"Cuban dictator Fidel
Castro is still in the hospital with a serious medical condition. Castro said
that a half century of Communist rule seemed like a good idea right up until
the point he was rushed to the hospital in a '55 Oldsmobile." --Conan
O'Brien
"In a speech in
Florida President Bush praised all the contributions Cubans have made to
America: catching, hitting, outfielding, shortstop. These were all major, major
contributions." --Jay Leno
"President Bush had
his annual medical exam this week. The doctors said the president remains in excellent
health and is fit for duty. In fact so fit today the National Guard called and
said 'So how about serving your time now?'. The doctors said his heart rate,
blood pressure and cholesterol are all pretty good. The only bad number is his
approval rating." --Jay Leno
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