According to the latest vote totals, Democrats are now on pace to gain up to 40 seats in the House and lose only one to two seats in the Senate. Democrats reportedly celebrated by Googling how to celebrate. --Seth Meyers
Residents of a town in Missouri this week are complaining about the creation of a “bondage club” that operates next door to a church. The town filed a restraining order, but that just got them more excited. –Seth Meyers
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
"Mitt Romney says if he is elected he will create 12 million new
jobs in his first year in office – and that's just for people to do
his taxes." –Jay Leno
"Todd Akin, the Republican Senate candidate from Missouri, is under fire for his controversial comments that women who are 'legitimately raped are less likely to get pregnant.' The good news? Candidates who are legitimately that stupid are less likely to get elected." –Jay Leno
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
Donald Trump, who has about a month to raise half a billion dollars to pay his fraud judgments. But the more immediate financial threat to Trump is the $83.3 million he owes for his defamation of E Jean Carroll – Trump must post 110% of the verdict, or $91 million, in a cash bond by 9 March. You know the old saying: March comes in like a lion and goes out like a bankrupt sexual predator. —Stephen Colbert
Donald Trump’s legal team has tried numerous arguments to get out of the payments, the “craziest” one being that he shouldn’t have to post a bond at all because he’s “too rich”. You can’t argue with that logic – ‘oh also, your honor, I shouldn’t have to go to jail because I’m too guilty’. The judge rejected the argument, after he stopped laughing. —Stephen Colbert
The controversial Alabama ruling that IVF embryos constitute a “person”, thus freezing fertility treatments in the state surprised a lot of people. The Alabama court ruling follows 14 other “fetal personhood” bills introduced in state legislatures in 2023, which have already taken effect in Georgia and Missouri. On the bright side, if you’re a pregnant woman driving in Missouri, you can now use the carpool lane … to drive out of Missouri. —Stephen Colbert
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
"A hurricane is scheduled to hit Tampa during the Republican Convention. These winds are so strong they could actually blow some of Mitt Romney's money back in the United States." –Jay Leno
"President Bush met with the Dalai Lama today at the White House. Another awkward moment. When the Dalai Lama showed up, Bush said, 'So, where's the lama?'" --Jay Leno
"Todd Akin, the Republican Senate candidate from Missouri, is under fire for his controversial comments that women who are 'legitimately raped are less likely to get pregnant.' The good news? Candidates who are legitimately that stupid are less likely to get elected." –Jay Leno
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
"This morning in Washington, President Bush attended the 6th Annual Hispanic Prayer Breakfast. At the breakfast, President Bush showed off his Spanish by ordering 'El Capitan Cruncho.'" --Conan O'Brien
"Mitt Romney says he plans to differentiate himself from President Bush with a single word -- 'intelligence.' When he heard this, President Bush said, 'Intelligence? That's two words.'" --Conan O'Brien
For the first time ever, the Miss America Pageant is going to have a gay contestant, Miss Missouri. It will also have its first bi contestant, Miss North and South Dakota. –Conan O’Brien
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
The House Ethics Committee has announced an investigation into George Santos. Well, thank God I’m not George Santos, said George Santos. —Michael Che
The U.S. Energy Department concluded that Covid likely originated from a Wuhan laboratory leak and not a wet market. So I gave up eating bats for nothing? —Michael Che
Fisherman in Florida have discovered a 214 year old clam that was born the same year as Abraham Lincoln. The clam credits its longevity to staying away from the theater. —Michael Che
A man in Missouri is planning to turn an abandoned jail into an AirBNB rental, which will make it the first jail that refuses to accept black people. —Michael Che
It was announced that Puerto Rico’s only zoo is closing after years of alleged animal neglect. Worse, the zoo’s closing is being advertised as all you can eat. —Michael Che
A California man has set a new world record by visiting Disneyland for 2,995 consecutive days, but still no sign of his kids. —Michael Che
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
A pair of zebras got loose in downtown Philadelphia this weekend after escaping from a nearby circus. They were chased down and captured almost immediately by Eagles fans who mistook them for referees. –Seth Meyers
Residents of a town in Missouri this week are complaining about the creation of a “bondage club” that operates next door to a church. The town filed a restraining order, but that just got them more excited. –Seth Meyers
Today was National Pickle Day. To celebrate, Trump is in one. --Seth Meyers
Friday was “World Vasectomy Day.” Which meant that Saturday was Frozen Peas Day. –Seth Meyers
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
"Todd Akin, the Republican Senate candidate from Missouri, is under fire for his controversial comments that women who are 'legitimately raped are less likely to get pregnant.' The good news? Candidates who are legitimately that stupid are less likely to get elected." –Jay Leno
"Fellow Republicans are calling for Todd Akin to step down. But Democrats are going 'Stay in! Don’t be a quitter. Hang in there.'" –Jay Leno
"At a campaign stop in Ohio, a group of senior citizens greeted Republican Vice President nominee Paul Ryan and yelled 'Good luck!' It’s good to see the cast of 'The Expendables 2' is everywhere this week." –Jay Leno
“Todd Akin announced that he is staying in the race. Is that a surprise? A guy who that so little about a woman's body doesn't know when it's time to pull out." –Jay Leno
"Mitt Romney says if he is elected he will create 12 million new jobs in his first year in office – and that's just for people to do his taxes." –Jay Leno
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
