"Good news from the
White House. President Bush last week had his annual physical and he passed. He
passed his annual physical. No word yet on the mental." --David Letterman
"This Taepo-Dong
could be horrific. Millions could die from this Dong. A veritable Dong-ocaust.
By creating lethal weapons with very silly names, they're making their growing
military might seem hilariously innocuous. And you know our president -- you
mention Taepo Dong at a national security briefing, and he's taking a two-hour
ride on the giggle train. It's not just the Taepo-Dong. Did you know Kim's
working on neutron explosive that burns you from the inside out, leaving you a
charred husk of flesh? It's called Long Fat ****. Worst of all, when it blows
up, it spreads a deadly biochemical cream of sum yung guy" --Daily Show
correspondent Rob Corddry
"According to a
series of just published letters that Albert Einstein sent to his second wife,
he had ten mistresses. He would send his wife letters about his mistresses and
then ask her for advice. Or as Bill Clinton called him, 'a trailblazer, a
pioneer.'" --Jay Leno
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