I’m an actor?

There are rumors that Ted Cruz has had affairs with up to eight different women. Ted Cruz refuses to answer questions about the scandal, but he is accepting high-fives. –Conan O’Brien 

A man claiming to be William Shatner’s biological son is suing the actor for $170 million. Shatner was shocked and said, "I’m an actor?" –Conan O’Brien

The other day at LAX, a flight attendant was caught smuggling cocaine. People became suspicious when she gave passengers a six-hour safety briefing. –Conan O’Brien

There is a new tell-all book coming out about the Kardashians. It contains shocking allegations about them secretly reading books and wearing clothes. –Conan O’Brien