It's our job to do the exact opposite (that's going to drive good people out of the fraud business)

"The House passed a bill where there's a tax now of 90% on the bonuses that these people get. So, half the Republicans voted against this. They said this is exactly the kind of punitive taxation that's going to drive good people out of the fraud business." --Bill Maher 

It's a bullish market. Lobbyists who used to just lease a congressman are now buying. --Bill Maher

"Marvel Comics announced that the next Captain America will be black. He has the same powers as white Captain America except he has to show ID when he votes." –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They said this is exactly the kind of punitive taxation that's going to drive good people out of the fraud business (teeth care for the elderly)

"The House passed a bill where there's a tax now of 90% on the bonuses that these CEOs get. So, half the Republicans voted against this. They said this is exactly the kind of punitive taxation that's going to drive good people out of the fraud business." --Bill Maher 

"Marvel Comics announced that the next Captain America will be black. He has the same powers as white Captain America except he has to show ID when he votes." –Bill Maher

"But you know who might be the perfect Mitt Romney Vice President? Tim Pawlenty. He almost makes Mitt Romney look interesting, in the way that a blank sheet of paper makes a sheet of paper with a smudge on it look interesting." –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They're trying so hard to get black people to stay in their homes, it looks like election day down there (Layers of Protection)

"People in Florida are pretty worried about the George Zimmerman acquittal. They're trying so hard to get black people to stay in their homes, it looks like election day down there." –Bill Maher

"Sarah Palin said she may run for the Senate. She said being a U.S. senator is a job she's always dreamed of resigning from." –Bill Maher

"Marvel Comics announced that the next Captain America will be black. He has the same powers as white Captain America except he has to show ID when he votes." –Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Apparently, she has never celebrated Halloween in San Francisco (The first rule of Orgy Club is...)

"Tough times all over. Amusement park company Six Flags is filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. Experts say it's due in large part to their money-losing ride, Chrysler Mountain." --Conan O'Brien

"Rep. Michele Bachmann once said that gay people lead a very sad life. Apparently, she has never celebrated Halloween in San Francisco." –Conan O'Brien

"It's been reported Marvel Comics is getting set to bring back Captain America. They're going to do this as soon as they get a loan from Captain China." --Conan O'Brien

"A Tea Party group has a summer camp for kids, the only one where they sit around the campfire and tell scary stories about taxing the top 2%." –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And I speak for all New Yorkers when I say, that sounds pretty low (birthdays)

February 2022

This week the FDA granted the first condom approved for anal sex. It took them this long because their wives would only let them test it on their birthdays. —Michael Che

A new book claims that while Donald Trump was president White House staff routinely found wads of paper clogging the toilet. So either he tried to flush classified documents, or he eats the wrappers. —Michael Che

In the days after New York City mayor Eric Adams announced the new plan to stop violence in the city’s transit system, six people were stabbed on the subway. And I speak for all New Yorkers when I say, that sounds pretty low. —Michael Che

A dog in California that went missing 12 years ago was found and returned to her owner. After spending more than a decade living at Dave’s Taxidermy Shop. —Michael Che

 This year marks the 50th anniversary of one of Marvel Comics first black superheroes, Luke Cage. In the comics Luke Cage faces off against black people’s most powerful enemy of the 1970s, Lead Paint. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

or, as Samuel L. Jackson calls it, one year of work (at least their error screen was really cute)

“Well, it’s a good day to be inside because the new Disney streaming service launched today. Yep, Disney Plus is available and it features almost 500 movies. Five hundred movies or, as Samuel L. Jackson calls it, one year of work.” --Jimmy Fallon

“But Disney Plus is pretty amazing. It features all the movies from Marvel, Star Wars and Pixar. And just to compete with Netflix, it also features a thousand stand-up specials from Disney characters you’ve never heard of.” --Jimmy Fallon

“Disney Plus launched today and almost immediately crashed, which is too bad, but at least their error screen was really cute.” --Trevor Noah

“Now, a lot of people are disappointed that they couldn’t watch Disney Plus because, I mean, where else are they going to watch TV now?” --Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

These Blueberry Scones are to Die For (Captain China)

"It's been reported Marvel Comics is getting set to bring back Captain America. They're going to do this as soon as they get a loan from Captain China." --Conan O'Brien

"Tough times all over. Amusement park company Six Flags is filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. Experts say it's due in large part to their money-losing ride, Chrysler Mountain." --Conan O'Brien

"This is weird. The state of New Hampshire is projecting an additional $55 million in revenue, now that they've legalized gay marriage. Yeah, as a result, the state motto has been changed from 'Live Free or Die' to 'These Blueberry Scones are to Die For.'" --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

the next movie they're adding at least two more Hemsworths (In just 3 easy steps!)

Marvel's "Avengers: Infinity War" broke the [domestic] box-office record for opening weekend with $250 million in ticket sales. $250 million — that's nearly one dollar for every character. --James Corden

That's so much money, The Hulk is finally able to afford anger management classes. That's so much money, Iron Man is going to be Gold Man. That's so much money, in the next movie they're adding at least two more Hemsworths. --James Corden

Scientists in Australia just announced that the world's oldest known spider has died. The spider died at the age of 43 and is survived by 75 bazillion children. --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

In the nightclub's defense, the horse's ID looked real (My thoughts to your thoughts)

On Friday, Marvel announced that there will be a Black Panther sequel. Marvel's CEO said, "It was a difficult decision but ultimately we decided to make another billion dollars." --Conan O’Brien

Costco is selling a Doomsday food kit that can feed a typical family for a year. Walmart sells the same kit, but it only feeds a typical Walmart family for six days. --Conan O’Brien

A nightclub in Miami has lost its business license after a woman brought a horse onto the dance floor. In the nightclub's defense, the horse's ID looked real. --Conan O’Brien

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Even guys who go to Hooters for the wings were like, “Yeah, right.”

