B-Sides (Ex. Film 5/8/19)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

B-Sides (Ex. Film 5/7/19)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

B-Sides (Ex. Film 4/16/19)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

B-Sides (Ex. Film 4/4/19)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

B-Sides (Ex. Film 3/25/19)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

B-Sides (Ex. Film 3/16/19)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

B-Sides (Ex. Film 5/29/18)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

the first step to recovery is admitting that YOU’RE the problem (Mitt Romney's Boom Box)

Remember a few months ago when future former President Barack Obama got Iran to release four American prisoners? Well, it turns out he forgot to tell us about a small shipping and handling fee. Because as the prisoners were freed, $400 million was flown to Iran on a plane loaded with cash. Don't you hate it when you're on an airplane and you get stuck sitting next to $400 million? You don't know who gets the armrest. –Stephen Colbert

This week Trump attacked a Gold Star family, seemed happy about getting a Purple Heart as a gift — ’cuz it was so much easier than EARNING one — and appeared to feud with a crying baby at a campaign rally. Things have gotten so bad that Trump's allies are plotting an intervention. An intervention! “They love you Donald, and the first step to recovery is admitting that YOU’RE the problem.” –Stephen Colbert

I’m guessing this is just wishful thinking, but senior GOP officials are exploring options if Trump drops out. In fact, top Republicans have been seen standing outside Mitt Romney's house holding boom boxes. –Stephen Colbert

Every house cleaning starts by replacing the doormat (President Hu meets President Huh)

"The Bush administration reads the poll numbers, they know most Americans think their policies are failing, so they've responded by changing the person who tells us those policies. It's quite a bold move. Every house cleaning starts by replacing the doormat." --Daily Show correspondent Ed Helms

"During a Pentagon briefing, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said we're making progress and we're very close to capturing some high ranking officials. Unfortunately they are all retired U.S. generals." --Jay Leno

 "Chinese President Hu Jintao will also be visiting the White House. China's president meets America's president. President Hu meets President Huh." --Jay Leno

he was accused of plagiarizing his speech from Chumbawamba (lightning shooting from her hands was a bit much)

Tonight Hillary Clinton gave her big speech at the Democratic Convention, officially accepting the nomination for president. The speech went well, but the lightning shooting from her hands was a bit much. –Jimmy Fallon

During his big speech, President Obama said that no matter how many times Hillary Clinton gets knocked down, she always gets back up. At which point, he was accused of plagiarizing his speech from Chumbawamba. –Jimmy Fallon

Scientists from Indiana discovered that an 8-year-old orangutan named Rocky can mimic human voices and copy words in a conversational way. But it got awkward when the first thing he said was, "Actually, my name's Ricky.” –Jimmy Fallon

she's basically saying she wants to be president because she can't do anything else

"Hillary Clinton said that her childhood dream was to be an Olympic athlete. But she was not athletic enough. She said she wanted to be an astronaut, but at the time they didn't take women. She said she wanted to go into medicine, but hospitals made her woozy. Should she be telling people this story? I mean she's basically saying she wants to be president because she can't do anything else." --Jay Leno

"They have found bird flu in New Jersey, but not to worry. If any of the birds get out, New Jersey's natural toxic waste will take care of them." --Jay Leno

"A mild form of bird flu has been detected in New Jersey. Health officials said the bird flu was hard to detect, because in New Jersey, every bird coughs." --Conan O'Brien

It runs on sleeping pills and when you get on the highway, it runs on alcohol

"With these gas prices, I got smart. I'm driving the new Patrick Kennedy hybrid car. It runs on sleeping pills and when you get on the highway, it runs on alcohol." --Jay Leno

"A lot of people are very upset that Congressman Patrick Kennedy was not given a blood alcohol test after his car accident last week. I understand why they didn't do it. It's kind of like giving President Bush the SAT test. What's the point?" --Jay Leno

"The president of Iran has written a letter to President Bush. This Iranian president is very smart. To make sure Bush read the letter, he wrote it on Exxon stationary." --Jay Leno

"The president of Iran sent George Bush an 18-page letter. 18 pages? Yeah, like he's going to read that." --David Letterman

It runs on sleeping pills and when you get on the highway, it runs on alcohol

"With these gas prices, I got smart. I'm driving the new Patrick Kennedy hybrid car. It runs on sleeping pills and when you get on the highway, it runs on alcohol." --Jay Leno

"A lot of people are very upset that Congressman Patrick Kennedy was not given a blood alcohol test after his car accident last week. I understand why they didn't do it. It's kind of like giving President Bush the SAT test. What's the point?" --Jay Leno

"The president of Iran has written a letter to President Bush. This Iranian president is very smart. To make sure Bush read the letter, he wrote it on Exxon stationary." --Jay Leno

"The president of Iran sent George Bush an 18-page letter. 18 pages? Yeah, like he's going to read that." --David Letterman

