream of dancing on the ashes of

the ruling class.

904. People working 40 hours a week should

not live in poverty.

905. Billionaires in penis-shaped spaceships fly in

outer space. Oooopppsss. My finger accidentally

hits the fire missile switch. Sorry, not sorry.

906. It must be tough to be a billionaire. I mean,

have you ever tried living on $25,000 a day?

907. When you’re stirring up some shit, is it best

to stir clockwise or counter-clockwise? My advice.

Use a blender.

908. They would burn our very souls to the ground

just to rule over the ashes.

909. The beginning is near. Prepare yourself.

910. Politicians follow the people who allow them

to be their worst selves.

911. In the eight years he was president, 95%

of all the wealth that was generated in the entire

country, went straight into the pockets of the

Wealthiest 1%. That’s FAILURE, no matter

which way you look at it. Thanks, Obama.

912. A young man carries an AR-15 rifle to a

protest chanting, “I will not live in fear.” What

he’s afraid of: short women, tall women, two

suspicious moles on his back, Jewish

people, science, brown people, gay marriage,

black people, books, windmill cancer, unions,

peaceful protests, unicorns, the vulnerable, etc.

913. Mar-a-Lago will be bulldozed to make room

for a giant statue of Colin Kaepernick.

914. To make 1 pound of honey 1,000 bumble

bees have to travel more than 100,000 miles

and kiss 4 million flowers. They do all this for free.

They only ask that we not poison them. Seems

like a fair trade to me.

915. Has a cat ever graduated from obedience

school?

916. The United States gives Israel $11 million

a day. Israel has free healthcare and college.

The U.S. has neither because the politicians

tell us we can’t afford it.

917. Health Insurance CEO’s, who make $25

Million in salary and bonuses, try to explain to

you why YOU can’t afford to be alive.

918. If you barbeque a unicorn with fresh pineapple

and a dash of honey it is really fucking delicious.

919. Why don’t we ever see faith healers

at hospitals?

920. If your employees make more on

unemployment you’re not a job creator,

you’re a wage stealer.

921. Wildfires, earthquakes, hurricanes and floods.

That’s just nature’s way of claiming justice for

our crimes against it.

922. How does a three-legged chicken taste?

I don’t know, I’ve never been able to catch one.

Thanks, Buddy.

923. Instead of finding out my fucking carbon

footprint, how about I just promise not to throw trash

out my car window and never spill 6 million gallons

of oil into the Gulf of Mexico.

924. There is no Planet B.

925. Your refusal to ignore the corporate media

makes all war possible.

926. We built this city not on rock and roll,

but on genocide, slavery and witch burning

Puritan psychopaths. Rock and roll would

have been better, I think.

927. Cotton is responsible for more than 20%

of all pesticide use. The hemp plant can do

everything cotton can do, and can grow without

pesticides using its natural defenses against

harmful plants and nasty bugs. Plus, if you know

what you’re doing you can smoke it and get

High as F***.

928. Has a bee ever mistaken you for a flower?

929. 195 mass shootings in 129 days so far this

year. Politicians solution. Let's make it easier to

buy guns. 

930. Fomenting discord since 1977.

931. Top Ten Pharma CEO pay comes out to

$30 Million a year plus stock options. Meanwhile

30% of diabetics in the United States have to ration

their insulin to stay alive.

932. Never ever punch down. God hates it when

you do that.

933. I want The Avengers to be real and kick

the ever-loving shit out of tax dodging billionaires.

934. They didn’t steal slaves. They stole poets,

doctors, teachers, scientists, farmers, fishermen,

mothers, fathers, sons and daughters and then

made them slaves. 

935. Still riding that train high on cocaine.

936. Believe we are going to win. Believe a better

world is possible and make it happen. Today.

This minute. Don’t take no for an answer.

937. They are all guilty as Fuck.

938. A big high five and fist bump to the slaves

that took machetes and hacked their slave masters

to tiny bits. Well done. 

939. If the Democrats hate Trump so much then

why are they doing the exact same things that got

him elected in the first place?

940. I was sexually molested by a police officer

in 1996.

941. A little poem for ya. Rich men who hoard,

end up on Forbes.

942. A black man in a jail in Milwaukee wasn’t given

water for seven days. He died. A white man in jail

was moved to a better jail in Virginia because

he wanted to be served organic food. This is why

Kaepernick took a knee you bastards.

943. George Washington’s wooden teeth weren’t

wooden at all. He simply had a set of dentures

made by pulling out the teeth of his slaves until

he found the teeth he liked best. The Father of

Our Country, ladies and gentlemen!

944. Gardening is a revolutionary act.

945. #Forcethevote

946. If your voice held no power they wouldn’t

try to silence you.

947. Every step, every breath we take must be

to destroy the machines that control us.

