Upon
returning, astronaut Scott Kelly measured two inches taller. This is due to his
vertebrae not being compressed in a low-gravity environment. And the fact that
he started wearing heels. –James Corden
Mitt
Romney this morning made a televised speech in which he went all in after
Donald Trump. He called him a phony and a fraud. He said he's playing the
American public for suckers. I haven't seen Mitt this fired up since that time
he dripped mayonnaise on a new pair of chambray Dockers. –Jimmy Kimmel
Chris
Christie was asked today about his vacant expression during Donald Trump’s
Super Tuesday victory speech, and told reporters, “I wasn’t anything other than
happy.” Well, if that expression means you’re happy, then my wife was thrilled
when I forgot her birthday. –Seth Meyers
No comments:
Post a Comment