President Trump just did an interview where he wondered why the Civil War ever happened. Then Education Secretary Betsy DeVos said, “That’s easy, Captain America and Iron Man got in a big fight.” –Jimmy Fallon

Trump defended all his trips that he’s made to his golf courses, saying that he only goes there to hold meetings. Even guys who go to Hooters for the wings were like, “Yeah, right.” –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

he was probably drinking when we planned the invasion of Iraq (I'm Batman!)

"The comic book makers of 'Batman' have announced that Batman will go after Osama bin Laden. So you see Bush does have a plan." --David Letterman

"Rumors are that the reason  Dick Cheney didn't say anything about the  hunting accident for about 24 hours was because he had been drinking. And I'm thinking, well jeez, he was probably drinking when we planned the invasion of Iraq."  --David Letterman

"In the Olympics, United States leads in gold medals with six but we’re behind in bronze medals. I don’t think Bush quite understands this. Did you hear what he said today? What don’t we take some of these gold medals and get them bronzed." --Jay Leno

During the 21-gun salute, Dick Cheney returned fire (Batman vs Bin Laden)

"There's a new comic book where Batman goes after Osama Bin Laden. You thought radical Muslims hated cartoons before?" --Jay Leno

"Actually, one awkward moment today in Washington. During the 21-gun salute, Dick Cheney returned fire." --Jay Leno

"Dick Cheney is on vacation. He's out in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, and so far he has shot two skiers." --David Letterman

"Osama bin-Laden says 'the U.S. will never get me alive'. I think that's probably true. He is going to die of old age." --David Letterman

Trump is stealing lines from Clint Eastwood (Bad hombres?)

Now, probably the weirdest thing Trump said during the evening was when he was talking about immigration, saying we have some “bad hombres” here. Bad hombres? First Melania Trump steals lines from Michelle Obama, now Trump is stealing lines from Clint Eastwood. –James Corden

We have a superhero on the show — Benedict Cumberbatch is with us. He stars in the new Marvel movie “Dr. Strange.” It’s the story of a former neurosurgeon who gets drawn into a bizarre world he knows little to nothing about. It’s based on the life of Dr. Ben Carson. –Jimmy Kimmel

Last night from Las Vegas, “Trump vs. Clinton 3” — and just like that, we’re one step closer to never having to watch cable news again. It was the third most watched debate in history. More than 71 million people watched/screamed at their TV. –Jimmy Kimmel

Said black voters, “We’re not at this rally.” (So, congratulations to my ex-girlfriend)

Donald Trump yesterday continued his attempts to appeal to black voters, telling attendees at a rally, “What the hell do you have to lose? Give me a chance!” Said black voters, “We’re not at this rally.” –Seth Meyers

The Trump campaign recently announced that Donald Trump will be delaying his major address on immigration that was originally scheduled to take place on Thursday. So if you want to know where Trump stands on immigration, you’ll just have to wait until a year ago. –Seth Meyers

Marvel announced today that it will be launching a female reboot of Iron Man, starring a character named Ironheart. So, congratulations to my ex-girlfriend. –Seth Meyers

They’ve been charged with two counts of "Deserving each other." (Robert Downey Jr.)

A couple in North Carolina was arrested for attacking each other with pizza rolls. They’ve been charged with two counts of "Deserving each other." –Conan O’Brien

Marvel announced that the next Iron Man will be an African-American woman. However, in keeping with Hollywood tradition, she will still be played by Robert Downey Jr. –Conan O’Brien

The Juno satellite probe which hasn’t been heard from in five years and has been traveling through deep space finally reached Jupiter yesterday and reestablished contact with Earth. The Jupiter satellite’s first message was, "The Republican Nominee is WHO?" –Conan O’Brien

Have you met a straight guy in this shape?

The electronics company LG identified a new phenomenon called low-battery anxiety. People become nervous, distracted, and frustrated when their phones are about to die. If you are not familiar with low-battery anxiety, it's a real condition that primarily affects people with no actual problems. –James Corden

Trump won a primary last night. He got 76 percent. John Kasich got 9.8 percent. Somehow Kasich is doing better since he dropped out. –Jimmy Kimmel

There's a movement online, a hashtag, called #GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend. They want Marvel Comics to make Captain America gay. I wouldn't be surprised if he already is. Have you met a straight guy in this shape? –Jimmy Kimmel

X-Men use their superpowers to try and stop the Backstreet Boys

The producers of the X-Men movies say their next X-Men movie will take place in the 1990s. In it, the X-Men use their superpowers to try and stop the Backstreet Boys. –Conan O’Brien

At this moment, a 7-Eleven cashier from Connecticut is trying to become the first woman to climb Mt. Everest seven times. She said, "If I can survive a 7-Eleven hot dog, I can survive anything." –Conan O’Brien

Google has created several new emojis aimed at empowering women. So congratulations women, you asked for equal pay and you got five new emojis. –Conan O’Brien

We're going to attack you, but first you should eat

"Before the incursion that started yesterday the Israeli's agreed to a five hour cease fire so the Palestinians could get supplies and food - how Jewish is that? 'We're going to attack you, but first you should eat.'" –Bill Maher



"Marvel Comics announced that the next Captain America will be black. He has the same powers as white Captain America except he has to show ID when he votes." –Bill Maher



"Edward Snowden is back with yet another spying scandal. In a new interview, Snowden revealed that NSA employees regularly pass around nude pictures of people they spy on. It got even weirder when German Chancellor Angela Merkel said, 'So, vat do you think?'" –Jimmy Fallon