948. How many billionaires do we have to eat,

do you think, before they realize we are serious?

One, two, ten?

949. At the Bear River Massacre during the

Civil War, American soldiers murdered 442

Shoshone men, women and children. This is

NOT taught in any classroom. 

950. Live music is better. Bumper stickers should

be issued.

951. Your empire has no conscience.

952. When they told you that if you work hard

the company will share its prosperity with you,

did you believe them? Stupid fucker.

953. Now is indeed the time of monsters.

954. If there is even one child living on the street

with an empty belly, we have no room for an

$800 Billion military budget.

955. Do you not understand how feudalism works?

956. Man, that Orwell guy really called it, didn’t he?

957. “Bomb without an air force and you’re a

horrible, evil terrorist. Bomb with an air force

and you won’t even make the news.”

--Caitlin Johnstone

958. Long story short, I’m not allowed to sunbathe

on my roof anymore. 

959. The last lynching of a black man in the

United States was in 1985.

960. Thoughts and prayers.

961. Know your fallacies.

962. Resistance is NOT futile. 

963. Live long and prosper.

964. Hell NO we won’t go.

965. Power to the People.

966. I can’t breathe.

967. You know, the thing.

968. New York governor wins Emmy for letting

15,000 grandmas and grandpas die of Covid in

nursing homes. Maybe he thought that those

refrigerated trucks wouldn’t fill themselves?

969. It takes a lot of propaganda to make

us this stupid.

970. When Jeffrey Epstein “killed himself” I wonder

if Bill Gates was sorry that he lost his rock, his soft

shoulder to cry on, his buddy who he could confess

his troubles to?

971. In the pyramid of the capitalist system where

do you see yourself?

972. Hello. Is it me you're looking for?

973. Will St. Peter let you in if your password and

username don’t match?

974. I finally found Jesus. He was hiding behind

the curtains. 

975. Question. Disobey. Dismantle.

976. If I get nervous can I imagine

you in your underwear?

977. For legal purposes, this is a joke.

978. Loading a $100,000 bomb on a $1 Trillion

aircraft to kill humans in Somalia who earn

$3 a day. Make it make sense.

979. The Queen of England can move

in any direction.

980. The most basic form of mind control

is repetition.

981. Hi. My name is Kirsten Sinema. I make

15 thousand dollars a month. I just gave a big

thumbs down on giving you a livable wage.

My phone number is 202-224-4521.

982. Why do I find it easy to believe that

Billionaires sit around all day thinking of

ways to steal even more from me and

everyone that I love?

983. “Poverty is the parent of revolution

and crime.” --Aristotle

984. America is stolen land that was built by people

who were stolen from their land.

985. America has been at war 223 out of the

240 years since 1776. Maybe we just like to kill

things. I don’t think God is amused.

986. If attacked, fake orgasm. (Alligator mating

season only)

987. Bush dropped 75,000 bombs on 5 countries.

Obama dropped more than 100,000 bombs

on 8 countries. Trump dropped 50,000 bombs

in his first year as president. That’s around

120 a day. So around every 10 minutes

we are killing innocent women and children

in your name. But who's counting?

988. On a quiet day I can hear the revolution

breathing.

989. Refuse to buy what they are selling.

990. 3% of U.S. military spending could

end starvation on earth.

991. If billionaires lose all their money in

the stock market, it will only take them

138,014,223 hours to make their first billion

back if they work at minimum wage.

992. Their power over you is an illusion. 

993. I don’t want a president that wears a

$7,000 Rolex. I want a president who wears

mittens given to him by a school teacher.

994. Can’t someone else just do it? No, it has

to be YOU.

995. What America leads the world in: gun violence,

billionaires, Covid deaths, prescription drug prices,

people in prison, military spending, student debt,

medical bankruptcies, and deaths from lack of

health insurance. Other than that, we’re fine.

Everything’s great.

996. “There is only one way to avoid criticism:

do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” --Aristotle

997. There is love to be found in this world.

998. Baby Yoda show!

999. Think! It’s not illegal yet. It’s just strongly

frowned upon.

1000. All we are saying is give peace a chance.

1001. For Tuli. God, you are missed.

Thank you for everything that you did for me.

Rest in POWER. Amen.



*revisions made after every single Guinness, martini, wine or joint. (or mushrooms, etc.)


#poety #Orwell #Aristotle #Bush #Cheney #Trump #Obama

#MilitaryIndustrialComplex #GeorgeWashington #slavery

#NativeAmericans #StarWars #God #unicorns #Kaepernick

#MinimumWage #incomeinequality #wagestealers

#classwarfare #MLK #Flint #climatechange #Biden

#LetsGoBrandon #capitalism #socialism #dogs #cats

#Einstein #Peace




















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