Good to see Ann Coulter getting some work (Akhmed and Me)

"Have you heard about al Qaeda's new leader in Iraq, Abu Hamza al-Muhajer? This guy's everywhere. Earlier today he was on Iraq's big morning show, 'Live with Muhammad and Kelly.' Al-Muhajer was on the show promoting his new book, 'Akhmed and Me.'" --David Letterman

"Anybody here from New Zealand? They have a big, new attraction. It's a live sex show in New Zealand. They have actual bulls mounting a simulated cow. Good to see Ann Coulter getting some work." --David Letterman

"A few weeks ago saw the release of the documentary, An Inconvenient Truth. The title plays on moviegoers' love of reality and inconvenience. The film follows Al Gore as he tours the world talking about global warming and best of all, Al Gore is powered by a potato. Gore and a fringe group of radical liberals known as 'scientists' believe that the earth is being damaged by man-made carbon dioxide. Well, bad mouth humanity all you want, but diss carbon dioxide and the Competitive Enterprise Institute is likely to open up a can of public service advertising on your a** [on screen: Institute's ads responding to 'An Inconvenient Truth' and environmentalists' attacks on carbon dioxide]. I know what you're driving at, but I really don't think science and liberals are going to outlaw breathing." --Jon Stewart