"Tonight in his speech, President Bush introduced his plan for Social Security. His plan: take the security part out of it." --Jay Leno
"Earlier tonight it was President Bush's State of the Union address and it is always exciting to be there. I don't care what you think, if you are Democrat or Republican it is always an exciting event. President Bush was interrupted forty times by applause and twice to look up a word in the dictionary." --David Letterman
"According to the folks at the White House the federal budget deficit is now a whooping $427 billion dollars. For a guy who quite drinking President Bush sure knows how to run up a tab." --Craig Ferguson
Jon Stewart: "Finally, the moment we've all been waiting for –- the official halfway point of the Bush presidency." President Bush: "I George Walker Bush do solemnly swear…" Stewart: "At which point 49 percent of the country also solemnly swore."