And it's already announced its support for Trump for president (an elevator that can take you into space)

At Ohio State University, it was just announced that a tiny human brain has been grown in a lab. Isn't that crazy? And it's already announced its support for Trump for president. –Conan O’Brien

A company is developing an elevator that can take you into space. Don't you hate it when you're going to Jupiter and someone gets on the elevator and presses "Mars"? –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I'm Mitt Romney, and I fired all these people (not Osama bin Laden)

"Mitt Romney just released a new campaign ad about the economy featuring out-of-work Americans. It gets weird at the end when he says, 'I'm Mitt Romney, and I fired all these people.'" –Jimmy Fallon

I read that a NASA spacecraft, “Juno,” that launched in 2011 is scheduled to arrive at Jupiter in July to take pictures of the planet. When asked what kind of camera it brought, Juno was like, “Crap!” --Jimmy Fallon

"Did you hear about this? In Afghanistan, the U.S. has discovered large deposits of iron, copper, cobalt, gold, and lithium. Or, as most people would call it, 'not Osama bin Laden.'" –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

For the whole 20-hour flight home, Trump was blasting Taylor Swift (Nobody knows what they’re doing)

President Trump left his summit with Kim Jong-un early because they couldn't reach an agreement. Yep, he walked out on Kim, but before he drove away, Trump rolled the window down, and he said, "I just want to take another look at you." It really seemed like they were getting along, but Trump took off before the summit was finished. I don't want to call it a breakup, but for the whole 20-hour flight home, Trump was blasting Taylor Swift. --Jimmy Fallon

Over the weekend, Vice President Mike Pence tweeted his support for Israel, but accidentally used an emoji of the Nicaraguan flag instead of the Israeli flag. The White House says there’s a perfectly good reason why he did it: Nobody knows what they’re doing. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

One time in college (Raise your hand if...)

Donald Trump unveiled his immigration policy and now he's getting a lot of flak. His policy would have prevented his own grandfather from coming to America. That explains his new campaign slogan: "Vote Trump to prevent another Trump." –Conan O’Brien

A company is developing an elevator that can take you into space. Don't you hate it when you're going to Jupiter and someone gets on the elevator and presses "Mars"? –Conan O’Brien

"In order to acknowledge gay members, Facebook added two new relationship options: 'In a civil union' and 'In a domestic partnership.' Then, to make sure they didn’t miss anyone, they added 'One time in college.'" –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

The cause of the toxic waste... (Just what kind of life form?)

Recent photos sent from the Galileo space probe orbiting Jupiter's moon Europa suggest that it meets the conditions necessary to support a primitive life form. Just what kind of life form? You guessed it, Frank Stallone. --Norm Macdonald, SNL

According to the EPA it will cost an estimated two hundred and ninety five million dollars to clean up toxic waste at the former Lockheed Martin military aircraft plant in California. The cause of the toxic waste, you guessed it, Frank Stallone. --Norm Macdonald, SNL

The number one selling doll this Christmas is Tickle Me Elmo and the least popular selling doll, you guessed it, Tickle Me Frank Stallone. --Norm Macdonald, SNL

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

extremely careless leadership for america (charged with two counts of deserving each other)

The Juno satellite probe which hasn’t been heard from in five years and has been traveling through deep space finally reached Jupiter yesterday and reestablished contact with Earth. The Jupiter satellite’s first message was, "The Republican Nominee is WHO?" –Conan O’Brien

Although Hillary Clinton was cleared of charges in the investigation of her deleted emails, her actions were described by the FBI as "extremely reckless." However in her defense, the report pointed out that she was Hillary reckless, not Bill reckless. –Conan O’Brien

A couple in North Carolina was arrested for attacking each other with pizza rolls. They’ve been charged with two counts of "Deserving each other." –Conan O’Brien

They’ve been charged with two counts of "Deserving each other." (Robert Downey Jr.)

A couple in North Carolina was arrested for attacking each other with pizza rolls. They’ve been charged with two counts of "Deserving each other." –Conan O’Brien

Marvel announced that the next Iron Man will be an African-American woman. However, in keeping with Hollywood tradition, she will still be played by Robert Downey Jr. –Conan O’Brien

The Juno satellite probe which hasn’t been heard from in five years and has been traveling through deep space finally reached Jupiter yesterday and reestablished contact with Earth. The Jupiter satellite’s first message was, "The Republican Nominee is WHO?" –Conan O’Brien

Don't you hate it when you're going to Jupiter

Jeb Bush cheated on his diet and had a fried Snickers bar, pork on a stick, and a beer. Jeb Bush said he ate it so at least he could see some of his numbers go up. –Conan O’Brien

A company is developing an elevator that can take you into space. Don't you hate it when you're going to Jupiter and someone gets on the elevator and presses "Mars"? –Conan O’Brien

They will have to hunt and kill their own hair piece.

Macy's has severed ties with Donald Trump and no longer will carry his men's wear collection. From now on, men who want to look like Donald Trump will have to hunt and kill their own hair piece. –Conan O’Brien

Last night for the first time in 24 years Jupiter and Venus appeared almost on top of each other. So the gay marriage ruling is having more of an impact than we thought. –Conan O’Brien