"You know who I feel
sorry for is Osama bin Laden because all that hating us for our freedom, and
now he has to come up with a completely new reason to hate us."
--Bill Maher
"I signed up for a
new calling plan today. The 'NSA Friends and Family' plan. A $100 a month, they
listen to all my friends and all my family." --Jay Leno
"A new poll shows
that Americans now believe that Bill Clinton is more honest than President Bush. At least when Clinton
screwed the nation, he did it one person at a time." --Jay Leno
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