"This week Geraldo
Rivera went to Philadelphia to investigate what he says was a plot to kill him.
So far, Geraldo has narrowed down the suspects to anyone who owns a
television." --Conan O'Brien
"Next week, 88
year-old Senator Robert Byrd will become the longest serving U.S. Senator in
American history. When asked if he was still capable of conducting the business
of state, the 88 year-old said, 'I like lemons.'" --Conan O'Brien
"In a recent
interview, Hillary Clinton said in her spare time what she likes to do is
download iTunes. And, of course, we all know in his spare time, Bill likes to
download interns." --David Letterman
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