he made himself waterproof (His plan is working)

It’s been one week since Donald Trump announced his bold vision for destroying the economy. And guess what? His plan is working. — Desi Lydic

I’m not an economist, but it’s probably a bad sign when the chart of the Dow Jones drop, looks like it jumped off the roof. Look at that drop! Six Flags is going to make a roller coaster of that. — Desi Lydic

“Trump said that he has to stand under the shower for 15 minutes before he gets wet. I think the problem is Trump wears so much bronzer, he made himself waterproof.” — Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The only problem is if you hit a bug, you die (don’t drink that Snapple you found on the subway)

A fist fight almost broke out at a congressional hearing after senator Markwayne Mullen challenged the president of the Teamsters Union to a fist fight. He challenged the president of the Teamsters Union to a fight? Does he have a death wish? The two things I learned growing up in New York were, never mess with the Teamsters, and don’t drink that Snapple you found on the subway. —Colin Jost

Six Flags has unveiled a plan for a new roller coaster, which will be the world’s tallest and fastest with a 600 foot drop that reaches a speed of 150 miles per hour. The only problem is if you hit a bug, you die. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Apparently, she has never celebrated Halloween in San Francisco (The first rule of Orgy Club is...)

"Tough times all over. Amusement park company Six Flags is filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. Experts say it's due in large part to their money-losing ride, Chrysler Mountain." --Conan O'Brien

"Rep. Michele Bachmann once said that gay people lead a very sad life. Apparently, she has never celebrated Halloween in San Francisco." –Conan O'Brien

"It's been reported Marvel Comics is getting set to bring back Captain America. They're going to do this as soon as they get a loan from Captain China." --Conan O'Brien

"A Tea Party group has a summer camp for kids, the only one where they sit around the campfire and tell scary stories about taxing the top 2%." –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Of course, all the money he saved is now going to doctors to get his cholesterol down from 1,000 (Boom! Free health care)

October 2021

“I heard about a guy who bought a Six Flags annual pass. How about this deal: You get the Six Flags annual pass, right? That allows you to get unlimited food for $150. He’s eaten nearly all of his meals at Six Flags ever since. Of course, all the money he saved is now going to doctors to get his cholesterol down from 1,000.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Yeah, that dude fed himself for 50 cents a day. Genius! We should get him to fix all the world’s economies before he dies from gout.” —Trevor Noah

“Right now the Democrats are struggling to figure out how to pay for health care. This guy — this guy would solve it. He’d probably just come in and be like, ‘All you have to do is go to the first-aid tent at Six Flags and tell them the roller coaster gave you lupus. Boom! Free health care.’” —Trevor Noah

“But I will say, man, props to this guy for gaming the system. This is the kind of [expletive] you can only get away with at Six Flags, you know, because they’re a chilled amusement park. If you tried this at Disney, oh man, Mickey wouldn’t mess around. He’d have you hanging by your thumbs in the castle dungeon.” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Next month he’s taking Al Qaeda to Six Flags, did you know that? (I’ll believe it when I hear it from the Taliban)

“So Trump’s planned meeting with the Taliban fell through. But Next month he’s taking Al Qaeda to Six Flags, did you know that?” --Jimmy Kimmel

“So the Taliban refused to come to America and Trump tweeted out, ‘No, I’m breaking up with you guys!’” --Trevor Noah

“Yeah, I know, I know, I’m thinking the exact same thing — I really hope him canceling doesn’t damage America’s relationship with the Taliban.” --James Corden

“And if you’re wondering where we are as a nation, my first thought was, ‘I don’t know, I’ll believe it when I hear it from the Taliban.’” --Seth Meyers

“Can you imagine if that meeting had happened and it had gone … like if someone in their group complimented him? We’d have video right now of the president saying, ‘I love the Taliban. They’re great guys.’” --Jimmy Kimmel

“Of course this is especially fascinating because back in 2012 Trump tweeted this: ‘While Barack Obama is slashing the military he’s also negotiating with our sworn enemy the Taliban, who facilitated 9/11.’ That was written by the man who not only did he invite the Taliban over for a sleepover, last week he slashed $3.6 billion from the military to build his wall.” --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

These Blueberry Scones are to Die For (Captain China)

"It's been reported Marvel Comics is getting set to bring back Captain America. They're going to do this as soon as they get a loan from Captain China." --Conan O'Brien

"Tough times all over. Amusement park company Six Flags is filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. Experts say it's due in large part to their money-losing ride, Chrysler Mountain." --Conan O'Brien

"This is weird. The state of New Hampshire is projecting an additional $55 million in revenue, now that they've legalized gay marriage. Yeah, as a result, the state motto has been changed from 'Live Free or Die' to 'These Blueberry Scones are to Die For.'" --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I've got to drink before this thing (the same CNN news alert over and over)

Trump announced that he signed an executive order to keep Guantanamo Bay open. Of course, Trump thinks Guantanamo Bay is a water park at Six Flags. --Jimmy Fallon

First lady Melania Trump held her own White House reception before the State of the Union. Yep, even the first lady was like, "I've got to drink before this thing." --Jimmy Fallon

Yesterday, a glitch kept sending iPhones the same CNN news alert repeatedly. But if I wanted to be annoyed by the same CNN news alert over and over, I'd just watch CNN for five minutes. --Jimmy Fallon

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Trumpspeak/clean pair of underwear/Lies are Truth

     

Elon Musk recently announced that the government has approved a plan for something called a "Hyperloop" that will transport people between New York and D.C. in just 29 minutes. 

"Hyperloop?" I don't know how much I trust [that as] public transportation. That sounds like it should be a ride at Six Flags. Apparently this thing shoots people through a tube at 700 miles an hour! And, when you arrive in New York it drops you straight off at Macy's so you can buy a clean pair of underwear. 

It can get you out of Washington, D.C., and into New York City in 29 minutes. Or, as Melania Trump calls it, not fast enough. –James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #repealreplacerepublicans #FeeltheBern #Bernie2020 @BrandNew535 @justicedems