"Yesterday,
the Dalai Lama had a private meeting with
President
Bush. You know, the
last Dalai the president greeted was Parton. Believe it or not, they actually
have a lot in common. One of the goals of Zen Buddhism is to completely empty
your mind. The president did that years ago." --Jimmy Kimmel
"Lynne
Cheney, who's the wife of Vice President Dick Cheney, just wrote a book. Apparently,
while she was researching the book, she discovered something very interesting
about her husband's past [on screen: L. Cheney saying that D. Cheney and Barack
Obama are eighth cousins]. Now that you mention it, I do see the resemblance. Cheney
and Obama are cousins, like Fonzie and Chachi. Can eighth cousins date, by the
way?" --Jimmy Kimmel
"Earlier
tonight on NBC, Idaho Senator
Larry Craig was on Matt
Lauer. Until Matt was able to push him off. The interview was conducted in
Senator Craig's home in Idaho. Beautiful home. Four bedrooms, 29
bathrooms." --Jay Leno
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