"Today Warren Buffett
announced he's giving away his multi-billion dollar fortune to charity rather
than leaving it to his kids. He said he doesn't believe someone's son should inherit
his father's position in society. Today President Bush had him put under
surveillance." --Jay Leno
"President Bush will
not concede that global warming may have something to do with this crazy
weather though he has been conducting all official business wearing
floaties." --Jimmy Kimmel
"Bad times on the
East Coast as much of Washington, D.C. is flooded. Several government agencies
had to close down including the Justice Department, the IRS and the National
Zoo. FEMA headquarters floated away." --Jimmy Kimmel
"The Census Bureau
revealed today that Las Vegas is about to pass Washington, D.C. in population.
The big difference between Las Vegas and D.C., of course, is that in Las Vegas
people gamble with their own money." --Jay Leno
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