Friday, July 29, 2016

You can't PowerPoint your way to jihad (some serious vanilla)

"Karl Rove, making his fifth grand jury appearance, his fifth grand jury appearance! One more and he gets to bang the gavel." --Jon Stewart

"Mayor Ray 'Chocolate City' Nagin couldn't pull in enough of the vote in New Orleans to prevent a runoff. If he hopes to hold on to his office, [he] will have to make inroads into what he's calling some serious vanilla." --Jon Stewart

"Osama bin Laden fell surprisingly short in his latest tape, in which he discussed realigning percentages of Muslim representation on the U.N. Security Council and made some funding proposals for the Hamas regime in the Palestinian Territory. You know, I think Osama's jumped the sheik on this latest tape. Osama, keep your eye on the prize. Leave the Excel spreadsheets to the financial guys. You can't PowerPoint your way to jihad." --Jon Stewart

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