Tuesday, January 31, 2017

President Trump Just Broke An Unpopularity Record

DNC Chair Candidates STILL Refuse to Address Rigged Primary Against Bernie Sanders

The Hilarious Real Story of Donald Trump's Voter Fraud Expert

JOKES: How much damage could he do in a week? (where the good Lord split ya)

So this is our first show of the Trump administration. You ever regret going on vacation? "Take the week off," they said. "America will still be here when you get back," they said. "How much damage could he do in a week?" –Stephen Colbert
You've got to give the guy credit. He can really get a lot of stuff undone. From Obamacare to climate change to torture, he's already moved the country back to 2004. If this keeps up, pretty soon, I’m going to launch "The Colbert Report." –Stephen Colbert
This guy is the Usain Bolt of executive orders. The latest is the order banning any refugees from entering the country for 120 days. Now, keep in mind, there are currently more refugees than at any time since World War II, and Trump just slammed the door. Explains why the poem on the Statue of Liberty now reads, "Don't let it hit ya where the good Lord split ya." –Stephen Colbert
And at Dulles Airport, a 5-year-old Iranian boy was detained for hours and kept from his mother. Or as Kellyanne Conway calls it, "alternative daycare." –Stephen Colbert

JOKES: where's he going to find his next wife? (Geneva Refugee Convention)

If Donald Trump — think of this, if he stops all the immigrants from coming into the country, where's he going to find his next wife? –Jimmy Kimmel
German Chancellor Angela Merkel this weekend reportedly had to explain the Geneva Refugee Convention to President Trump during a phone call. She also had to explain to him not to push the buttons while they were talking. –Seth Meyers
Two New Hampshire Burger King employees were arrested last week after selling marijuana at their drive-thru. Which is crazy, who goes to Burger King before they get weed? –Seth Meyers

JOKES: Trump lifted all travel restrictions on clownfish (So that is good)

While all this was happening, Donald Trump was hosting a screening at the White House of the movie "Finding Dory," which ironically is a movie about a fish trying to find her parents. To his credit he was so moved by the film, he lifted all travel restrictions on clownfish. So that is good. –Jimmy Kimmel
Trump spoke with a number of foreign leaders over the weekend, including the president of Mexico, the prime minister of Germany. He also spoke with Vladimir Putin for about an hour. Putin wanted to know if Trump liked the gift he got him. Donald told him, yes, he was enjoying the presidency very much. –Jimmy Kimmel

JOKES: that way Sean Spicer won't hurt himself when he eventually jumps out the window

Travelers from the seven restricted countries, most of them got on a plane, had no idea they would be stopped, were detained by immigration, including a 5-year-old boy who was detained for hours while his mother, who was born in Iran, waited at the gate for him. And that meant lucky Sean Spicer, the White House press secretary, had the unenviable job trying to explain how detaining a 5-year-old helps keep the country safe. –Jimmy Kimmel
Fortunately the White House press room is on the ground floor, which is good because that way Sean won't hurt himself when he eventually jumps out the window. –Jimmy Kimmel

JOKES: the fajitas come out on a sizzling Galaxy Note 7

A gourmet restaurant in San Francisco is now offering a signature dish that is served on an iPad. Or as it will be reported next week, "Restaurant in San Francisco suddenly missing all of its plates." –James Corden
Not all of the entrees at this restaurant come out on an iPad. For example when you order the fajitas, they come out on a sizzling Galaxy Note 7. –James Corden
You know how over the course of his time in office, over four years or eight years, the president gets old and his hair turns gray? During this administration, instead of him, that’s going to happen to all of us.  –Jimmy Kimmel

JOKES: No New Texans/Brown v. Orange/inheriting their father’s business

During an interview yesterday, Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway compared Donald Trump to Jesus. That's right, two guys who started out by inheriting their father’s business. –Conan O’Brien
California Gov. Jerry Brown said if he has to he will fight Donald Trump in court on climate change. Experts say it will be the landmark case of Brown v. Orange. –Conan O’Brien
An art gallery in Finland recently put on an exhibition of paintings created by a brown bear named Juuso. The exhibition sold 15 of the bear's paintings, raising $8,500. Fifteen paintings — that is 14 more paintings than Van Gogh sold in his entire lifetime. –James Corden

JOKES: Trump said, "I was amazed by Dory’s long attention span."

They asked Trump about "Finding Dory" and Trump said, "I was amazed by Dory’s long attention span." –Conan O’Brien
This weekend the nation's airports were filled with people protesting president Trump's Muslim ban. It was the largest collection of angry people at an airport since every United Airlines flight. –Conan O’Brien
The CEO of Starbucks has pledged to hire 10,000 refugees. So if you think they're writing your name incorrectly on the cups now . . . –Conan O’Brien

JOKES: Dory couldn't be found because she was being detained at the airport

A group of inmates in California filmed a YouTube video from prison where they vowed to help El Chapo escape. El Chapo was excited to watch it, but then a 30-second ad popped up and he was like, "Ugh — forget it." –Jimmy Fallon
Tostitos is coming out with a limited-edition bag that actually doubles as a breathalyzer. Here's how it works: If you're breathing into a bag of Tostitos, you're probably drunk. –Jimmy Fallon
Yesterday Donald Trump spent the afternoon at the White House watching "Finding Dory" with his family. Apparently in this version Dory couldn't be found because she was being detained at the airport. –Conan O’Brien

JOKES: Then Melania said, "Trust me, he doesn't know when someone is faking it."

