"Hot outside today,
isn't it? It is so hot today that Al Gore has a new movie, 'An Inconvenient Rash.'" --David Letterman
"Last week Congress
found a topic everybody in any party could grandstand about. Violent video
games were the latest target of Washington's election year ire. The issue is
the video game industry's rating system. Many feel that the 'M' for 'Mature'
rating is too vague in describing content. Not to mention, completely
inaccurate to describe anyone who plays video games. They proposed a
three-tiered system that would start with 'D' for 'Dropout.' 'W' for 'Wastoid' and max out at 'CMB' for 'Child
in Man's Body.'" --Jon Stewart
"President Bush is in
Austria. He's trying to convince European leaders to eliminate agricultural
subsidies in order to promote global free trade. Yeah, he has no idea what that
means either." --David Letterman
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