I guess those brain surgeons weren't exactly rocket scientists (homemade weed pipes)

Some hospital workers in Kenya have been suspended after doctors performed brain surgery on the wrong patient. I guess those brain surgeons weren't exactly rocket scientists. --James Corden

A woman in Oregon has opened a business selling homemade weed pipes with Bernie's campaign logo on them. Weed pipes are the perfect gift for Bernie supporters. It's like getting a nice bottle of wine for a Hillary supporter, or getting somebody who wants to vote for Ted Cruz a machine gun made out of Bibles. –James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

a bold move that could change nothing (the beetle’s girlfriend)

Scientists just named a newly discovered beetle after Leonardo DiCaprio. Unfortunately, it froze in the ocean after the beetle’s girlfriend wouldn’t share part of a leaf — even though there was CLEARLY room on the leaf for both of them. --Jimmy Fallon

"Jamaica is reportedly close to passing a measure that would legalize marijuana. Yeah, in Jamaica. Political analysts are calling it a bold move that could change nothing." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

he's already put up the mission accomplished banner (It's like being married to a Kardashian)

"Former President Bush is writing his memoir. Writing his autobiography about his eight years in the White House. He's not done with it yet, but he's already put up the mission accomplished banner." –David Letterman

"It's been two years since the SEAL team busted in and got Osama bin Laden. On the night of the raid, the guy never knew what hit him. It's like being married to a Kardashian." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Because you’re not doing too good, either (Iranians, Ukrainians and comedians)

Donald Trump posted on Truth Social: “When is ABC Fake News Network firing seriously unfunny Jimmy Kimmel, who incompetently presides over one of the Lowest Rated shows on Television? People are angry. It better be soon!!! President DJT” Or what? If incompetently presiding over not just one of but the lowest rating in history is the reason I should be fired, we should both be out of a job. Because you’re not doing too good, either. —Jimmy Kimmel

“Isn’t there a war dragging on? Imagine if FDR had taken to the airwaves during the Battle of the Bulge to complain about a little orphan Annie comic strip that he didn’t like. Trump has three wars going on right now – Iranians, Ukrainians and comedians.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

there's no way he can drink enough to think that he made the right choice (the best argument for socialism)

A poultry farmer in India is demanding justice after 140 of his chickens dropped dead due to loud music at a nearby wedding. True. There hasn't been this many limp [ __ ] since the Sex in the City sequel. We also would have accepted lifeless. —Greg Gutfeld

Coors Light has introduced a new beer. It's Coors Light Zero, which has has no alcohol. The downside, well, there's no way Travis Kelsey can drink enough to think that he made the right choice. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

She was given a ticket for not having tinted windows (dad bods)

A woman was sentenced to 30 years for her role in hiding a decomposing corpse. So, congrats to law enforcement for finally nabbing Karine Jean-Pierre. —Greg Gutfeld

The Rock was pulled over in Hollywood and given a ticket for having tinted windows. Meanwhile, Kathy Griffin was given a ticket for not having tinted windows. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You know something is wrong when... (please stop comparing us to...)

Scientists say new artificial intelligence is finally decoding the secret language of whales. The whale's most common request. Greg, please stop comparing us to Joy Behar. —Greg Gutfeld

The New York Times is reporting that Jeffrey Epstein left a suicide note in his cell. Some questioned its authenticity, however, because it said, quote, "I can't live in a world without Hillary being president.” —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”