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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Who among us hasn't had a couple of drinks and invaded Iraq? (he doesn't have to think all the time)





"President Bush is everywhere talking about his book and he's being very candid. In one interview, he said that he used to do stupid things while he was drunk. But think about it, who among us hasn't had a couple of drinks and invaded Iraq?" –David Letterman


"George W. Bush says he is glad to be out of the Oval Office because he doesn't have to think all the time. And I'm thinking wait a minute, that was him thinking all the time. Really?" –David Letterman


"But the guy, the president, he is still quick. Still very athletic. You know, he's a former cheerleader. I believe he is our only president who was a cheerleader. He proved today at a book signing that he can still duck a shoe." –David Letterman 

     
http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Monday, December 27, 2010

In the book, there's three chapters about Bush (shooting partridges in pear trees)




"Sarah Palin is getting into the Christmas spirit. Today, she shot a partridge in a pear tree." –David Letterman




"Imagining Donald Trump flying on Jet Blue is like trying to imagine Sarah Palin flying on Air Force One." –David Letterman 

      
"Rosie O'Donnell also has a brand new book. In the book, there's three chapters about Bush, and there's another one about the president." --David Letterman

     
http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Sarah Palin's Congo (786 mountain gorillas)




"A new study found that there are only 786 mountain gorillas left in the world, and that number could go down even further after the premier of the new show, 'Sarah Palin's Congo.'" –Jimmy Fallon 


"President Obama signed into law the repeal of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell.' What does it say about us that we think gay men can handle armed combat, but can't handle marriage?" –Jay Leno




"Sarah Palin's Alaska' has been such a big hit for TLC, they’re trying to get her to do another season. You know who doesn't want Palin to have a second season? Elk." –Jimmy Fallon 

     
http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Palin thinks that if we have healthy children, the terrorists have won (Do you feel what I feel?)




"A group of TSA workers at LAX airport have formed a choir to sing to passengers. That's just what you want, a guy with his hands down your pants going, 'Do you feel what I feel?'" –Jay Leno



"Sarah Palin, part-time Governor of Alaska, is angry because Michelle Obama is encouraging kids to eat healthy. Sarah Palin believes the government shouldn’t tell us what to do. Sarah Palin believes she should tell us what to do." –David Letterman




"Sarah Palin is angry that Michelle Obama is suggesting that parents encourage their kids to eat healthy. Palin thinks that if we have healthy children, the terrorists have won." –David Letterman 
   
http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

8 years of George W. Bush summed up in one photo (normal human names)





"Levi Johnston reportedly has a new girlfriend in Alaska named Sunny Oglesby. Which raises an interesting question: Is there anyone in Alaska with a normal human name?" –Jimmy Fallon 




"President Obama said he walks his dog Bo on the White House lawn, but sometimes he has to scoop up Bo's poop. They probably should find someone else to do that. If there's one thing Obama's not good at, it's cleaning up a mess that was left for him." –Jimmy Fallon 




"A new poll shows President Obama ahead of Sarah Palin 54 percent to 39 percent in a potential match up. You know what that means? John McCain could get Barack Obama elected twice." –Jay Leno 

   
http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Filling Out the HB-290 Homosexual Behavior Requisition Form (Are you sure you're not one of my kids?)




"Now if you're in the military and want to engage in gay activity you just have to fill out the HB-290 Homosexual Behavior Requisition Form." –David Letterman 


"The Senate voted to allow gay soldiers to serve in the military. This is good news for gay soldiers, but bad news for straight soldiers who were going to say they were gay to get out of the Army." –Conan O'Brien 


"Last night on 'Sarah Palin's Alaska,' the Palins went white water rafting with a guide named Mudflap. It was such an odd name Sarah Palin asked, "Are you sure you're not one of my kids?" –Jimmy Fallon 

      
http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

The Pentagon can now start production on 'Iraq the Musical.' (gay soldiers during the Civil War)




"President Obama was talking with school kids yesterday and said he walked their dog Bo on the White House lawn and picked up his poop. They should probably have someone else do that. Obama's not good at cleaning up messes other people have left for him." –Jimmy Fallon 

