idiocracy23: 2024

Saturday, April 27, 2024

The Duran: Blinken warns China. Sanctions, Proxy War and Regime Change

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Friday, April 26, 2024

It's just one more thing that I’m worse at than a 12-year-old girl (there goes the Pope's chance of being on the next season of Celebrity Apprentice)

Pope Francis stated that he did not think that Donald Trump is a true Christian because of Trump's beliefs on immigration. I know you're thinking there goes the Pope's chance of being on the next season of "Celebrity Apprentice." –James Corden

A 12-year-old girl in North Carolina correctly chose the final four in her bracket, it was amazing. Yeah, yeah, but great — just one more thing that I’m worse at than a 12-year-old girl. Basketball, math, arm wrestling, pull-ups, bench press, not crying. –James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

It is the one time of the year that everyone is thinking about their Gonzagas (more aggressive sales campaigns)

Starting next month, people in Queensland, Australia will be able to personalize their license plates using emojis. It just doesn’t sound quite as cool for a car chase though to be like, “Dispatch, we’re in pursuit of a suspect. License number: Winking Face, Winking Face, Crying Laugh, Sunglasses, Dancing Lady. I need backup, dammit!” --James Corden

The NCAA tournament continues, and according to a new study, the tournament leads to a 30% increase in vasectomies. Apparently men schedule the procedure so that they can recover while watching basketball. It is the one time of the year that everyone is thinking about their Gonzagas. --James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

NHL: Toronto Maple Leafs vs Montreal Canadiens (Jeanluc Picard Hat Trick)

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Finally, something Trump didn’t want to put his name on (medium height, medium build, and extremely circumcised)

At a hardware store in California, a man was caught on camera attempting to steal a chainsaw, but stuffing it down his pants. Honestly, let him keep hit. He earned that chainsaw more than anyone who ever paid for it. The suspect got away and police are describing him as medium height, medium build, and extremely circumcised. --James Corden

It’s being reported that a former doorman at a Trump building in New York was paid $30,000 to keep quiet about a rumor that Trump fathered an illegitimate child with his housekeeper in the 1980s. A secret illegitimate child. I don’t believe it. Finally, something Trump didn’t want to put his name on. --James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

MLB The Show: Arizona Diamondbacks vs Philadelphia Phillies (S16 NLDS)

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

I honestly don't know who to believe in all this (No one is going to stop you, there are no doors)

Housing prices are so high in the San Francisco Bay Area right now that a small one-story burned-out home is selling for — brace yourself — $800,000. It comes with two-and-a-half baths and two-and-a-half walls. The house is loaded with fun features like a fire pit out back, a fire pit in the kitchen, a fire pit in the living room, and all the bedrooms got fire pits. Why not save $800,000 and just move in now? No one is going to stop you, there are no doors. --James Corden

More fallout from the Stormy Daniels scandal. As you know, yesterday she released a sketch of a man she claimed threatened her about her relationship with the president. Well, this morning Donald Trump tweeted: "A sketch years later about a nonexistent man. A total con job, playing the fake news media for fools, but they know it!" Trump calls Stormy's claim "a total con job." I honestly don't know who to believe in all this — the desperate, money-hungry publicity-hound, or Stormy Daniels. --James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

#6 PACERS at #3 BUCKS | FULL GAME 2 HIGHLIGHTS | April 23, 2024

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

#2 NUGGETS at #7 LAKERS | FULL GAME 3 HIGHLIGHTS | April 25, 2024

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

which explains why this morning's 9 a.m. Mass was held at 2 p.m (he must taste delicious)

You know how sometimes when priests go to the Vatican they bring gifts for the Pope from their home region? Recently, a priest from Kentucky decided to give Pope Francis 10 bottles of whiskey — 10 bottles of whiskey, because nine's just not enough. Apparently, the Pope loves the Father, the Son, and ALL of the holy spirits. He got 10 bottles of whiskey, which explains why this morning's 9 a.m. Mass was held at 2 p.m. --James Corden

A 20-year-old man from Colorado recently survived a shark bite in Hawaii. Less than a year before that, he was attacked by a 300-pound black bear. And a few years before that, he was bitten by a rattlesnake while hiking. Based on these incidents, we do know a lot about this man. For example, he must taste delicious. --James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

If he gets tired, they're just going to put a wig on an air horn and hope nobody notices (fluffle)

