Shut up! No you shut Up! (Even I felt that burn!)

Things are really heating up between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. Hillary gave a speech yesterday attacking Trump, and then today, Trump gave a counter-speech attacking Hillary. Which means 2016 will always be remembered as the election of "Shut up" — "No, you shut up." –Jimmy Fallon

Hillary gave this speech about Trump yesterday and said, quote, "He's written a lot of books about business, but they all seem to end at Chapter 11." Then Bernie Sanders said, "Even I felt that burn!" –Jimmy Fallon

I read that 62% of Colorado high school students say that they had never used marijuana. Which raises the question, how stoned were the high school students who admitted to smoking marijuana? –Jimmy Fallon