"Congress repealed 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell'. The Pentagon can now start production on 'Iraq the Musical.'" –David Letterman



"John McCain was opposed to repealing 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell,' though he admitted that he probably served with gay soldiers during the Civil War." –David Letterman



A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s
Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

The most annoying word of the year is... ($11 million Christmas tree/Yes he is)



"The most annoying word of the year is 'whatever.' As always, No. 2 is 'Limbaugh.'" –David Letterman




"In Abu Dhabi, there's an $11 million Christmas tree. The prime minister of Abu Dhabi said he hoped the tree would be a symbol that Abu Dhabi has a lot more money than us. And that we're paying far too much for gas." –Jimmy Kimmel 




"Congress has voted to extend the Bush tax cuts. Is it me, or is George W. Bush getting more done now than when he was in office?" –Jay Leno 




A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s
Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.


Zombie, lesbian, disappeared, inflatable. (Loving, Touching, Squeezing)



"The Golden Globes will have an unusual category this year: 'Outstanding Performance by an Animal Killed by Sarah Palin.'" –David Letterman




"Larry King has been married more times than Henry the Eighth. We used to have that rhyme to keep track of them. 'Divorced, beheaded, died. Divorced, beheaded, survived.' With Larry I think it goes, 'Divorced, beheaded, divorced, escaped. Zombie, lesbian, disappeared, inflatable.'" –Craig Ferguson 

"A group of TSA agents has formed a choir to entertain travelers as they go through security. It's not helping that the only song they sing is Journey's 'Loving, Touching, Squeezing.'" –Conan O'Brien 



A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s
Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

God, what an ego on that guy! (Especially the really hot ones)



"Anderson Cooper has announced that the title of his new show is just 'Anderson.' I think I speak for everyone here at 'Conan' when I say, 'God, what an ego on that guy!'" –Conan O'Brien




"The Marine Corps’ top general suggested allowing gay soldiers on the battlefield would pose a distraction. Especially the really hot ones." –Conan O'Brien




"President Bush insisted that there was nothing in the August 6th, 2001 briefing, which was titled 'Bin Laden determined to attack the United States', that hinted what bin Laden was up to. Bush says that he would have moved mountains to stop the attack. Yeah, but he draws the line at reading a memo." —David Letterman


A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s
Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.


Sunday, December 26, 2010

A couple of things went haywire. His first term and his second term (it takes a big man to do this)




"But I think everybody has warm feelings for George Bush now. He held his final press conference yesterday. He admitted — it takes a big man to do this — he admitted that a couple things didn’t go according to plan. A couple of things went haywire. His first term and his second term. Those two things." --David Letterman


"But President Bush did take credit for a couple of things. He said, you know, Dick Cheney hasn't shot anybody in a couple of years. So that's always good, right?" --David Letterman 

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s
Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

No word yet what he's going to do with the other 14 minutes (Bush's farewell speech)




"And, of course, of course, now the real pressure is on. President Bush only has three days left to respond to Hurricane Katrina." --Jay Leno

"President Bush has asked all the major networks for 15 minutes of air time on Thursday to give his farewell speech to the nation. Well, the White House says he's going to use part of the time to list his accomplishments. No word yet what he's going to do with the other 14 minutes." --Jay Leno 


A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s
Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

It is the best way to spot shoes that are coming at you (four countries that will still take my calls)




"Tomorrow, America will get to hear those four words we've been waiting for, 'former President George Bush,' President Bush said he is leaving Washington with his head held high, because it is the best way to spot shoes that are coming at you." --Jay Leno

"President Bush is winding things down. Yep, today was President Bush's last full day in office. He called the leaders of Denmark, Italy, Russia and South Korea to say, 'thank you.' Yeah, his exact words were, 'thank you for being one of the last four countries that will still take my calls.'" --Conan O'Brien 

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s
Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

Spider-Man stops bad guys from ruining Barack's inauguration (room full of stupid)



"This morning, Barack Obama entered the Oval Office for the first time as president and he spent ten minutes alone. Yep. Shows you how things have changed. When President Bush spent ten minutes alone in the Oval Office, it was called a time-out." --Conan O'Brien


"Barack Obama is in the latest issue of the 'Spider-Man' comics. That's when you know you're big, when you're in 'Spider-Man' comics. The story is about how Spider-Man stops bad guys from ruining Barack's inauguration. And psychologists believe this comic book was actually very handy in helping President Bush understand the transition." --Jay Leno


A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s
Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.




