The speech was entitled "My bad, girlfriend." (Nokia Weed Dealer)

Pope Francis said the Catholic Church should ask forgiveness from gays for its past treatment of them. The speech was entitled "My bad, girlfriend." –Conan O’Brien

Last week, over 30 participants in a Tony Robbins seminar burned their feet walking on hot coals. The victims just signed up for a second seminar: "How To Get Rich Suing Tony Robbins." –Conan O’Brien

This week, there’s a new smartphone available that costs only $4. It’s called the Nokia Weed Dealer. –Conan O’Brien

For the first time ever, the Miss America Pageant is going to have a gay contestant, Miss Missouri. It will also have its first bi contestant, Miss North and South Dakota. –Conan O’Brien