Wipers Coming Down (1987)

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Breaking Points: GOP ABANDONS Entire States As DEMS SURGE

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

making it harder and harder for men to start that secret second family (National Nails Day)

According to new data, the price of the American dream, which means owning a home, raising two kids and sending them to college, has risen to over $5 million, making it harder and harder for men to start that secret second family. —Michael Che 

A Florida TikTok creator who has a full face tattoo and calls himself a demonologist was arrested for allegedly revealing women's private information online. Man, it's always the ones you least expect. —Colin Jost 

Monday is Indigenous Peoples Day and Columbus Day, which is like if Easter was also National Nails Day. —Colin Jost 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

he didn't really look into it, and he doesn't care what happens (lawn business)

President Trump says the U.S. does not think the death of a Russian laboratory worker from a suspected case of plague is the result of a bioweapon. But Trump also stressed that it's important to understand that he didn't really look into it, and he doesn't care what happens. —Colin Jost 

House Speaker Mike Johnson joked this week that if Republicans lose the House, he may go home to Louisiana and start a lawn business. Of course, in Louisiana, lawn business is just what you do when the toilet done broke. —Michael Che 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

hopefully to an agent who forgets to take them off at the urinal (the USS John Wilkes Booth)

ICE agents will reportedly start using shock gloves, which do not leave marks and cause incredible pain, hopefully to an agent who forgets to take them off at the urinal. —Michael Che 

Pete Hegseth met with the crew of the USS Abraham Lincoln, which had been at sea for a record 322 days and is now docked next to -- Oh, no, the USS John Wilkes Booth. What are the odds? —Colin Jost 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This is my year (a harmless little joke that might make Trump bomb whatever country he thinks she's from)

Unfortunately we have to start tonight with a tragic developing story involving President Trump. No, not that. It's that President Trump has sadly not won the Nobel Peace Prize. I know, I know, but don't worry. I think he's taking it all in stride. President Trump: “The Nobel Prize was given out today to a liberal person who works at the United Nations, who nobody has ever heard of.” He's genuinely angry that he didn't win the Peace Prize. Trump kidnapped Venezuela's president. Then he did so much war that we're running out of missiles. And he still thought, "This is my year.” —Colin Jost 

Navi Pillay, who learned she won the Nobel Peace Prize at a conference in Germany, joked with the crowd that if they clap a little more, she may share this prize with Trump, which is a harmless little joke that might make Trump bomb whatever country he thinks she's from. —Michael Che 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I hope you’re happy — you made our baby cry (Please stop calling me The Barnacle)

On Friday, the Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to Navi Pillay, a former U.N. High Commissioner for Human Rights. President Trump responded at rallies and on Truth Social, saying that he should have won instead. He is blaming Norway for this slight. Which, thanks a lot, Norway. I hope you’re happy — you made our baby cry.” — Jimmy Kimmel 

“[imitating Trump’] And I’m going to keep approving those public executions until somebody gives me a damn peace prize!” — Jimmy Kimmel

“This execution is scheduled for December third, which, I looked it up, you know what else is scheduled that day? The White House Christmas tree lighting. You know, they could save some money if they doubled up in some way — maybe get a Monster Energy drink sponsorship and finally end the war on Christmas.” — Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”