The store was out of 'You totally embarrassed us' signs





"Yesterday, when President Bush returned to Texas, people who were there to greet him were holding up signs that said, 'You made us so proud.' Afterwards, the people admitted that the store was out of 'You totally embarrassed us' signs." --Conan O'Brien


"President Bush is back in Texas, unemployed like much of the rest of America. Bush reportedly spent the day cataloging his papers, outlining his memoirs, and sketching out plans for his presidential library. Just kidding. He spent four hours seeing how many Reese's Pieces he could hold between his toes. 38, it turns out." --Jimmy Kimmel 

The Bush Economy, part II (Mary Jane Piss in Your Face Cheese Time)




The Bush Economy, part II (Mary Jane Piss in Your Face Cheese Time)

…march 2008

Consumer Confidence at its lowest level since 2002.

And in the last month or two…

The 4,000th soldier died in Iraq.

Iraq is costing US taxpayers 12 Billion a Month.
$4,000 per second.

Consumers increased their borrowing by 7 Billion in January.

Bush’s recession, more job cuts, banks running out of cash.

Gas prices at an all time high, oil at $110 a barrel.

U.S. Home Foreclosures up 70%.

300,000 homes were in default, and the number
is rising.

Bank seizures were up 123% last month.

The steepest drop in housing value in 40 years.

There will be more than 1 million bank repossessions
by the end of 2008.

Gas prices in 2002, $1.39 a gallon.
Gas prices in 2008, $3.31 a gallon.

I was at the pump two weeks ago,
on a cold Indiana February morning.
A beautiful black woman pulled up
to the opposite pump.

She started filling her car up
and said to me, “I don’t know how people
are going to make it.”

I said, “I know. It’s awful.”

120,000 families filed bankruptcy last month.

100,000 non-farm jobs lost in the last two months.

40,000 construction jobs lost last month.

60,000 manufacturing jobs lost.

30,000 temporary jobs lost.

One half of one million have become so desperate
that they have stopped looking for work.

The only reason people aren’t living
in shanty towns is because they cannot afford
the shanty.

The Bush Economy (poem)





The Bush Economy

I was walking
down the isle
of the grocery store
and I heard
a little boy
ask his mother,

"Mommy,
can we buy
dog food
with
food stamps?"


poem by John Hulse Collected Poems (1985-2015) volume 1




proceeds being raised for veterans issues including The Paralyzed Veterans of America

An American with a Disability (poem)



An American with a Disability


Dave’s life
was
a hard one.

epilepsy…
Grand Mal Seizures…

sometimes
his beautiful
face
was smashed
to pieces.

a few times
he was battered
unrecognizable
and covered
in blood.

Dave taught me
what
the term
“healing”
really meant.

one of Dave’s
many horror stories
was that he was
mistakenly arrested

after having a seizure
and being shipped
by the police
to a doctor
50 miles away
for treatment
he didn’t need,

and the police left him
stranded there
without
a ride home.

Dave remembered
waking up
in the hospital
and screaming
out loud,

“Take these damn
handcuffs off
of me,
I am not
a criminal!”

He said the policeman
was too busy
flirting with a nurse
to come over
right away
and take the
cuffs off.

Making this horror
even worse
was that he was transported
with his hands cuffed behind
his back
while his chest
was pressed against
the seat of the squad car
for the entire hour long
journey.

Worse again, was that
he had just had a pacemaker
implanted in his chest
to reduce his seizures.

The police
told Dave's
mom that
he was coherent
all the
way down
to Indianapolis.

If Dave was coherent
like they said,
the first
words out of
his mouth
would have been,

“Please take these
handcuffs off of me,
I am not a criminal!

I have epilepsy!”



Dave Looper died alone in his apartment on or about January 23-24 2002


poem from John Hulse Collected Poems (1985-2015) volume 1