I heard about a new study that found that not working out is even worse for your health than smoking. When they heard that, Americans were like, "Great. Smoking it is." --Jimmy Fallon

Guys, the midterm elections are coming up. And I saw that by election day, President Trump will have spoken at over 30 rallies in 5 weeks. The media says that's a lot of time to spend away from the White House, or as White House staffers put it, "Shut up." Yeah, I read that Trump is planning to hold 10 more rallies before November 6th. If he gets tired, they're just going to put a wig on an air horn and hope nobody notices. --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

You'd make a much better Vice President (a hint of shame)

Since his U.N. ambassador resigned yesterday, Trump says he's narrowed down his list of replacements to five people. He was like, "It'll either be Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kendall, or Kylie. Not saying who." Actually, Dennis Rodman went on Twitter and said that he should be the new U.N. ambassador. In response, Trump said, "That's ridiculous. You'd make a much better Vice President." --Jimmy Fallon

Get this -- a cheating scandal has rocked the world of wine tasting. That's right. It has rocked the world of wine tasting. A cheating scandal came out that some tasters were given the answers to an exam. The wine tasters say that they are embarrassed, a little humiliated, and there's a hint of shame. --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Thursday, April 25, 2024

Oh, my God, Kanye becomes President? (He got that wrong)

But Trump's been busy this morning. He published a "USA Today" op-ed about healthcare. A lot of people are saying it had several factual errors. Turns out a pharmacist isn't someone who works on a farm. And shingles isn't a tube of potato chips. That's not -- He got that wrong. --Jimmy Fallon

Let's get to some news. Today, guys, President Trump met with Kanye West at the White House. Incredible. If you would've told me 10 years ago that Trump and Kanye would be meeting at the White House, I would've said, "Oh, my God, Kanye becomes President?" --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Hey, that's the same pass code I use for the nuclear codes (4,000 gallons of fake blood)

You guys see this? During his meeting in the Oval Office, Kanye took out his cellphone and you could actually see his pass code when he typed it in. Watch this. 0-0-0-0-0-0. Then Trump said, "Hey, that's the same pass code I use for the nuclear codes." --Jimmy Fallon

I'm very excited about this. There's another new episode of "Game of Thrones" this weekend. I read that the show set a record by using 4,000 gallons of fake blood. Even crazier, the previous record holder? "Golden Girls." --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Indianapolis Colts Mock Draft (4/24/2024)

15 Laiatu Latu Edge UCLA

46 Ladd McConkey WR Georgia

82 Jaden Hicks S Washington State

117 Audric Estime RB Notre Dame

151 Beaux Limmer C Arkansas

191 Tarheeb Still CB Maryland

234 J.D. Bertrand LB Notre Dame

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Democracy Now: Bodies Recovered at Mass Graves in Nasser Hospital Bear Signs of Torture, Mutilation & Execution

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Democracy Now: Hundreds Arrested: Students Across U.S. Protest for Palestine as Campus Crackdown Intensifies

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Naomi Klein: Jews Must Raise Voices for Palestine, Oppose "False Idol of Zionism"

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

The Playboys - The Cat Walk (1965)

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Jimmy Dore: Proof Mehdi Hasan FIRED Over G@za Reporting!

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

TikTok BANNED By Biden, Congress: CEO Shou Chew RESPONDS

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Due Dissidence: Ro Khanna PRAISES Mike Johnson, Will PROTECT Him From Ouster Effort

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Tiktok Vs Cable: EXCLUSIVE POLL Reveals Israel Divide

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Due Dissidence: Biden SIGNS $95 BILLION WAR Package After LANDSLIDE Senate Vote

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

There would’ve been a middle school January 6th (tight locks)

In congressional news, the Senate voted on Wednesday to approve a bill that will either ban TikTok or force a sale of the short-form video app by its China-based parent company, ByteDance, within the year. A potential world without TikTok is terrifying. Without TikTok, where will I watch videos of wealthy teenagers crying in their cars? —Jimmy Kimmel

The Biden administration also decided to let elementary schools keep serving chocolate milk. Could you imagine if Biden banned TikTok and chocolate milk in the same week? There would’ve been a middle school January 6. —Jimmy Kimmel

Donald Trump continues to post on Truth Social and every post is in all caps, including the phrases “WITCH HUNT” and “ELECTION INTERFERENCE” with various levels of punctuation. He keeps his caps lock tighter than the door to Melania’s bedroom. —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”