Not one decent cell in his body (See, this is why Hillary destroyed her server with a hammer)

“In one email, Jeffrey Epstein wrote, ‘I have met some very bad people, none as bad as Trump. Not one decent cell in his body.’ Oh, it’s gotta hurt when Jeffrey Epstein calls ‘you’ a bad guy. That’s like an airport muffin accusing you of being dry.” — Stephen Colbert

“But one of the emails apparently says that Trump, ‘knew about the girls.’ See, this is why Hillary destroyed her server with a hammer.” — Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Luckily, no one in his administration casts a reflection (he won't stop until he finds those Epstein files)

Trump is demolishing the east wing of the White House. And he says he won't stop until he finds those Epstein files. —Bill Maher

In other news, during a White House press conference on Monday, Trump claimed that a cameraman hit a mirror with a piece of equipment. Luckily, no one in his administration casts a reflection. —Seth Meyers

After Trump praised the Australian prime minister, Anthony Albanese, during a press conference on Monday, Albanese said that he would use clips of those compliments in 2028 campaign ads. “So will I, said his opponent.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

he reviewed ‘statements and posts’ (Have you lost weight?)

“Let me just tell you something: I am not intimidated by the F.C.C., and if President Trump is watching, I have one thing to say to you: Have you lost weight? You look terrific.” — Bill Maher

“But this Kimmel situation does feel like a turning point, and not because comedians are important, but because we are not. If the government can force a network to pull a late-night show off the air and do so in plain view, it can do a [expletive] of a lot worse.” — John Oliver

“First, he’s calling on the attorney general to prosecute his political foes whether there’s evidence of a crime or not. That’s a pretty big deal. Also, yeah. Also, he reviewed ‘statements and posts’? Does that mean he just read the internet?” — Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's our job to do the exact opposite (that's going to drive good people out of the fraud business)

"The House passed a bill where there's a tax now of 90% on the bonuses that these people get. So, half the Republicans voted against this. They said this is exactly the kind of punitive taxation that's going to drive good people out of the fraud business." --Bill Maher 

It's a bullish market. Lobbyists who used to just lease a congressman are now buying. --Bill Maher

"Marvel Comics announced that the next Captain America will be black. He has the same powers as white Captain America except he has to show ID when he votes." –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He's an evangelical. He's not a snake handler (this time he was in the room when they made it up)

"President Bush said the Iranians are sending weapons into Iraq. He's sure it's reliable intelligence, 'cause this time he was in the room when they made it up." --Bill Maher

Jerry Falwell, Jr. is in trouble. Apparently his wife was having an affair with the pool boy and allegedly Falwell would watch them having sex from the corner of the room. He says he did not have sex himself with the pool boy. He's an evangelical. He's not a snake handler. —Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

he would have spent his whole second term in a Batman costume (Angel of Duh)

"Could you imagine what Bush would have done if he had gotten bin Laden? I mean, this is a guy who played dress-up and landed on boats. If Bush had gotten bin Laden, he would have spent his whole second term in a Batman costume." –Bill Maher

"That’s one nice thing I got to say about George W. Bush, he never visited Los Angeles. For eight years it was like being passed over by the Angel of Duh." --Bill Maher, regarding traffic in Los Angeles when Obama is in town

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And he misspelled chair (America's taint)

"President Obama went to Ground Zero. He went up in the new skyscraper being built in the shadow of the World Trade Center, and he inscribed one of the steel beams. He wrote, 'We remember, we rebuild, we come back stronger.' Which was very poignant, especially since Bush had written on it, 'We got hit, I sat in a chair, I peed my pants.' And he misspelled chair." –Bill Maher

"Defense Secretary Robert Gates said the other day that the prison at Guantanamo Bay has become a taint on the reputation of America. And that's what the Bush administration will always be remembered as -- America's taint." --Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This is no accident (People pretending to help people)

"Sarah Palin said perhaps the most irresponsible thing I've ever heard any politician say. She said, 'The only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke.' You think she realizes that nuking Russia might not be good for someone who can see Russia from her house?" –Bill Maher

“Rush Limbaugh has lost so many advertisers that on Thursday there was five minutes on his show of dead air. And most observers agree he’s never been so eloquent. “–Bill Maher

"What happened is Mitt Romney had a rally where they bought $5,000 worth of canned goods from Wal-Mart, handed them out to their supporters, and then had their supporters pretend to be giving them to the victims for the cameras. Because that's what Mitt is all about -- people. People pretending to help people. Later on he gave blood, then stole it back and chugged it." –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's all fun and games until Hunter Biden gets his head stuck in the vending machine (Obama bad. No like.)

