And this is while he was campaigning. Apparently for the Democrats (have the Russians pay for it)

Trump, I got to tell you, this guy, he is a different kind of politician. Normally, the-- the president, when the gas prices are high, are like, "We're sorry, we're gonna do anything we can." Trump is like, "Stop your bitching." Really, he said it yesterday. He said, "It's a very inexpensive price for what we're getting done in Iran." And this is while he was campaigning. Apparently for the Democrats. —Bill Maher 

This is his attitude. Stop your bitching about all high prices, not just gas, beef, everything else that's high. He says, "Save your money somewhere else." Buy bargain brands, get your own snacks at the movies. If your son is getting remarried, have the Russians pay for it. —Bill Maher 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

But wait, weren't you in charge for eight? (Now Ken has to go to medical school)

Experts warn New York Governor Kathy Hochul that the power will go out if she doesn't restart a nuclear plant, which is fine for her husband. He can only have sex with the lights off. —Greg Gutfeld 

Mattel is coming out with its first Jewish Barbie. Great. Now Ken has to go to medical school. —Greg Gutfeld 

Barack Obama said, "If we put women in charge for two years, I have a strong belief that things would be better." But wait, weren't you in charge for eight? —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Meanwhile, for some reason, Joe demanded to throw out the first pitch (wander off into the rainforest)

Bill Clinton attended the ceremony in New York City and out of respect, his boner was at half mast. —Greg Gutfeld 

All three living US presidents were at ground zero today and Joe Biden. During a ceremony speech, Bush, Clinton, and Obama prayed in silence. Meanwhile, for some reason, Joe demanded to throw out the first pitch. —Greg Gutfeld 

Hunter Biden said that he may have to consider running for president in 2028. He says he hopes to follow in his father's footsteps and wander off into the rainforest. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

 “A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

We're manipulated into directing our fear at everyone except those responsible (then he went back to his private island to hunt human prey)

"It's interesting to me that since they've been out of office, Dick Cheney has really got his nose out of joint. And now he is criticizing the Obama Administration for looking into the CIA torture policy. He says 'You shouldn't be looking into the CIA torturing policy.' He made that announcement, then he went back to his private island to hunt human prey." --David Letterman

"Dick Cheney accused Barack Obama of setting a 'terrible precedent.' That's what Cheney said, Obama is setting a 'terrible precedent,' not to be confused with George W. Bush, who was a terrible president. That's a different deal." --David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

he was busy drafting his new "mandatory Mexican gay weed" bill (National Tequila Day)

Republicans in Congress are getting concerned that President Obama will try to use the final year of his term to push through too many controversial laws. Obama would’ve responded but he was busy drafting his new "mandatory Mexican gay weed" bill. –Jimmy Fallon

Tomorrow is National Tequila Day. While the day after that is National "Janice From HR Wants to See You in Her Office” Day. --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He inspired the Mojidiot (Trump's Mt. Rushmore image)

"One of the candidates, Abdullah Abdullah, has dropped out of the running, and they think now his dumb son is thinking about running, Abdullah W. Abdullah." --David Letterman

"This is not the first time a president has inspired a cocktail. We have the Obamarita. And remember George W. Bush? He inspired the Mojidiot." --David Letterman

"The Republicans in Congress voted no on the minimum wage. Wow, that's not the Republicans I know. I think they're confused. We're supposed to apply the economic sanctions to the Russians." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I Can’t Believe This Is Necessary (Now where’s my check?)

Tonight, President Obama is going to make a speech trying to convince people to vote for Hillary Clinton instead of Donald Trump. It’s a speech entitled, "I Can’t Believe This Is Necessary." --Conan O’Brien

Hillary Clinton gave her big speech at the Democratic Convention this evening. And there was an awkward moment when she finished the speech and said, "Now where’s my check?" –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

he spent more nights with me this week than Melania (why not resign, and make this country great again)

Rosie O’Donnell signed off from guest-hosting “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on Thursday by thanking “everyone who’s been watching this week, especially the hungry, hungry hypocrite in the White House. It’s kind of weird to think he spent more nights with me this week than Melania.” — Rosie O’Donnell

Rosie O’Donnell also performed a new version of a traditional Irish ditty to close out her final monologue dedicated to a “very special boy.” [to the tune of ‘Danny Boy’] Poor Donny boy your polls, your polls are falling. Your reflecting pool is green as Mountain Dew. Your wig’s a mess, your ballroom is appalling, and with Iran you’ve bit off more than you can chew. Measles are back, inflation is a-swelling; you post all night, you’re sleeping while you work. And what’s with all this useless crap you’re selling? Hey, sweetie pie, you’re driving us all berserk. But there’s a way to end this drama. It’s time to use that stable-genius brain. Since we all know you’ll never be Obama, why not resign, and make this country great again? — Rosie O’Donnell

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

11 appearances on the cover of Mad magazine (in a way, haven't you already lost?)

"Seriously, the Olympic badminton players were apparently trying to lose on purpose, a big story. But really, think about it, if you train day and night for four years to be in the Olympics for badminton, in a way, haven't you already lost?" –Conan O'Brien

"This is true, though. This is Obama's 12th appearance on the cover of Time magazine. And this beats President Bush's record of 11 appearances on the cover of Mad magazine." --Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

he's a follower of the bearded radical from the Middle East (the strategic use of beer)

"Congratulations to Barack Obama -- he has won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. Apparently, the Nobel committee wanted to recognize the president's fine work in bringing peace to a black professor and a white cop through the strategic use of beer. " --Jay Leno

"Yesterday President Obama told voters that he's a Christian. But you see how Fox News reported it? They said Obama admits he's a follower of the bearded radical from the Middle East." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

 “A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

1,133 Ways to Make America Great Again and Other Random Thoughts (Poem by John Hulse)

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