Stem cells may be dangerous, especially if people talk on them while driving

"Vice President Dick Cheney said today when it comes to war, Americans need to know where he stands. Forget the war, I want to know where he stands when he goes on a hunting trip." --Jay Leno

"The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of his missiles seem to launch." --Jay Leno

"Earlier today, President Bush vetoed funding for stem cell research. See, I don't think he really understands these issues. President Bush said today, 'Stem cells may be dangerous, especially if people talk on them while driving.'" --Jay Leno