What have you done with the real President Bush? (Berlin Wall)

"President Bush went to Germany today. Did not go well. When he landed, he kept asking to see the Berlin Wall." --Jay Leno

"President Bush said we should be patient with North Korea. He said we should use diplomacy. We should not rush into any kind of military action until we are sure, absolutely sure, what we are doing. At which point Dick Cheney grabbed him by the throat and said, 'What have you done with the real President Bush?'" --Jay Leno

"Anybody here from Washington, D.C.? Anybody going to Washington, D.C.? Be careful. Crime is on the rise in Washington, D.C. It's bad down there. As a matter of fact, congressmen are afraid to walk around with their bribe money. It's so bad that today Lincoln was found duct taped to his chair." --David Letterman