It runs on sleeping pills and when you get on the highway, it runs on alcohol

"With these gas prices, I got smart. I'm driving the new Patrick Kennedy hybrid car. It runs on sleeping pills and when you get on the highway, it runs on alcohol." --Jay Leno

"A lot of people are very upset that Congressman Patrick Kennedy was not given a blood alcohol test after his car accident last week. I understand why they didn't do it. It's kind of like giving President Bush the SAT test. What's the point?" --Jay Leno

"The president of Iran has written a letter to President Bush. This Iranian president is very smart. To make sure Bush read the letter, he wrote it on Exxon stationary." --Jay Leno

"The president of Iran sent George Bush an 18-page letter. 18 pages? Yeah, like he's going to read that." --David Letterman

missiles that could reach Graceland (Sound familiar?)

"The Japanese Prime Minister joined the United States in condemning North Korea's missile policy. The Japanese Prime Minister was really upset when he found out they had missiles that could reach Graceland." --Jay Leno

"President Bush said, "You can't take millions of people with deep roots in the country and send them across the border." Really? Mexico did it." --Jay Leno

"President Bush said that these troops will be at the border temporarily. You know, just until Mexico is ready to govern itself. Sound familiar?" --Jay Leno

"Today was Dan Rather's last day at CBS. He turned in his letter of resignation, which later turned out to be a forgery." --Jay Leno

"President Bush is proposing sending six thousands National Guard troops to bolster patrols along the U.S.-Mexican border. Or as he's calling it, "No Juan Left Behind." --Jay Leno

Man, they really do not want to win this election (Shuffle of Shame)

There are some nursing homes in New York that are allowing elderly residents to have sex. There’s also a new trend the next morning at nursing homes known as the "Shuffle of Shame." –Conan O’Brien

For his running mate, Donald Trump says he’s looking for someone with experience in areas he doesn’t have. So right now Trump is looking for someone who can run a profitable casino. –Conan O’Brien

The Republican Party is coming out strongly against online pornography. Man, they really do not want to win this election. –Conan O’Brien

the Clinton campaign released Bernie Sanders' wife (when they don’t vote in November)

Bernie Sanders' endorsement of Hillary Clinton has angered many of his supporters. Many of them are threatening to not vote for her when they don’t vote in November. –Conan O’Brien

Bill Cosby has hired a woman to be his lead attorney. She says she doesn’t know how she got the job, she just woke up and there it was. –Conan O’Brien

This morning, Bernie Sanders endorsed Hillary Clinton. So, as promised, this afternoon, the Clinton campaign released Bernie Sanders' wife. –Conan O’Brien

Martha Stewart said she'd wait for him

"A jury found former Enron sleezeballs Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling guilty of fraud and conspiracy. Ken Lay? That's not a good name to have when you're going to prison. And Kenny Boy ain't too good either. I guess in prison they'll have done to them what they did to the stockholders." --Jay Leno

"Former CEO of Enron Ken Lay is going away. He's going to be sentenced in September, and it could be 16-18 years. But he got some good news today -- Martha said she'd wait for him." --David Letterman

"Well, there's a bright side to this for Ken Lay. You know, throughout the years Ken Lay has been a big campaign contributor to the Republican Party. So now, he'll be able to meet with those same people when he goes to prison." --Jay Leno

They were flushing bribe money down the toilet (out on the ledge naked)

"Earlier today, the Capitol building in Washington, D.C. was on lock down because someone heard gunshots coming from the parking lot. When the Capitol police heard this, they all said the same thing: 'Cheney.'" --Jay Leno

"In what has become standard procedure in these kind of situations, police conducted a room-by-room search of the Capitol building. That's just what congressmen want to hear this week -- a knock at the door and it's the police. They were flushing bribe money down the toilet. Ted Kennedy was out on the ledge naked." --Jay Leno

"Mexican President Vicente Fox is in the United States this week. He said he came here so he could speak directly to the Mexican people one on one. In fact, he was in Sacramento yesterday addressing our lawmakers. And out of a force of habit, they gave him a driver's license." --Jay Leno

Senators Orrin Hatch and Trent Lott are antiquing in Vermont

"Some are surprised that President Bush would back a gay marriage amendment when he clearly doesn't have the votes to pass it. I mean, since when has a lack of votes held back President Bush? It's never been a problem in the past." --Jay Leno

"Even though President Bush is pushing for this gay marriage amendment, Vice President Dick Cheney doesn't think the federal government should be involved. Cheney said the government shouldn't prevent men who are obviously in love with each other from having a relationship. For example, let's say an oil company wants to get in bed with the leader of the Republican Party -- they should be allowed." --Jay Leno

"The Senate is considering a constitutional amendment that would ban gay marriage. The amendment is expected to fall a few votes short because Senators Orrin Hatch and Trent Lott are antiquing in Vermont." --Conan O'Brien