"Good news from the
White House. President Bush last week had his annual physical and he passed. He
passed his annual physical. No word yet on the mental." --David Letterman
"A Tomahawk cruise missile
fell off a truck in the Bronx this week. A cruise missile, isn't that
unbelievable? You know what that means? There are now more weapons of mass
destruction in the Bronx than there are in Iraq." --Jay Leno
"When it gets hot, so
hot you can't stand it and the steam is rising from your scalp, do you worry
about global warming? Well, George Bush is now also worried about global
warming, but he has a plan. He's going to invade the sun." --David
Letterman
"A lot of people were
offended by President Bush using a four-letter word at the G-8 Summit the other
day. Were you offended? I was more offended by the way he eats a buttered roll
in front of company." --Jay Leno
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