https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
Monday, October 26, 2026
Screw you! I've been sick! (I'm lean and I'm mean)
A lion walks up to a zebra and says,
"Hey zebra! You are a ridiculous looking animal!
You're black, you're white, you're half mule
and half donkey.
Look at me. I'm lean and I'm mean.
I'm King of the Jungle!"
The zebra shrugs off the insult and walks on...
The lion then comes upon a giraffe and says,
"Hey, giraffe! You are a ridiculous looking animal!
You gotta long neck and tiny antlers on the top
of your head!
Look at me. I'm lean and I'm mean.
I'm King of the Jungle!"
Finally, the lion comes upon a frog and says,
"Hey, frog! You are a ridiculous looking animal!
You're green and you're slimy.."
Before the lion could finish his next sentence
the frog says,
"Screw you! I've been sick!"
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
You may be about to become the English language's most offensive C-word (There's also a negative side)
“The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long
plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men
die like dogs. There's also a negative side.” —Hunter S. Thompson
For potential disasters, this pessimist carries a card in his wallet that says, "In case of an accident, I'm not surprised." --Milton Berle
"Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language's most offensive C-word." –John Oliver
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
but they do want to make it late for something (mobile home cheese)
I like to sleep, but I hate to dream because dreaming takes energy. It takes work. Sleeping is supposed to be relaxing. I lay down on a bed. It feels great, but the next thing you know I have to build a go-kart with my ex landlord. —Mitch Hedberg
They have a fishing show on TV. They catch the fish but they let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, but they do want to make it late for something. --Mitch Hedberg
I love cottage cheese, that's why I want to try other dwelling cheeses too. I want to try studio apartment cheese or maybe igloo cheese or if I'm feeling adventurous, mobile home cheese. —Mitch Hedberg
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
Hey hey, easy with that. That's my lucky stabbing hat (like some people I know)
Testimony during the final week provided some spellbinding moments. In a brilliant move during closing arguments, OJ Simpson attorney Johnny Cochran put on the knit cap prosecutors say OJ wore the night he committed the murders. Although OJ may have hurt his case when he suddenly blurted out, "Hey hey, easy with that. That's my lucky stabbing hat." --Norm Macdonald
In economic news unemployment figures rose slightly for the month of October with declines in the Dow Jones and NASDAQ. The reason for the sudden downturn? You guessed it, Frank Stallone. --Norm Macdonald
It was revealed this week that OJ Simpson defense lawyer Johnny Cochran once abused his first wife. In his defense Cochran said, "Hey at least I didn't kill her like some people I know." --Norm Macdonald
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
That’s like a burp, a hiccup and a dry heave all in one (Brussels sprouts)
“That’s like a burp, a hiccup and a dry heave all in one.” — Jimmy Fallon, on the strange sound Trump made during Wednesday’s rally
“Sounds like Melania on their wedding night.” — Jimmy Fallon
“Trump’s been in so many M.R.I. machines, he now sounds like one.” — Jimmy Fallon
“I think it’s a little weird to mention a fellow Republican and then make the same sound a 5-year-old makes when you dump Brussels sprouts on his plate.” — Seth Meyers
“You sounded less like a president and more like a bullfrog.” — Seth Meyers
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
$10 gas is fine but I’ll be dead and buried before I recognize the Atlantic Ocean (12 days before this election)
During a rally in South Carolina on Wednesday, President Trump again floated the idea of renaming either the Pacific or Atlantic as “Trump Ocean” or “Ocean of the Americas.” OK, what voters is he trying to appeal to? ‘[imitating Trump voter] $10 gas is fine but I’ll be dead and buried before I recognize the Atlantic Ocean.’ — Seth Meyers
“Once again, 12 days before this election, it’s good to see him locked in on the really big issues.” — Jimmy Fallon
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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