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Friday, June 24, 2016

Now if you’ll excuse me, my party’s nominee has a WWE match to fight (Top Gun)



Democrats staged a 26-hour sit-in on the floor of the House to try to force a vote on new gun control legislation. You know the state of our Congress is terrible when you see a bunch of politicians sitting on their [butts] and think to yourself, “Wow, they’re finally doing something!” –Seth Meyers
Yesterday House Speaker Paul Ryan referred to the Democratic-led sit-in for gun control as “nothing more than a publicity stunt.” He then added, “Now if you’ll excuse me, my party’s nominee has a WWE match to fight.” –Seth Meyers
Maserati recently announced a recall for more than 13,000 cars because of a gearshift problem. Coincidentally, a “gearshift problem” is what prompts most men to buy a Maserati in the first place. –Seth Meyers
After the protest began, Paul Ryan declared a recess and cut off C-SPAN's live feed. Now, personally, I don't want to live in a world where Paul Ryan decides what's on TV. I'm guessing it would just be P90X infomercials and "Top Gun" 24 hours a day. –Stephen Colbert


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