And I think, no touching, would just be a great new rule in general (this is a pretty fun week)

February 2021

Well if you hate Ted Cruz, this is a pretty fun week. —Colin Jost

Ted Cruz looks like someone whose face is being slowly reclaimed by nature. —Colin Jost

Many conservatives in Texas are falsely blaming the states power outages on renewable energy sources. While other conservative think the power outages are more likely the result of gay marriage. —Colin Jost

Krispy Kreme is marking the landing of the rover on Mars by offering a limited edition doughnut modeled after Mars. It’s different from their usual donut which is modeled after Uranus. —Colin Jost

Catholic leaders issued new pandemic guidelines for Ash Wednesday discouraging priests from wiping ashes directly off people’s foreheads. And I think, no touching, would just be a great new rule in general. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A poet that belongs with the Masters. A magisterial collection. A combination of 

Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

He is so conservative he won't even acknowledge the planet Uranus (He writes off poor people)

February 2012

“Rick Santorum's tax returns show that last year, he paid double the tax rate that Mitt Romney paid. Romney is much more clever with the deductions. He writes off poor people.” –Jay Leno

“Rick Santorum is conservative; he's so conservative he won't even use a weed whacker. That's how conservative.” –Jay Leno

“Rick Santorum is so conservative that after his last colonoscopy he went to confession. That’s how bad.” –Jay Leno

“He is so conservative he thinks male bankers should only screw over female customers. That's how bad.” –Jay Leno

“He's so conservative he won't even go to Home Depot to get wood. That's how bad.” –Jay Leno

“He is so conservative he won't even acknowledge the planet Uranus. That's how bad...” –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Authorities Finger Assistant Councilman in Probe (Mayor of Uranus)

A small town in Missouri recently launched a newspaper called The Examiner. The mayor is upset about this and to understand why, you need to know that the town is called — I promise this is real — Uranus. So the newspaper that they launched is The Uranus Examiner. --James Corden

Now, the mayor wants the name changed. She thinks it opens up the town to ridicule. Though it's hard to command any respect when your official title is "Mayor of Uranus." --James Corden

But the city has bigger issues. They're facing a scandal. The Uranus Examiner covered it here: "Authorities Finger Assistant Councilman in Probe." --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”