"Tense situation
right now in the Middle East. Earlier today, Israel completely destroyed
Hezbollah's TV station in Lebanon. The attack occurred half way through an
episode of 'Everybody Loves Hackalackal.'" --Conan O'Brien
"This morning the
Vatican weighed in on the crisis. The Vatican came out and condemned Israel's
attacks on Lebanon which is great, because all day yesterday, the Jews and
Muslims were asking, 'What do the Catholics think?'" --Conan O'Brien
"President Bush had
an awkward moment today. Did you hear about this? While President Bush was
greeting crowds in Germany today, he grabbed a baby from its mother and the
baby burst into tears. President Bush says he doesn't care how much the baby
cries, he's keeping the blankey." --Conan O'Brien
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