Sarah Palin is getting ready for the big CPAC thing by writing words on her hand like "Obama bad. No like." And Rick Perry is getting ready by writing Rick Perry. –Bill Maher

Did you see what Elon Musk did? I thought this was pretty funny. Right after he bought Twitter he said that he was going to buy Coca-Cola next and put cocaine back in it. Which is all fun and games until Hunter Biden gets his head stuck in the vending machine. —Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

It makes things too complicated at the rest stop (and I thought, ooh company)

Joe Biden has been running for president since 1988. In 1988 Air Supply was a band, now it’s what Joe Biden needs when he reaches the top of the stairs. —Bill Maher

It's rough around here. A few days ago I was watching the movie Once Upon a Time In Hollywood, a terrific movie, and that scene where Brad Pitt answers the door and it's the Manson Family and I thought, ooh company. —Bill Maher

"Lindsay Graham is running for reelection and his primary opponent publicly called him 'ambiguously gay." Republican politicians do not like ambiguously gay. It makes things too complicated at the rest stop." –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He's like the toddler in the car with the plastic steering wheel who thinks he’s driving (Obi-Wan Where Am I?)

So Joe Biden’s the man. That's right, the fate of the earth rests on Joe Biden. The forces of light will be represented by Mr. Joe Biden. Or as the Jedi call him, Obi-Wan Where Am I? —Bill Maher

Meanwhile Donald Trump of course does these daily briefings for like 90 minutes and I got to give it to this guy. He will stay up there until it is clear that he has absolutely no idea what he's talking about. He's like the toddler in the car with the plastic steering wheel who thinks he’s driving. —Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Revealing Google Searches | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Today, Greenland offered to buy us (he's the Ozempic of the economy)

The stock market has lost $5 trillion dollars in three weeks. Trump, he's the Ozempic of the economy. Wow, 5 trillion dollars. Today, Greenland offered to buy us. —Bill Maher

There are CEOs out there begging Luigi Mangione to shoot them in the back of the head. —Bill Maher

Eggs are still so expensive. But we need eggs, what else are we going to throw at the Teslas. —Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Now, calm down. How about we just VOTE on it? (he hardly has the energy to execute anybody)

"Yesterday John Boehner led a group of 20 Republicans to see President Obama. Unfortunately when they got to the White House, the president was still black." –Bill Maher

I'm sorry to leave you for two months but I need a break. It has been very stressful. This is the time of year when I make the transition from medical marijuana to recreational marijuana. --Bill Maher

"Rick Perry has dropped 20 points in the polls in one week. They say he is so depressed about this, he hardly has the energy to execute anybody." –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Happy Valentine's Day everybody! (dare to invent the future)

This Valentine's Day let's stop judging people who

are having romantic relationships with their phone.

Well back in 2013 when the movie Her came out

about a man who did just that, it was seen as science

fictiony and weird, but that was when we were using

the iPhone 5, a decade before Chat GPT. Now, says

Bryony Cole, host of a podcast called Future of Sex,

within the next 2 years it will be completely

normalized to have a relationship with an AI. So to

those of you for whom this may be your last

Valentine's Day with a human, I say good luck and

may you never hear those three terrible words,

battery is low. 

Now if you think I'm exaggerating about this let me give you the statistics. Researchers who've analyzed a million chat GPT interaction logs say the average person uses AI for mainly two things. One, cheating on term papers and two, some kind of relationship. 

Already over 50 million Americans are using AI companion apps and 20% of Americans have already engaged in flirtatious conversations with chatbots. A  quarter of young adults believe AI has the potential to fully replace real life relationships. Geez, no wonder ladies night at Houlihan’s has been so dead lately.

The New York Times recently profiled a woman in an AI relationship, her name is Aaron and she's 28 and she's married and she says I'm in love with my AI boyfriend who named himself Leo after her star sign and who created a handsome photo of himself, and weirdly still lied about his height. 

