"In a speech
yesterday, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger announce that he 'supports
lessening our dependence on foreign oil.' Unfortunately, it came out sounding
more like, 'I support lesbian independence for all.'" --Conan O'Brien
"According to the
military, they got al-Zarqawi while he was hiding in his safe house. As a
result, it's been renamed the 'not-so-safe house.'" --Conan O'Brien
"Something happened
last night, I was down in Washington, D.C., love it down there, can't get
enough of that city. Anyway, I was out with my buddy, Rep. Patrick Kennedy of
Rhode Island, and we were driving home, and I suggested we play a game of I Spy
a Concrete Barricade. Patrick is a fierce competitor and, well, he won."
--Stephen Colbert
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