Here in New York thousands of people showed up at JFK airport over the weekend to protest Trump's immigration ban. People who were actually at the protests said, "This is awful." While people at LaGuardia were like, "You think you got it bad. We're at LaGuardia." –Jimmy Fallon
After Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer got emotional while protesting Trump's travel ban, Trump accused him of fake crying. Then Melania said, "Trust me, he doesn't know when someone is faking it." –Jimmy Fallon
Yesterday at the White House, Trump hosted a screening of the movie "Finding Dory." Trump said he actually related more to "Finding Nemo" because that was about an orange-and-white cartoon. –Jimmy Fallon

The Mess in South Dakota (Runaway Bribe) Meet the Politicians Who Voted FOR Corruption!

Tim Kaine GOES HARD: Calls Trump Admin. Holocaust Denial & Muslim 'Test' EXACTLY What They Are

Jeff Sessions: Will All Dem Senators Reject Such a Dangerous Bigot?

Thom Hartmann-Is a Trump Coup On the Way?

Monday, January 30, 2017

The Beatles - Revolution (demo)

The Beatles - While My Guitar Gently Weeps (demo)

Democrats Are Already Caving to President Trump

COINCIDENCE? Countries Trump Does Biz With MISSING from Muslim Ban List

SHOCK: KGB Source for Trump Blackmail Dossier Found Dead

SHOCK: Leaked Memos Expose Trump Russia Quid Pro Quo

Trump Hits 50% Disapproval in Record Low 8 Days

Wolf Blitzer Worries Stopping Killing Kids Would Hurt Profits

Paul Ryan & Mitch McConnell – Spineless GOP Leaders Afraid Of Trump

UK PETITION TO BAN TRUMP REACHES 1 MILLION: Millions Should Sign Petition To Free Julian Assange

PROTESTING TRUMP IS WORTHLESS: Why Democrats Will Lose Again to Trump in 2020

WIKILEAKS PODESTA EMAILS BREAKING NEWS: Clinton Official and NYT Writer in Hilarious Twitter Fight

Jimmy Dore: Donald Trump's 9/11 Comments Rock The Conservative World - 3 of 3

Jimmy Dore: Donald Trump Bursts GOP's 9/11 Bubble - 1 of 3

Jimmy Dore: Jeb Defends George W From Donald Trump's 9/11 Attack - 2 of 3

George Carlin's 'Big Club' Proven Real By Email Between Hillary & Tech Tycoon

Shameful: President Trump Defends Torture on National Television

Tulsi Gabbard Sets the Record Straight on Syria

Trump's MAJOR CIA Problem: Spies Afraid He'll Will Blow Their Sources on Putin

Sean Spicer: Trump's Voter Fraud Lie Is 'A Belief He Maintains' Based on 'Things He's Been Told'

Trump's the Dumb Guy Who Can 'Handle a Pen' the GOP's Always Wanted

Steven Mnuchin FLAT-OUT LIED During Confirmation Hearing About Fraud Committed During Housing Crisis

CNN: Dana Bash Points Out the PROFOUNDLY OBVIOUS HYPOCRISY of GOP Comfort With Executive Orders

Uh-Oh: Insiders Reveal Trump Demoralized, Constantly Watching TV

Wage Theft - How Employers Steal $50 Billion A Year From US Workers

New Data Tracks Inequality Over Centuries

Nomiki Konst On Democrats: You Can't Fight Extreme With Moderate

Meet One Of The Protestors Who Hung "BETRAYAL" Banner At The DNC

Bill Murray knows it's Monday but... (You're Awesome)

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Bernie Supporter Confronts Vegas Reporter On Rachel Maddow

Rachel Maddow Lets Vegas Insider Spread Anti-Bernie Propaganda

JOKES: James Bond was there (we're not sure if Abe Vigoda is dead)

"Last night, Hillary and Obama debated at the Kodak Theatre. The camera showed so many celebrities in the audience, I thought I was watching a Lakers game. Hillary and Obama. Is it just me or did they look like the local weekend news anchor team? 'Over to you, Hillary. That is a lot of puppies. Thank you.'" --Bill Maher

"This is who the Democrats brought out last night -- James Bond was there, Leo DiCaprio, Diane Keaton, Steven Spielberg. Now, not to be outdone, this was who John McCain was campaigning with last week -- Wilford Brimley, the Quaker Oats dude. They are a little celebrity challenged. John McCain must have said to his staff, 'Find me someone who makes me look young. Make up a short list of people who are older than me.' And they said, 'Sir, that is a short list. Joan Rivers doesn't want to do it, and we're not sure if Abe Vigoda is dead.'" --Bill Maher

JOKES: How did that get there? (getting religion on issues)

"I watched this speech. It is so infuriating the way Bush has a way of getting religion on issues that he has been resisting forever, and then he acts like he thought of it and we're the a-------. This government must stop spending money we don't have! He actually had the nerve to say, 'For the sake of the environment, we got to use less oil. Some dips--- has been dragging his feet on global warming around here. When I find out who's in that guy's body, I'm going to f--- him up.'" --Bill Maher

"I hope Americans learn one thing -- never again elected a black-out drinker. This is the guy who parks his car on the front lawn and says, 'How did that get there?'" --Bill Maher