every year is a little harder for him, thanks to Viagra

"Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton made an interesting statement. She said technology's getting so intrusive, she feared that soon American children will one day have a computer chip implanted in their brains. She said she is against that idea, however, she said she wouldn't mind having a low-jack installed in Bill's ass." --Jay Leno

"The heat wave is breaking records all across America. It was so hot in Washington, people are sweating like President Bush trying to spell Hezbollah." --Jay Leno

"Happy Birthday to Senator Bob Dole. Bob Dole turned 83 on Saturday. Bob said today every year is a little harder for him, thanks to Viagra." --Jay Leno