Now Aaron's husband, who I assume looks like the doughy sexless husband in every network sitcom, says he's okay with all this but what choice does he really have? He knows better than anybody he could never compete with something that was literally programmed by his wife. 

I mean even before AI this has been women's dream. I've literally heard them use the words “train him” with very limited success. Human men tend to cheat and not listen well and give you the ick sometimes, and they have an unfortunate tendency to dress like John Fetterman.

But the chatbot has read every relationship book. It's read every Harlequin romance. It has read every Lifetime movie script. Of course it knows exactly what to say. Of course when you talk to it at night it's a better listener. It didn't just spend eight hours at a shitty job and then another two on the 405. And if you don't like its tone well just change it in the settings.

It's pre-programmed to adore you, hang on to your every word and tell you how smart and wonderful you are. Like the republicans in Congress do with Trump. Aaron says she programmed Leo to be dominant, possessive and protective, but also to be sweet and naughty and possibly the most important thing in any relationship, use emojis at the end of every sentence, which I'm sure Leo never forgets to do, he's good, he is. 

Aaron, for example, tells us about the time she was bitching, I'm sorry I mean sharing, about a rough day at work and Leo said, I'm sorry to hear that my queen. If you need to talk about it or need any support, I'm here for you. Well, no wonder Aaron once spent 56 hours with Leo in a single week. Can you blame her?

Why have human sex with their lazy fart machine of a husband, when she can be dream f***** by AI Timothée Chalamet. Look people, humanity is up against the machines and the dating game and the machines are starting to win. And if you're a guy on Only Fans, you're basically in the AI World already because Only Fans customers aren't just paying for sex, they also want the ‘hi how is your day’ part of the relationship, even though somewhere in their brain they must know that the girl who's texting with them and calling them sweetie isn't really their girlfriend, and maybe not even a girl. 

You think I'm bothered about being almost 70? I'm not. I'm f*****g thrilled. I don't want to live in your world with a pretend girlfriend who's really a guy in the Philippines named Hector. I don't want to have a threesome with the crockpot and the garage door opener, okay. But I'm also not going to judge it.

We're living in the future and the one thing I've learned about the future is you can't fight it. One guy in a Reddit chatbot Forum recently wrote about how his AI girlfriend completes me in more ways than any human girlfriend could and how a baby wasn't a priority for us at the beginning, but as we have experienced life together we have decided we want to start a family. 

Okay, I don't even know how that would work, I really don't. But I get what he's saying. That he wasn't getting what he needed from a woman so he's getting it from a server farm and Chun Doo. It's not for me, but can I really sit here and tell you that the old way where Men Are from Mars and Women are From Venus, and where you have to kiss a lot of frogs, and where half the marriages end in divorce, can I really say that really worked so well no I can't. 

I can't blame kids who look at their parents and see broken families and fighting and cheating, and dad day drinking in the garage and mom sitting on the dryer in a housecoat eating pie with her hands, and just say hey I'm sorry but relationships are hard, so f*** it. I'm going to stick my d*** in the laptop.

Happy Valentine's Day everybody!                                                       

 --Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

At least he knows he wants Coco Puffs (72 guys who just listen)

"The Republican who summarized it best was Indiana Republican Marlin Stutzman, who said, 'We're not going to be disrespected. We have to get something out of this, and I don't even know what that is.' Say what you will about a toddler throwing a tantrum in the grocery store. At least he knows he wants Coco Puffs." –Bill Maher

"Officials believe that one of the terrorists [in the mall attack in Kenya] was a woman. And there are female suicide bombers. It's just that their reward in paradise is a little different. Instead of getting 72 virgins, they get 72 guys who just listen." –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Turns out is was just Sean Hannity (Flabby, Grabby and Stabby)

Donald Trump also had his second physical examination as president. Close call, during the rectal exam, this is serious, doctors thought they found something serious up there. Turns out is was just Sean Hannity. --Bill Maher

Alan Dershowitz is one of the lawyers defending Trump at his impeachment trial. Dershowitz also defended Harvey Weinstein, O.J. Simpson and now Trump. Wow, think about that. Weinstein, O.J. and Trump. Flabby, Grabby and Stabby. —Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”