Bush's approval rating dropped to $3 a gallon (Mission Accomplished in Spanish)

"President Bush is going to address the nation Monday night on the  immigration issue. Bush said he would have given the address tonight, but they couldn't get the 'Mission Accomplished' sign finished in Spanish soon enough." --Jay Leno

"Dick Cheney says he does expect to go hunting again. Of course, no guarantee he'll bag another lawyer." --Jay Leno

"President Bush's approval rating dropped to $3 a gallon." --Tina Fey

"In the wake of news that the NSA is monitoring American phone records, Sen. Arlen Specter, the judiciary committee chairman, said he would subpoena the phone companies to appear before his committee. The phone companies said they would try to be there some time between 10 a.m. and 6 p.m." --Tina Fey