Bill Murray knows it's Monday but... (You're Awesome)

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

In 44 countries college education is free (It’s been a week since anyone mentioned the Epstein files)

Donald Trump’s comments that the war had “met and exceeded” US objectives. It’s true. It’s been a week since anyone mentioned the Epstein files. —Stephen Colbert

This week the New York Times reported that Trump’s war in Iran was influenced by a February situation room meeting with Benjamin Netanyahu, during which the Israeli prime minister gave a presentation making a case for war. It’s being called the most manipulative PowerPoint since your middle schooler put together ‘Tyler’s Reasons the Family Should Get a Dog.’ “Number one: your fighting makes me sad.” Netanyahu’s presentation reportedly ended by outlining a vision for regime change in Iran. It feels like there’s a pretty big leap there at the end. It sounds like a recipe that says, Preheat oven to 350, chop vegetables … regime change. —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

We’d be better off with Alvin, Simon and Theodore (special son-in-law)

On Wednesday, Donald Trump named JD Vance as lead negotiator in ceasefire talks along with special envoy Steve Witkoff and “special son-in-law” Jared Kushner. What a trio. We’d be better off with Alvin, Simon and Theodore. —Jimmy Kimmel

“How is this negotiation even going to work? This is a government of religious fanatics who don’t believe in democracy, and they use domestic security forces to terrorize their own citizens: and now we expect Iran to negotiate with them?” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The same as Disneyland (she looks at you like Vin Diesel looks at The Rock)

It's still all about this straight of Hormuz where we get all the oil. We need the oil,  and you know apparently this agreement we have we have to save face and not you know kill everybody in Iran by pretending that it's open, although it's kind of not. Iran is charging a toll it's $2 million to get in. The same as Disneyland. —Bill Maher

“Donald Trump seems to think that he can threaten to kill an entire civilization, then they’re going to be totally cool with it the next day. Let me put this in terms you might be able to understand, Mr President. Remember how you cheated on Melania with a porn star right after she gave birth to Barron, and now you guys sleep in separate bedrooms and she looks at you like Vin Diesel looks at The Rock? This is that type of situation; it’s not going away.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

they cite the case of Johnson versus enormous Johnson (That's why I spend so much time with my hose)

Lawyers for Sean Diddy Combs claim his freakoff orgies were just amateur porn protected by the first amendment and they cite the case of Johnson versus enormous Johnson. —Greg Gutfeld

A 95-year-old woman from South London has broken five age group world records for swimming. And they plan to give her a medal if she ever comes back. —Greg Gutfeld

And finally, a new study shows that gardening is good for your brain. That's why I spend so much time with my hose, said Bill Clinton. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Give him my number (we are led by the least among us)

According to recent reports, Iran's Supreme Leader is unconscious and unable to be involved in any decision making. Give him my number, said Jill Biden. —Greg Gutfeld

Two Arizona high school teachers are accused of sexual misconduct with the same teenage boy. We went to the boy for comment, but sadly he'd been high-fived to death. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The mainstream media aligns itself with power against the common man (ours has been seen wandering on a highway overpass)

The spacecraft Artemis II is now on its way home. That’s great, glad to hear that everything is working out, but how do I put this, fellas … not a great time to return to Earth. You might want to take a couple laps around the parking lot, till the explosions stop. —Stephen Colbert

The spaceship made it 252,756 miles from Earth – or, as the New York Times put it, the length of 728 million dachshunds, put nose-to-tail. Man, Americans will do anything to not use the metric system. —Stephen Colbert

And then there was Donald Trump’s ominous Tuesday morning post, in which he claimed that “a whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again”. OK, that is very upsetting by any measure. But I also want to point out that he doesn’t say which civilization will die tonight. Because ours has been seen wandering on a highway overpass. —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”