Unfortunately, the record was for largest coffin

Conservative pundit Glenn Beck said Friday that Ted Cruz was “anointed” by God to become president. To which God replied, “No, no, no, I said he was ‘annoying.’” –Seth Meyers

Video was released this weekend of a man setting a new world record by eating 200 Peeps in 14 minutes. Unfortunately, the record was for “largest coffin.” –Seth Meyers

A man in Egypt held up a flight today with the demand that he would not release its passengers until a love letter was delivered to his ex-wife. And afterwards his ex-wife said, “THIS is why. Stuff like THIS is why.” –Seth Meyers