"In Colorado, the
president of Coors Beer, Pete Coors, who lost the race for U.S. Senate a while
back, was arrested for drunk driving back in May. I can't believe he didn't win
the Senate race. You get busted for drunk driving, you try to cover it up. He's
obviously qualified to be senator." --Jay Leno
"Police in
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, have arrested an 80-year-old man and charged him with
selling crack. It's so sad to see what's happened to Dan Rather." --Jay
Leno
"The man who founded
the Hooters restaurant chain has passed away at the age of 69. In honor of his
passing, former President Bill Clinton flew his pants at half mass." --Jay
Leno
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