"Earlier today
President Bush took Japanese Prime Minister Koizumi to Graceland. The prime
minister is a huge Elvis fan. There was one embarrassing moment when President
Bush made the Japanese prime minister promise that when he visits Japan, he
will take him to the Godzilla museum." --Jay Leno
"This week Geraldo
Rivera went to Philadelphia to investigate what he says was a plot to kill him.
So far, Geraldo has narrowed down the suspects to anyone who owns a
television." --Conan O'Brien
"Enron's president,
Ken Lay, passed away last week. So I guess even God lost money on that Enron
deal. I believe the official cause of death was listed as 'karma.' The family
asked in lieu of flowers, please send some elderly retiree's entire life
savings." --Jay Leno
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