It's the first pizza where they promise to deliver an ambulance in 30 minutes (he made a Djibouti call)

Cameron Crowe has issued an apology for casting Emma Stone as an Asian woman in his new movie. He also announced that his next film about Malcolm X will no longer star Benedict Cumberbatch.—Conan O’Brien

Pizza Hut announced it will be unveiling a pizza whose crust is stuffed with hot dogs. It's the first pizza where they promise to deliver an ambulance in 30 minutes.—Conan O’Brien

"Today Secretary of State John Kerry visited the small African nation of Djibouti. Or to use the official diplomatic term, he made a Djibouti call." –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's the first pizza where they promise to deliver an ambulance in 30 minutes. (I do not stand with...)

Pizza Hut announced it will be unveiling a pizza whose crust is stuffed with hot dogs. It's the first pizza where they promise to deliver an ambulance in 30 minutes.—Conan O’Brien

First lady Melania Trump has officially, as of today, moved into the White House. In a related story, Donald Trump just moved from the Lincoln Bedroom to the Lincoln Couch. –Conan O’Brien

Cameron Crowe has issued an apology for casting Emma Stone as an Asian woman in his new movie. He also announced that his next film about Malcolm X will no longer star Benedict Cumberbatch.—Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

They’re also not thrilled about the new James Brown biopic starring Benedict Cumberbatch (Pantsuit Email Crunch)

A lot of people are upset because in a new movie, Michael Jackson will be played by British white actor Joseph Fiennes. They’re also not thrilled about the new James Brown biopic starring Benedict Cumberbatch. –Conan O’Brien

"Today, the Olympic torch arrived in Sochi. But Vladimir Putin immediately put it out because he thought it was too flaming." –Conan O'Brien

Ben of Ben & Jerry’s is coming out with an ice cream for Bernie Sanders called "Bernie’s Yearning." It’s selling a lot better than Jerry’s ice cream for Hillary, "Pantsuit Email Crunch." –Conan O’Brien

McDonald’s now has a special kind of Happy Meal that comes with a book instead of a toy. The book is called, "D is for Diabetes." –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Which finally explains why the new governor of Wyoming is Anna Kournikova (he doesn’t have time to learn the language)

It’s being reported that in the 2016 elections, Russia interfered with voting systems in at least 39 states. Which finally explains why the new governor of Wyoming is Anna Kournikova. –Conan O’Brien

It’s been reported that President Trump is so worried about protests that he is postponing his upcoming trip to England. Trump is also worried he doesn’t have time to learn the language. –Conan O’Brien

A new report just came out and it found that the employees at a Trump clothing factory in Indonesia are subject to low wages and verbal abuse. And even they wouldn’t change places with Sean Spicer. –Conan O’Brien

Cameron Crowe has issued an apology for casting Emma Stone as an Asian woman in his new movie. He also announced that his next film about Malcolm X will no longer star Benedict Cumberbatch.—Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I’m the Least Worst (Oligarchy Repair Kit)

"The Super Bowl this year will be played in Governor Chris Christie's home state of New Jersey. It's a state that lately has gotten used to 300-pound guys blocking things." –Conan O'Brien

A lot of people are upset because in a new movie, Michael Jackson will be played by British white actor Joseph Fiennes. They’re also not thrilled about the new James Brown biopic starring Benedict Cumberbatch. –Conan O’Brien

A member of Marco Rubio’s inner circle said his boss benefitted from the Trump-Cruz fight because, "Marco is everyone’s second choice." That explains Rubio’s new campaign slogan, "I’m the Least Worst." –Conan O’Brien

"Computer technicians in Washington say they have found 22 million missing emails from President George W. Bush's Administration. And you can tell the emails are from the Bush Administration because they all begin, 'Dear Santa.'" –Conan O'Brien

Today, Queen Elizabeth stepped down as the patron of children’s charities. The queen said, “I just realized I really hate kids.” –Conan O’Brien

Chipotle is now being accused of gender discrimination. A spokesperson for Chipotle said, "That’s not true, we serve both E. coli and She. coli." –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Even Benedict Cumberbatch was like "That doctor looks strange." (Trump's medical charts)

Donald Trump's former personal doctor, Harold Bornstein, revealed that last year three Trump associates raided his office and took Trump's medical charts. Now, you all remember Trump's personal doctor in New York, right? Here he is here. [Bornstein photo] That's really Trump's former doctor. Just judging by his looks, I'm going to guess this wasn't the first time his office was raided. I bet it wasn't even the first time it was raided that day. --James Corden

I don't know exactly how the doctor reacted to the raid but I'm guessing it was along of the lines of "Hey man, don't touch that, man." "Can you not — dude, come on man!" Even Benedict Cumberbatch was like "That doctor looks strange." --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Trump is stealing lines from Clint Eastwood (Bad hombres?)

Now, probably the weirdest thing Trump said during the evening was when he was talking about immigration, saying we have some “bad hombres” here. Bad hombres? First Melania Trump steals lines from Michelle Obama, now Trump is stealing lines from Clint Eastwood. –James Corden

We have a superhero on the show — Benedict Cumberbatch is with us. He stars in the new Marvel movie “Dr. Strange.” It’s the story of a former neurosurgeon who gets drawn into a bizarre world he knows little to nothing about. It’s based on the life of Dr. Ben Carson. –Jimmy Kimmel

Last night from Las Vegas, “Trump vs. Clinton 3” — and just like that, we’re one step closer to never having to watch cable news again. It was the third most watched debate in history. More than 71 million people watched/screamed at their TV. –Jimmy Kimmel

Leonardo DiCaprio met with Pope Francis

Nearly 70 percent of Americans said a Trump presidency would make them "anxious." And 30 percent said a Trump presidency would make them "Canadian." –Conan O’Brien

Today, Leonardo DiCaprio met with Pope Francis. In terms of number of sexual partners, those two are known as "the spectrum" –Conan O’Brien

A lot of people are upset because in a new movie, Michael Jackson will be played by British white actor Joseph Fiennes. They’re also not thrilled about the new James Brown biopic starring Benedict Cumberbatch. –Conan O’Brien

8 pounds, 2 ounces, and 20 syllables

A new study says that chimpanzees occasionally drink too much fermented palm sap, which causes them to act drunk. Researchers could tell the chimps were drunk when one of them suggested karaoke.—Jimmy Fallon

Congrats to Benedict Cumberbatch and his wife, who just welcomed a baby boy. Now the real challenge: finding a name other than Benedict that actually goes with Cumberbatch. --Jimmy Fallon

Benedict Cumberbatch and his wife just welcomed a baby boy. The baby was 8 pounds, 2 ounces, and 20 syllables. --Jimmy Fallon

Malcolm X will no longer star Benedict Cumberbatch

Cameron Crowe has issued an apology for casting Emma Stone as an Asian woman in his new movie. He also announced that his next film about Malcolm X will no longer star Benedict Cumberbatch.—Conan O’Brien

Delta Air Lines is experimenting with pre-loading carry-on bags to speed up the boarding process. And if there's any phrase that fills me with terror, it's "Delta Air Lines is experimenting."—Seth Meyers