Democrats
staged a 26-hour sit-in on the floor of the House to try to force a vote on new
gun control legislation. You know the state of our Congress is terrible when
you see a bunch of politicians sitting on their [butts] and think to yourself,
“Wow, they’re finally doing something!” –Seth Meyers
Yesterday
House Speaker Paul Ryan referred to the Democratic-led sit-in for gun control
as “nothing more than a publicity stunt.” He then added, “Now if you’ll excuse
me, my party’s nominee has a WWE match to fight.” –Seth Meyers
Maserati
recently announced a recall for more than 13,000 cars because of a gearshift
problem. Coincidentally, a “gearshift problem” is what prompts most men to buy
a Maserati in the first place. –Seth Meyers
After
the protest began, Paul Ryan declared a recess and cut off C-SPAN's live feed.
Now, personally, I don't want to live in a world where Paul Ryan decides what's
on TV. I'm guessing it would just be P90X infomercials and "Top Gun"
24 hours a day. –Stephen Colbert
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