she wants to be president because she can't do anything else (Salma Hayek. 90 miles)

"The most dangerous movie of the summer, 'An Inconvenient Truth,' starring Al Gore as, surprise, a fear-monger. Now, I've firmly established that I love truth in all its forms: God's-honest truth, cold, hard truth, even the awful truth. But, as it turns out, I'm not so crazy about inconvenient truth. Not convenient enough for me." --Stephen Colbert

"Hillary Clinton said that her childhood dream was to be an Olympic athlete. But she was not athletic enough. She said she wanted to be an astronaut, but at the time they didn't take women. She said she wanted to go into medicine, but hospitals made her woozy. Should she be telling people this story? I mean she's basically saying she wants to be president because she can't do anything else." --Jay Leno

"The Mexican government has been accused of encouraging its citizens to illegally immigrate to the United States. They say they're not. I'm not so sure. Someone sent me a picture of this sign in Mexico [on screen: Salma Hayek. 90 miles]." --Jay Leno