Ohio/no one asked the cow to do that

A farm in Ohio has the words “NO TRUMP” written so large in cow manure that it can be seen by overhead planes. The craziest part — no one asked the cow to do that. –Seth Meyers

NASA estimates that during his year in space, astronaut Scott Kelly drank almost 200 gallons of water filtered from his own urine and sweat. And then, on the last day, he found all the Fiji bottles he’d brought with him. –Seth Meyers

According to a recent survey, 15 percent of Americans have admitted to cooking in the nude. Unfortunately, most of them work at Chipotle. –Seth Meyers