the White House's third new face in two weeks, which breaks Kenny Rogers' old record

"TV's Tony Snow becomes the White House press secretary. How will he make the difficult transition from Fox News reporter to Republican apologist? President Bush, it is time to hire the folks who've never let you down. Limbaugh at Health and Human Services. Hannity at State. Then give Rummy the Medal of Freedom and install Bill O'Reilly as secretary of defense. Only problem, you might find yourself invading Vermont. And I'll replace Chertoff at Homeland Security. The man's done nothing to control the bear population." --Stephen Colbert

"The new White House press spokesman is Fox News Channel's Tony Snow. This is the White House's third new face in two weeks, which breaks Kenny Rogers' old record." --Jay Leno

"Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld made a surprise visit to Iraq yesterday. The surprise is that he's still the secretary of defense, I guess." --Jay Leno

"It's been announced that White House adviser Karl Rove will not be creating the day-to-day policy for the president anymore. You all know Karl Rove, he's the man they call Bush's brain. No, that's what they call him, Bush's brain. Now he's only going to be working part of the time, just like Bush's brain." --Jay Leno