The
latest polls show Gov. John Kasich holds a small lead over Donald Trump in his
home state of Ohio. Whereas everything Donald Trump holds looks huge because of
his tiny baby hands. –Seth Meyers
A
new restaurant has opened in Los Angeles that creates special dinners based on
the city's most notorious murders and crimes. So you have to be careful if you
order an O.J. with your breakfast. –Seth Meyers
Americans
are working longer hours, and the only break most of us get is a little extra
sleep on the weekends. Which I use to stress-dream about work! Then one day a
year, the government comes in under cover of darkness and steals a precious
hour of sleep from us. –Stephen Colbert
So
I'm over it. Especially the phrase "Spring Forward.” Don't try to make it
sound fun. I'm not "Leaping" into the future! I'm barely hoisting
myself out of bed and it’s dangerous. –Stephen Colbert
No comments:
Post a Comment