The first problem I see is his hands are normal size (just to get Epstein back in the news again)

There is an AI-generated image that depicts Trump as Jesus. The first problem I see is his hands are normal size. That’s not realistic. —Jimmy Kimmel    

“This little detour into messiah status did not get Trump the reaction he was hoping for from the Christian community. Overall, they’re not on board with the whole false idols thing. And a lot of people were upset. So Trump or his team deleted the post, which is notable because his account almost never deletes his crazy posts. Last week, when he threatened to kill a civilization, that’s still up. The Jesus post is down. So you know this one was trouble. Which is perhaps why Trump tried to claim, to a White House reporter, that the image actually depicted him as a doctor trying to heal someone. This is why, on top of being reckless and a liar and just ridiculous in general, Trump is also a coward. I don’t know which is more offensive, how dumb he is, or how dumb he thinks we are.” —Jimmy Kimmel    

“This war is going so poorly for Trump, he may need Melania to hold another surprise press conference just to get Epstein back in the news again. --Jimmy Kimmel    

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 
and Orwell’s 1984.”

Because you know who left the last supper early? (that’s only because it’s never been worse)

 

A happy tax day to all who celebrate. Reports about the Iran War has driven consumer sentiment to its lowest level in 70 years. It turns out that 1956 is as far back as the numbers go, meaning that consumer confidence is at the lowest ever recorded. It may sound bad, but that’s only because it’s never been worse. —Stephen Colbert    

Vice President JD Vance commented at a Tuesday event about the Pope’s criticism of Trump’s Iran war. “I think it’s very important for the Pope to be careful when he talks about matters of theology.” Hey, JD, I know you’re Catholic, but you joined in 2019, OK? I’ve been genuflecting since the mid-1960s. I think you’re out over your Catholic skis here, OK? I think it’s time for you to sit down, then stand back up. Then kneel. Then stand again. Then shake hands with people around you. Then kneel a little more, then go take communion, then go back to your pew for some more kneeling, because you’re not sneaking out of here after communion. Because you know who left the last supper early? Judas. —Stephen Colbert    

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 
and Orwell’s 1984.”
 

You both historically care deeply about the same thing (It’s never great when someone says...)

 

There have been public clashes between Donald Trump and Pope Leo XIV, which began when the pope delivered a beautiful, compassionate message for the Easter holiday calling for peace around the world. It does not come into my brain that anyone in the world hearing the Pope’s message of peace will have some kind of weird problem with it. Except for Trump, who posted on his social media website Truth Social that the leader of the Catholic church was “weak” and a “loser”. I am really starting to sour on this president. Look, President Trump, I know the Vatican’s been critical of your policies, but you gotta remember that at the end of the day you and the Catholic church both historically care deeply about the same thing – covering up sex scandals. —Jon Stewart

President Trump has criticized the pope, whom he has called a “loser”. According to one Italian religious historian, not even Hitler or Mussolini attacked the pope so directly and publicly. It’s never great when someone says, ‘You should really be more discreet and respectful. You know, like Hitler.’ —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 
and Orwell’s 1984.”
 

Sometimes a pun has to work (it's good to know Joe Biden will be in a better place)

Tuesday on The View, Joy Behar said Jesus never claimed to be the Messiah, but she did say that he died for her chins. Sometimes a pun has to work. —Greg Gutfeld    

House Democrats have filed six articles of impeachment against Secretary of War Pete Hegseth over Iran. If found guilty, he could be sentenced to another 5 to 10 years at Fox and Friends. —Greg Gutfeld  

Well, it appears women are getting boob jobs from injectable filler made from donated cadaver fats. Hey, it's good to know Joe Biden will be in a better place. —Greg Gutfeld

Caitlyn Jenner said she never should have accepted Glamour's Woman of the Year award in 2015. Even more, by admitting that she was wrong, experts say Jenner can no longer be considered a woman. —Greg Gutfeld        

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 
and Orwell’s 1984.”

Is she still under the table? (key choke point)

 

Congressman Eric Swalwell is also being investigated for paying an illegal Brazilian nanny under the table with campaign funds. When he heard about this, Bill Clinton asked, "Is she still under the table?” —Greg Gutfeld    

Tensions continue to rise in the straight of Hormuz as Iran cuts off a key choke point. Did someone say choke point, asked Hillary Clinton? —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 
and Orwell’s 1984.”

it's a classic case of he said, she said, she said, she said, she said, and she said (he's been sprayed with mace)

 

 

So, on Tuesday, California Congressman Eric Swalwell resigned from Congress. As a result, Chinese flags were flown at half mast. —Greg Gutfeld    

Just a heads up, if you see Swalwell with red, watery eyes, it's not because he's been crying about his resignation. It's because he's been sprayed with mace. —Greg Gutfeld    

Swalwell vows, however, that he'll fight the most serious charges, saying it's a classic case of he said, she said, she said, she said, she said, and she said. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 
and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

So, what's stopping you from living your best life? (God willing, he offers to take us back)

 

It was announced that when King Charles visits the U.S. this month, he will deliver a joint address to Congress, where, God willing, he offers to take us back. —Michael Che    

A video has surfaced in which a quadruple amputee cornhole champion accused of a road-rage shooting is seen firing a semi-automatic rifle and standing on his head snorting drugs off a dollar bill. So, what's stopping you from living your best life? —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 
and Orwell’s 1984.”