Now the first time you do it, it's always a little awkward (Gay Dudes)

"Congratulations, President Bush. I was getting worried. You had been in office for almost six years and hadn't done the dirty deed yet. Now the first time you do it, it's always a little awkward, so don't feel bad that you end up vetoing a bill that two-thirds of the country supports. But now that the first one is over, you're going to want to do it over and over. You're going to want to put your pen on anything that looks remotely like legislation. I got some good news in that area. You're probably going to have a lot of bills to veto after this November when the Democrats take back Congress." --Stephen Colbert

"The NAACP is holding their annual convention in Washington and tomorrow, the president is going to speak. Though they have their differences with President Bush, the NAACP has invited him to speak at every convention for the past five years. And the president has responded the way any great civil rights leader would -- with a boycott." --Stephen Colbert

"President Bush on Tuesday reluctantly released portions of the classified report that stated the war in Iraq is adding to the terrorist threat throughout the world. Though suspiciously in some portions of the report, someone had crossed out Iraq and written in, 'Gay dudes'." --Amy Poehler of Saturday Night Live