"I hope you've heard
the great news, America. We are winning. Yesterday, the New York Times made an
announcement. They're reducing the width of their newspaper by an inch and a
half. That's an inch and a half less of state secrets revealed every day."
--Stephen Colbert
"The chancellor of
Germany disengaged herself from the president of the United States using a move
she learned in date rape prevention class. If that was Clinton going in for
Merkel, somehow her bra would be off." --Jon Stewart, on Bush groping
German Chancellor Angela Merkel
"Since the bombing
began, Israel has tried to make it clear Hezbollah and Syria are to blame for
Lebanon's current nightmare. To that end, Israeli warplanes have dropped thousands
of leaflets on Beirut over the last few days showing a caricature of Hezbollah
chief Hassan Nasrallah as a cobra threatening the Lebanese capital. And really,
what a great idea, because if there's anything that calms the Arab world down,
it's a cartoon." --Jon Stewart
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